Dec 25, 2009
Dec 24, 2009
INSTANT GAME REVIEW
Modern Warfare 2 = Red Dawn directed by Micheal Mann
This has been Luis H. Garcia's INSTANT GAME REVIEW! Enjoy!
Oh, and Merry Heaven's Day!
This has been Luis H. Garcia's INSTANT GAME REVIEW! Enjoy!
Oh, and Merry Heaven's Day!
Dec 9, 2009
here's my new home:
hailsnhorns.blogspot.com
please feel free to follow this blog or post whatever's on your mind. anything's fair game as long as it isn't 4chan tasteless.
i'd do the whole myspace/facebook thing, but i'm not 15 years old anymore, and haven't been that age for over seven years.
i did this blog in the past to write about my band, but since we're dormant for the unforeseeable future, i decided to make it my own personal spot for thoughts about pretty much anything.
also, i've been posting on ripcord gogger waayy too much, and i'm pretty sure that the 'mash is sick of my ramblings on his own site.
so with that said, please check out the site and have a good one!
-m
please feel free to follow this blog or post whatever's on your mind. anything's fair game as long as it isn't 4chan tasteless.
i'd do the whole myspace/facebook thing, but i'm not 15 years old anymore, and haven't been that age for over seven years.
i did this blog in the past to write about my band, but since we're dormant for the unforeseeable future, i decided to make it my own personal spot for thoughts about pretty much anything.
also, i've been posting on ripcord gogger waayy too much, and i'm pretty sure that the 'mash is sick of my ramblings on his own site.
so with that said, please check out the site and have a good one!
-m
Dec 7, 2009
tekken 6 scenario campaign stupidity.
wow, does this mode eat a ton of ass.
enemies can block, evade and counter attack, yet you can't.
your partner is borderline retarded, and just stands there taking punishment like some sort of sex slave.
it's not even fun to play. it's not even fun to look at for that matter.
now my reaction wasn't exactly as shown above, but i did throw a chair.
2009 and developers still can't get **** right.
and i'm not knocking on the fighting system, and the other modes because they're pretty boss.
but to have a mode like scenario campaign really hurts the integrity of this game in my honest opinion.
*UPDATE*
K, so after spending a good amount of time with this heap (for some reason I have to get through this so I can get to the "real" game.) It's still a load of ass, but there are some perks.
You can beef up your characters with new clothes, and some of these actually enhance your fighting ability. Clothes and accessories are ranked from G to S allowing you to:
- upgrade your defense, attack, drop rate of items.
-increase the value of fight money.
- increase the level of damage while in rage mode.
- increase your maximum health.
- have your health replenish overtime.
- use elemental attacks on enemies (fire, ice, lighting.)
It's all fine and dandy when you know this halfway through the game.
This does have some major drawbacks.
- you can only equip 5 upgrades.
- you can't use the same/similar upgrade. (Ex. You can't equip two health upgrades, or two elemental upgrades, one of the two will be activated unfortunately.)
- when you buy items from the customize shop, some items are given a description and lists what properties it contains, a lot of them, on the other hand, don't which leaves you to run through some of the campaign's levels again.
- boss characters are unlocked through the arena and from there, you can play through their story in a single player arcade setup. Unfortunately each character's story is about 4 matches long.
I think I finally covered everything this mode has to offer.
It's story is full of hokey, regurgitated anime diahrrea with some extra cheese. It's convoluted and kind of pointless. I mean, jin waging worldwide conflict just so that he can get rid of the mishima bloodline?
Why not just fight kazuya and heihachi to the death? Why doesn't jin just off himself if he hates his bloodline?
Bah, whatever. 2 more secret levels for me, and then it's to the pure meat and bones of this game (aka THE GOOD STUFF)
Dear namco:
You suck. Please don't use this campaign for tekken 7's inevitable console release. Thnks. Keep it simple, but still keep it loaded with a ton of modes and options.
enemies can block, evade and counter attack, yet you can't.
your partner is borderline retarded, and just stands there taking punishment like some sort of sex slave.
it's not even fun to play. it's not even fun to look at for that matter.
now my reaction wasn't exactly as shown above, but i did throw a chair.
2009 and developers still can't get **** right.
and i'm not knocking on the fighting system, and the other modes because they're pretty boss.
but to have a mode like scenario campaign really hurts the integrity of this game in my honest opinion.
*UPDATE*
K, so after spending a good amount of time with this heap (for some reason I have to get through this so I can get to the "real" game.) It's still a load of ass, but there are some perks.
You can beef up your characters with new clothes, and some of these actually enhance your fighting ability. Clothes and accessories are ranked from G to S allowing you to:
- upgrade your defense, attack, drop rate of items.
-increase the value of fight money.
- increase the level of damage while in rage mode.
- increase your maximum health.
- have your health replenish overtime.
- use elemental attacks on enemies (fire, ice, lighting.)
It's all fine and dandy when you know this halfway through the game.
This does have some major drawbacks.
- you can only equip 5 upgrades.
- you can't use the same/similar upgrade. (Ex. You can't equip two health upgrades, or two elemental upgrades, one of the two will be activated unfortunately.)
- when you buy items from the customize shop, some items are given a description and lists what properties it contains, a lot of them, on the other hand, don't which leaves you to run through some of the campaign's levels again.
- boss characters are unlocked through the arena and from there, you can play through their story in a single player arcade setup. Unfortunately each character's story is about 4 matches long.
I think I finally covered everything this mode has to offer.
It's story is full of hokey, regurgitated anime diahrrea with some extra cheese. It's convoluted and kind of pointless. I mean, jin waging worldwide conflict just so that he can get rid of the mishima bloodline?
Why not just fight kazuya and heihachi to the death? Why doesn't jin just off himself if he hates his bloodline?
Bah, whatever. 2 more secret levels for me, and then it's to the pure meat and bones of this game (aka THE GOOD STUFF)
Dear namco:
You suck. Please don't use this campaign for tekken 7's inevitable console release. Thnks. Keep it simple, but still keep it loaded with a ton of modes and options.
Dec 6, 2009
Thoughts on Tekken 6 and Prototype.
I got these today after I got rid of my wii.
I've been messing around with these games a little bit throughout the day, and I can say that I'm pretty pleased with everything so far.
Tekken 6
(Me Likes:)
-huge friggin' rooster. Like, king sized, and they're all unlocked from the start.
- lars alexanderson
- the cool "blur" effect that all next-gen games have for some reason.
- pretty environments. Some destructible ones too.
- lars alexanderson
- solid tekken controls. I.E. Jugglefest 2009.
- lars alexanderson
(What I think sucks)
- the "campaign" mode. It's total garbage, with a super cliched story that isn't really worth the time of day. And if you're a fan of tekken's story, get ready for some more head scratchers. The mechanics are dumbed down and sluggish when compared to it's arcade counterpart.
Why not go the route of normalcy and make individual storylines for each character through the arcade mode? Why should namco insist on making these mundane, half-assed single player modes for the sake of trying something "different"?
Why not make it play like tekken force mode at least? That **** was fun. Hell where's my tekken bowling?
Tekken 5 got something right where it allowed you to play through each charcter's story through the arcade mode, leaving that dumb devil within single player mode up to the players own discression.
I haven't tried any online modes yet because I know I'll get schooled. But i'm sure it'll be a decent experience.
Overall, it's Tekken with a new coat of paint, online capabilities and a huge roster. It's got the same mechanics tekken nuts are bound to love. I happen to enjoy the tekken series, so this tickles my fancy on many levels. What it gets right, it passes with flying colors, what it got wrong, fails miserably.
I noticed some topics on board 208 regarding the roster, and seriously, this is the largest roster to date, I could give two ****'s if kunimitsu, michelle chang, tiger, and forrest law are missing.
The newer characters are pretty damn fun to use. Zafina, leo, lars and miguel are my definite favorites.
I give the game an 8.5.
tl;dr
You'll love the game if you're a tekken fan.
You'll hate the game if you're not a tekken fan.
And if you're a fighting game fan looking for something to hold you off until ssfiv comes out, look no further than tekken 6.
Personally, I think it's pretty great, though not as great as tekken 3, tag tournament, or 5DR but great in it's own merit.
(Prototype)
A sandbox game where you take control of a dude named alex mercer. This guy is infected with a virus that gives him the ability to do pretty much everything. Ever.
(What I liked:)
- it's a sandbox game
- alex mercer's troubled personality. Even though the guy's a one man wrecking crew, he's also personally conflicted at the same time.
- alex mercer has a billion and one abilities, and leveling up is about as frequent as bathroom breaks with someone with a weak bladder. You're treated to all of mercer's abilities in the very beginning of the game, but it's pretty much foreshadowing of what's to come, so it backtracks to when the infection was first spread. But no worries since you will gain these abilities back pretty quickly early on in the game.
- satisfying, gratuitous, selfless violence on EVERYONE you see. Slicing a bunch of pedestrians (male and female) to hunks of meat, throwing them around and into vehicles, the river, helicopters, violent consumation sequences. It's strangley satifying, and it really gives the player a sense of empowerment, like you're totally un****withable.
Soldiers are common fodder for you to plow through, but you need to watch out for hunters and other otherworldly beings that you cross, because that's the real threat to you.
It's also incredibly satifying to take out an entire squad of police and military personel with absolute no regard for anything around you.
(What I didn't like:)
- the visuals are kinda piss poor for a 360 game.
-There's a lot of pop-up.
-Windows look like they're painted on buildings.
- new york city at times looks dull and lifeless, but when there's utter chaos amok, it's a total warzone.
- the way the developer's mapped nyc is highly questionable. I know the city enough to know that the manhattan/ brooklyn bridges are not like 20 blocks away from the empire state building. At least make an accurate map of nyc, instead of just pasting landmarks where they don't belong.
- product placement galore. And I hate it. I only expect it out of sports games, but why this? You'll see endless gamestop, game crazy, and dc comics advertisements along with fake advertisements throughout the city. It's totally wierd and out of place.
- voice acting is kinda decent, sometimes it get's hammy, and tons of forced swearing in an embarassing attempt to make the game "edgy".
Besides the negatives, there's a ton of fun to be had in this game. What it get's right the game pays off in spades, rewarding the player with a truly unstoppable force of a character. Powering up and leveling up are frequent, as you gain a ton of evolution points (the game's currency) for pretty much anything. The mission structure is good to okay, in a sense where it varies, but not so much, but not like assassin's creed 1 or brutal legend's secondary missions.
I give this game an 8.
tl;dr
You like carnage? Check this one out. Great game, visuals are sorely lacking, and usually visuals don't concern me too much, but c'mon it's freaking 2009, this game has no excuse for looking like a nice ps2 game on 480p.
I've been messing around with these games a little bit throughout the day, and I can say that I'm pretty pleased with everything so far.
Tekken 6
(Me Likes:)
-huge friggin' rooster. Like, king sized, and they're all unlocked from the start.
- lars alexanderson
- the cool "blur" effect that all next-gen games have for some reason.
- pretty environments. Some destructible ones too.
- lars alexanderson
- solid tekken controls. I.E. Jugglefest 2009.
- lars alexanderson
(What I think sucks)
- the "campaign" mode. It's total garbage, with a super cliched story that isn't really worth the time of day. And if you're a fan of tekken's story, get ready for some more head scratchers. The mechanics are dumbed down and sluggish when compared to it's arcade counterpart.
Why not go the route of normalcy and make individual storylines for each character through the arcade mode? Why should namco insist on making these mundane, half-assed single player modes for the sake of trying something "different"?
Why not make it play like tekken force mode at least? That **** was fun. Hell where's my tekken bowling?
Tekken 5 got something right where it allowed you to play through each charcter's story through the arcade mode, leaving that dumb devil within single player mode up to the players own discression.
I haven't tried any online modes yet because I know I'll get schooled. But i'm sure it'll be a decent experience.
Overall, it's Tekken with a new coat of paint, online capabilities and a huge roster. It's got the same mechanics tekken nuts are bound to love. I happen to enjoy the tekken series, so this tickles my fancy on many levels. What it gets right, it passes with flying colors, what it got wrong, fails miserably.
I noticed some topics on board 208 regarding the roster, and seriously, this is the largest roster to date, I could give two ****'s if kunimitsu, michelle chang, tiger, and forrest law are missing.
The newer characters are pretty damn fun to use. Zafina, leo, lars and miguel are my definite favorites.
I give the game an 8.5.
tl;dr
You'll love the game if you're a tekken fan.
You'll hate the game if you're not a tekken fan.
And if you're a fighting game fan looking for something to hold you off until ssfiv comes out, look no further than tekken 6.
Personally, I think it's pretty great, though not as great as tekken 3, tag tournament, or 5DR but great in it's own merit.
(Prototype)
A sandbox game where you take control of a dude named alex mercer. This guy is infected with a virus that gives him the ability to do pretty much everything. Ever.
(What I liked:)
- it's a sandbox game
- alex mercer's troubled personality. Even though the guy's a one man wrecking crew, he's also personally conflicted at the same time.
- alex mercer has a billion and one abilities, and leveling up is about as frequent as bathroom breaks with someone with a weak bladder. You're treated to all of mercer's abilities in the very beginning of the game, but it's pretty much foreshadowing of what's to come, so it backtracks to when the infection was first spread. But no worries since you will gain these abilities back pretty quickly early on in the game.
- satisfying, gratuitous, selfless violence on EVERYONE you see. Slicing a bunch of pedestrians (male and female) to hunks of meat, throwing them around and into vehicles, the river, helicopters, violent consumation sequences. It's strangley satifying, and it really gives the player a sense of empowerment, like you're totally un****withable.
Soldiers are common fodder for you to plow through, but you need to watch out for hunters and other otherworldly beings that you cross, because that's the real threat to you.
It's also incredibly satifying to take out an entire squad of police and military personel with absolute no regard for anything around you.
(What I didn't like:)
- the visuals are kinda piss poor for a 360 game.
-There's a lot of pop-up.
-Windows look like they're painted on buildings.
- new york city at times looks dull and lifeless, but when there's utter chaos amok, it's a total warzone.
- the way the developer's mapped nyc is highly questionable. I know the city enough to know that the manhattan/ brooklyn bridges are not like 20 blocks away from the empire state building. At least make an accurate map of nyc, instead of just pasting landmarks where they don't belong.
- product placement galore. And I hate it. I only expect it out of sports games, but why this? You'll see endless gamestop, game crazy, and dc comics advertisements along with fake advertisements throughout the city. It's totally wierd and out of place.
- voice acting is kinda decent, sometimes it get's hammy, and tons of forced swearing in an embarassing attempt to make the game "edgy".
Besides the negatives, there's a ton of fun to be had in this game. What it get's right the game pays off in spades, rewarding the player with a truly unstoppable force of a character. Powering up and leveling up are frequent, as you gain a ton of evolution points (the game's currency) for pretty much anything. The mission structure is good to okay, in a sense where it varies, but not so much, but not like assassin's creed 1 or brutal legend's secondary missions.
I give this game an 8.
tl;dr
You like carnage? Check this one out. Great game, visuals are sorely lacking, and usually visuals don't concern me too much, but c'mon it's freaking 2009, this game has no excuse for looking like a nice ps2 game on 480p.
Dec 3, 2009
My KOFXII review
I've been wanting to do this for a REALLY long time.
For four years, SNKP has been developing this game, or were they lying because honestly, this game looks and feels like it didn't take four years to make.
SNKP was shooting maaad retarded ****, making boisterous claims that they were opting the make the "ultimate 2-D game."
I thought," well, it's about damn time they rebuild the game from the ground up. Maybe they can make something halfway decent.
"
The last KOF game I played was KOFXI and in all honesty, I really enjoyed that game. It played pretty well, controls were smooth and ultra-responsive, the roster was huge and great. New characters like oswald were a blast to use, the systems used for the game were far more deep than SNK has ever used.
All in all, it was the last great KOF game in my eyes, and I only REALLY liked two or three of them.
I feel that in terms of gameplay, the KOF series was definitely moving in the right direction. Taking cues from MvC2 and implementing it into KOF was a pretty fresh thing to do.
Now, consider the options that SNKP were working with while developing KOFXII, they could've easily expanded on the systems it's predecessor used, maybe add some new gameplay element, while tweaking the foundations set by XI, while adding a shiny, new coat of that fresh HD paint the series so desperately needed since 1997.
Did SNK deliver? No.
Is it ultimate? No.
does it suck? Totally.
And sucking is an SNK institution.
Here's what I liked:
- the fact that I was able to trade it back in along with blazblue to get brutal legend.
- character sprites look fine, some look really weird and the overmuscular look to most of the male characters seem kinda forced.
What I didn't like: (jesus, where to start...)
- the price tag.
- the fighting system that takes 12 steps back twelves years to KOF94 territory. I'm almost convinced that the fighting system used in this game was purely a test engine to examine the fluidity of the character sprites.
- character movesets are abysmal. In a series of games where a lot of characters get a ton of moves at their arsenal, characters like elizabeth get like, 4 command dodges, and 1 command move.
Iori get's the worst moves in the entire KOF saga. And this puzzles me because wasn't KOFXII supposed to end the ASH saga? Why give Iori a moveset when this entry isn't series canon? Why call it a "dream match" when only 4 characters from the ash saga make an appearance with 22 characters in all? Why call it a dream match in the first place? Why not call it a beta? A 60 dollar beta? What kind of crack was SNKP smoking when such boisterous claims were made? Why is water wet?
This game is broken beyond any kind of repair. And to think, someone on board 208 claimed that this game was worth a full 60 dollars. Man, cocaine's a hell of a drug.
- there's only five stages.
- no story mode.
- the arcade mode is a time attack.
- broken online mode in which SNKP/Ignition are still attempting to fix. It's unbearable, unplayable, unbelievably choppy, and laggy. Tons of input lag as well. And this is after...2 or 3 updates.
- characters react to hits in extremely odd fashion.
- only one DM per character. Not even LDMs.
- this game was 60 bucks at launch.
- it's an incomplete mess. Raiden v. Elizabeth matches are an ordeal due to the handcuffs glitch that was never #*?!ing fixed.
I close this review with this:
You're pretty much asking for an expensive coaster that you can actually insert into your 360/PS3 and watch diarreah in HD, in all of it's jagged glory. You will get your 60 dollars worth in about 1 playthrough the arcade mode.
What SNK should've done was to spend another 50 years on the game, maybe then it would've had potential, but for a company in shambles as SNKP is, it really shouldn't come as a shock when they release yet another steaming pile of garbage to a bunch of people hoping to capitalize on the fighting game revival (thanks SFIV) only to crash and burn hard.
SNKP released this game to turn heads, to hopefully gain new fans thing is, they forgot that nobody buys their games, nor does the public (US public) care for that matter.
Games like SFIV, blazblue, and tekken 6 justify their 60 dollar price tags because they offer a complete and satisfying experience. They seemed to have gotten everything right in terms of pleasing the consumer/ fighting gamer.
For SNKP not to follow such important criteria just makes me want to climb a clock tower and go on a shooting rampage.
tl;dr
In short. This game blows. It sucks. It spits. It gargles. It chokes. It's a complete mess of a game. This title proves that the developers were more concerned with visuals rather than a visceral experience.
And to be quite honest, the visuals are a mixed bag.
You'll like it if you've never played a fighting game in your life.
You'll hate it if you've played countless fighting games in your life....or any video game for that matter
3/10
I give it a 3 because at least the controls aren't sluggish like classic KOF games.
and in a shameful attempt to please fans...whoever they are, SNK decided to release ASTs for download on XBL. Really?? I hope it fixes the GAMEPLAY and adds like, 100 new features to the game....
Seriously. FK SKN.
For four years, SNKP has been developing this game, or were they lying because honestly, this game looks and feels like it didn't take four years to make.
SNKP was shooting maaad retarded ****, making boisterous claims that they were opting the make the "ultimate 2-D game."
I thought," well, it's about damn time they rebuild the game from the ground up. Maybe they can make something halfway decent.
"
The last KOF game I played was KOFXI and in all honesty, I really enjoyed that game. It played pretty well, controls were smooth and ultra-responsive, the roster was huge and great. New characters like oswald were a blast to use, the systems used for the game were far more deep than SNK has ever used.
All in all, it was the last great KOF game in my eyes, and I only REALLY liked two or three of them.
I feel that in terms of gameplay, the KOF series was definitely moving in the right direction. Taking cues from MvC2 and implementing it into KOF was a pretty fresh thing to do.
Now, consider the options that SNKP were working with while developing KOFXII, they could've easily expanded on the systems it's predecessor used, maybe add some new gameplay element, while tweaking the foundations set by XI, while adding a shiny, new coat of that fresh HD paint the series so desperately needed since 1997.
Did SNK deliver? No.
Is it ultimate? No.
does it suck? Totally.
And sucking is an SNK institution.
Here's what I liked:
- the fact that I was able to trade it back in along with blazblue to get brutal legend.
- character sprites look fine, some look really weird and the overmuscular look to most of the male characters seem kinda forced.
What I didn't like: (jesus, where to start...)
- the price tag.
- the fighting system that takes 12 steps back twelves years to KOF94 territory. I'm almost convinced that the fighting system used in this game was purely a test engine to examine the fluidity of the character sprites.
- character movesets are abysmal. In a series of games where a lot of characters get a ton of moves at their arsenal, characters like elizabeth get like, 4 command dodges, and 1 command move.
Iori get's the worst moves in the entire KOF saga. And this puzzles me because wasn't KOFXII supposed to end the ASH saga? Why give Iori a moveset when this entry isn't series canon? Why call it a "dream match" when only 4 characters from the ash saga make an appearance with 22 characters in all? Why call it a dream match in the first place? Why not call it a beta? A 60 dollar beta? What kind of crack was SNKP smoking when such boisterous claims were made? Why is water wet?
This game is broken beyond any kind of repair. And to think, someone on board 208 claimed that this game was worth a full 60 dollars. Man, cocaine's a hell of a drug.
- there's only five stages.
- no story mode.
- the arcade mode is a time attack.
- broken online mode in which SNKP/Ignition are still attempting to fix. It's unbearable, unplayable, unbelievably choppy, and laggy. Tons of input lag as well. And this is after...2 or 3 updates.
- characters react to hits in extremely odd fashion.
- only one DM per character. Not even LDMs.
- this game was 60 bucks at launch.
- it's an incomplete mess. Raiden v. Elizabeth matches are an ordeal due to the handcuffs glitch that was never #*?!ing fixed.
I close this review with this:
You're pretty much asking for an expensive coaster that you can actually insert into your 360/PS3 and watch diarreah in HD, in all of it's jagged glory. You will get your 60 dollars worth in about 1 playthrough the arcade mode.
What SNK should've done was to spend another 50 years on the game, maybe then it would've had potential, but for a company in shambles as SNKP is, it really shouldn't come as a shock when they release yet another steaming pile of garbage to a bunch of people hoping to capitalize on the fighting game revival (thanks SFIV) only to crash and burn hard.
SNKP released this game to turn heads, to hopefully gain new fans thing is, they forgot that nobody buys their games, nor does the public (US public) care for that matter.
Games like SFIV, blazblue, and tekken 6 justify their 60 dollar price tags because they offer a complete and satisfying experience. They seemed to have gotten everything right in terms of pleasing the consumer/ fighting gamer.
For SNKP not to follow such important criteria just makes me want to climb a clock tower and go on a shooting rampage.
tl;dr
In short. This game blows. It sucks. It spits. It gargles. It chokes. It's a complete mess of a game. This title proves that the developers were more concerned with visuals rather than a visceral experience.
And to be quite honest, the visuals are a mixed bag.
You'll like it if you've never played a fighting game in your life.
You'll hate it if you've played countless fighting games in your life....or any video game for that matter
3/10
I give it a 3 because at least the controls aren't sluggish like classic KOF games.
and in a shameful attempt to please fans...whoever they are, SNK decided to release ASTs for download on XBL. Really?? I hope it fixes the GAMEPLAY and adds like, 100 new features to the game....
Seriously. FK SKN.
Dec 2, 2009
i sold a bunch of fighting games to get brutal legend...
this was like, a month ago i believe. i was growing tired of the games i had, and i really enjoyed brutal legend so it was pretty much a win/win deal.
i got rid of blazblue (limited edition version), KOFXII, and some wii-ner games that i barely even look at.
my reasons for getting rid of blazblue:
1.) it's not aesthetically pleasing to me.
2.) i'd much rather prefer the technicality of a GG game.
3.) blazblue's kinda light in terms of movesets imo.
4.) jin's throw chain.
5.) people picking the same three people online (ragna, nu, jin, SOMETIMES tager)
if you're a total anime nerd, you'll probably orgasm all over this game. but for me, the fun lasted for about a week, and has gathered dust ever since....until i traded it in at gamestop.
my reasons for getting rid of KOFXII:
1.) it sucks
2.) it's garbage.
3.) **** plays better than this.
4.) it was a birthday present, and usually i don't throw away gifts, but man, someone really had it in for me i guess...
5.) it's garbage.
i got rid of the wii stuff because let's face it, wii has more shovelware than it does PLAYABLE games. in a way, i kinda regret buying that system, after the novelty of BARWLL, MARIO GALAXY, and TVC wore down. but madworld and no more heroes is pretty dope.
small brutal legend review:
jack black looks like a cross between glenn danzig (late 80's era) and....jack black.
it's a game dedicated to those who love everything and anything metal. you have three major factions: true metal dudes (ironheade), hair metal dudes (lionwhyte), and the goth/black metal undead crew.
all the cliches are alive and well in this game, and if you were into this kinda stuff growing up, you'll develop that warm, fuzzy feeling in your gut.
(what i loved:)
- the story, it starts with eddie riggs doing what he does best, roadie-ing for the worst "metal" band in the world. after the stage piece knocks eddie out, his blood touches his skull belt buckle, and transports him into a world of metal. he pretty much becomes "the chosen one" the savior that will bring this world of heavy metal album covers to peace and tranquility.
- the voice acting's top notch, and jack black's lines are pretty hilarious. and it's sort of a different side to jack black. he seems more mellow this time around, and if you've seen any of his films, you'll notice the difference too.
- though i'm not a fan of ozzy osbourne (i think he's pretty overrated, and in terms of metal, i'm more of a slayer guy.) he makes an appearance as "the god of metal". and unlike his MTV counterpart, you can ACTUALLY understand the words coming out of his mouth. his lines are actually quite funny.
- lemmy killmeister (the killmaster) vocalist and bassist of motorhead also voices a crucial character, he's the ring leader of a group of bikers who heal your troops when you begin the stage battles. really chill character, pretty funny lines as well. he's recreated in the game fairly well, albeit more cartoonish, in all of his huge-welts-on-his-face glory.
- the art direction is cartoonish, and inspired by heavy metal album covers. that's pretty badass, and it really works well with this game.
- guitar solos that SHRED. you're given a variety of solos to use in the game. you have the face melter which does what it says. you have a solo that summons wild animals, you have a solo that strengthens your units' fighting ability, you have solos that build merch booths which supplies your stage with fans (and funds) to use bigger and better troops, and upgrade your stage. you also have guitar solos that raise relics giving you a place to upgrade your car and abilities.
(what i didn't like:)
- the length of the game is really short. it'll take you like less then ten hours to complete.
- the secondary missions suffer from assassin's creed 1 syndrome.
- the goth/black metal hordes are ridiculous to vanquish. and at times too much for the player to handle, this is also partially due to the fact that this game has some really flawed real time strategy elements. they also destroy your merch booths quicker than any enemy faction in the game.
- the currency system sucks because you don't get enough currency. i'm nearly finished with the game and i need a ton more upgrades to really plow through this game. and doing secondary missions at such a crucial point in the game's story seems redundant and out of the way.
- real time strategy elements. i don't know worth a damn of real time strategy. i'm not a strategerist (this was intended). i believe this element could've been done away with. maybe the concept had sounded good on paper, but it kinda falls flat on it's ass. i don't like having to rally troops and watch them brutallize everything in sight. it's kind of a cop-out because this game just screams "you're an awesome heavy metal dude, kill everyone, take no prisoners, drown them in their own blood!" you do that to an extent, otherwise, the major fights are all RTS based messes. the controls for the RTS sequences are convoluted and pretty damn confusing. since every button is mapped to something, in order to command a certain number of troops, you need to highlight them first, and then hold two buttons, maybe three to actually use them. but the AI is flawed too, in a sense that THEY DON'T @$#%ING DO ANYTHING YOU TELL THEM TO.
when you're just screwing around in the RTS sequences, you'll win by mistake, but when you actually try (two dark ophelia fights) they won't do a damn thing right.
i'd give it an 7.5, based solely on it's charm, and it's love to the metal genre, but the RTS elements could've been replaced with something way more fun. but if metal's not your thing, and you hate all things jack black, stay away from it.
but if you like all of this kinda stuff, give it a try. it's a good game. it's funny, it's incredibly charming and endearing, but it's like 10 blocks away from being great. i happen to dig that classic metal stuff, and jack black (his tropic thunder performance was amazing imo...that whole movie was amazing.) but i despise RTS and really wanted a game that i can crank slayer and just maul demons for like 15 hours.
tl;dr
game's good if you're a metal/rts fan.
you won't like the length, or mission variety.
game totally sucks if you're not into this stuff.
i got rid of blazblue (limited edition version), KOFXII, and some wii-ner games that i barely even look at.
my reasons for getting rid of blazblue:
1.) it's not aesthetically pleasing to me.
2.) i'd much rather prefer the technicality of a GG game.
3.) blazblue's kinda light in terms of movesets imo.
4.) jin's throw chain.
5.) people picking the same three people online (ragna, nu, jin, SOMETIMES tager)
if you're a total anime nerd, you'll probably orgasm all over this game. but for me, the fun lasted for about a week, and has gathered dust ever since....until i traded it in at gamestop.
my reasons for getting rid of KOFXII:
1.) it sucks
2.) it's garbage.
3.) **** plays better than this.
4.) it was a birthday present, and usually i don't throw away gifts, but man, someone really had it in for me i guess...
5.) it's garbage.
i got rid of the wii stuff because let's face it, wii has more shovelware than it does PLAYABLE games. in a way, i kinda regret buying that system, after the novelty of BARWLL, MARIO GALAXY, and TVC wore down. but madworld and no more heroes is pretty dope.
small brutal legend review:
jack black looks like a cross between glenn danzig (late 80's era) and....jack black.
it's a game dedicated to those who love everything and anything metal. you have three major factions: true metal dudes (ironheade), hair metal dudes (lionwhyte), and the goth/black metal undead crew.
all the cliches are alive and well in this game, and if you were into this kinda stuff growing up, you'll develop that warm, fuzzy feeling in your gut.
(what i loved:)
- the story, it starts with eddie riggs doing what he does best, roadie-ing for the worst "metal" band in the world. after the stage piece knocks eddie out, his blood touches his skull belt buckle, and transports him into a world of metal. he pretty much becomes "the chosen one" the savior that will bring this world of heavy metal album covers to peace and tranquility.
- the voice acting's top notch, and jack black's lines are pretty hilarious. and it's sort of a different side to jack black. he seems more mellow this time around, and if you've seen any of his films, you'll notice the difference too.
- though i'm not a fan of ozzy osbourne (i think he's pretty overrated, and in terms of metal, i'm more of a slayer guy.) he makes an appearance as "the god of metal". and unlike his MTV counterpart, you can ACTUALLY understand the words coming out of his mouth. his lines are actually quite funny.
- lemmy killmeister (the killmaster) vocalist and bassist of motorhead also voices a crucial character, he's the ring leader of a group of bikers who heal your troops when you begin the stage battles. really chill character, pretty funny lines as well. he's recreated in the game fairly well, albeit more cartoonish, in all of his huge-welts-on-his-face glory.
- the art direction is cartoonish, and inspired by heavy metal album covers. that's pretty badass, and it really works well with this game.
- guitar solos that SHRED. you're given a variety of solos to use in the game. you have the face melter which does what it says. you have a solo that summons wild animals, you have a solo that strengthens your units' fighting ability, you have solos that build merch booths which supplies your stage with fans (and funds) to use bigger and better troops, and upgrade your stage. you also have guitar solos that raise relics giving you a place to upgrade your car and abilities.
(what i didn't like:)
- the length of the game is really short. it'll take you like less then ten hours to complete.
- the secondary missions suffer from assassin's creed 1 syndrome.
- the goth/black metal hordes are ridiculous to vanquish. and at times too much for the player to handle, this is also partially due to the fact that this game has some really flawed real time strategy elements. they also destroy your merch booths quicker than any enemy faction in the game.
- the currency system sucks because you don't get enough currency. i'm nearly finished with the game and i need a ton more upgrades to really plow through this game. and doing secondary missions at such a crucial point in the game's story seems redundant and out of the way.
- real time strategy elements. i don't know worth a damn of real time strategy. i'm not a strategerist (this was intended). i believe this element could've been done away with. maybe the concept had sounded good on paper, but it kinda falls flat on it's ass. i don't like having to rally troops and watch them brutallize everything in sight. it's kind of a cop-out because this game just screams "you're an awesome heavy metal dude, kill everyone, take no prisoners, drown them in their own blood!" you do that to an extent, otherwise, the major fights are all RTS based messes. the controls for the RTS sequences are convoluted and pretty damn confusing. since every button is mapped to something, in order to command a certain number of troops, you need to highlight them first, and then hold two buttons, maybe three to actually use them. but the AI is flawed too, in a sense that THEY DON'T @$#%ING DO ANYTHING YOU TELL THEM TO.
when you're just screwing around in the RTS sequences, you'll win by mistake, but when you actually try (two dark ophelia fights) they won't do a damn thing right.
i'd give it an 7.5, based solely on it's charm, and it's love to the metal genre, but the RTS elements could've been replaced with something way more fun. but if metal's not your thing, and you hate all things jack black, stay away from it.
but if you like all of this kinda stuff, give it a try. it's a good game. it's funny, it's incredibly charming and endearing, but it's like 10 blocks away from being great. i happen to dig that classic metal stuff, and jack black (his tropic thunder performance was amazing imo...that whole movie was amazing.) but i despise RTS and really wanted a game that i can crank slayer and just maul demons for like 15 hours.
tl;dr
game's good if you're a metal/rts fan.
you won't like the length, or mission variety.
game totally sucks if you're not into this stuff.
Dec 1, 2009
Beating up on Balrog isn't a hate crime.
Wow, the year's almost over. Good riddance. It's been a pretty tumultuous year for myself, and I'm sure a few others.
If 2009 was a person, I'd kick it in the balls, repeating my attack until the poor beast becomes sterile.
Hopefully 2010 brings us all much joy and tranquility.
Time for a review:
I've been taking a break from the fighting game arena to play more lengthy, involving action games.
Before I wasted all my time on assassin's creed II, I was on the verge of completing a few other games.
We'll start with the force unleashed.
I'm a huge star wars fan, I even sat through the prequel trilogy in all of it's overproduced, underacted glory. They're not particularly great films, though episode III deserves some kind of merit, since it was the most enjoyable out of the three.
once I heard about the force unleashed, and how it's supposed to bridge the gap between revenge of the sith and a new hope, I was instantly intrigued. Let's backtrack to late 2008 when it came out. I enjoyed the demo immensely, and had contemplated many times on picking it up.
Finally, over a year later I decided to grab a copy for 12 bucks.
that feeling of wonder and nostalgia washed over me, thinking to myself, "wow, this game is canon to the series? Color me excited."
Then we get to the vader part. It was depressingly disappointing. You can't do much with vader when compared to starkiller. You'd think vader would be given the abilities to do pretty much anything a sith can do. But no, all you can do is use your light saber, jump once, not even a double jump, force lighting and force grip.
I was in shock at how amazing the voice acting was. The voice acting in this game beasts the acting in the entire prequel trilogy.
The story is engaging, and unfortunately, is the only thing that keeps me playing this mess of a game.
The first couple of levels are okay. It doesn't start getting retarded til' you reach the junk planet.
By then, you're starkiller, you may have leveled up a few times before you reached this part of the game. By this time I started sperlunking my controller without a bungie chord or parachute, I invented new curse words, and pretty much argued with the screen like a bouncer at a punk show.
You'll die more times before you reach a checkpoint. There are a ton of unfair deaths, imperial soldiers and guards seem to have the upper-hand on a supposedly indestructible warrior of the force.
You'd think that with all these powers, you'd be able to plow through these guys. Not even with decked out upgrades would you be able to succeed this feat because they're always gonna throw you some wacky AT-AT walker that uses magnets to mimic your force powers.
Royal Guards take you out like a flyswatter, storm troopers and the like actually have ability. I remember in the films, these were just common banter for jedi to plow through. Not in this game.
There are also really ugly camera and pop up issues.
The platforming is dumb because I couldn't figure out how to get to the other side without dying 100 times, then finding out that I needed an air dash upgrade.
What. The. *#@+!!!!???
And here's the worst part in the entire game:
That stupid #*@+ing star destroyer sequence where you have to spend like, an hour and a half trying to force it down with your force powers while hordes and hordes of tie fighters try to take you out.
Not only that, the sequence was flawed because it'll signal you when all the tie fighters have been destroyed. But sometimes it'll signal you while there's still a random tie fighter flying around and you can do anything because your too busy taking down the star destroyer. And you'll probably end up dying, or canceling the sequence only prolonging the agony.
There are also plotholes in the game and in order to access them you need to buy the missions (ex. starkiller talks about his involvement in the jedi trails before he reaches the death star.)... I guess "digital molecular matter" was all these developers were thinking about, and even that's half assed. You mean I can take down a tree with force powers but I can't slice a random stone? I can't split a small shrub in half?
This game does more wrong than it does right.
It's an okay game for it's current price tag and story, but other than that, developers thought they'd bitch out on the actual GAMEPLAY and focus on "digital molecular matter" and running the game on three different physics engines.
I'm getting a migraine just thinking about it.
tl;dr
Game sucks, story's good, you have to pay to play plotholes in the story when it should've BEEN added to the game already.
This game easily deserves a 5 maybe less, but if you're a sentimental star wars fan it gets a 6.
If 2009 was a person, I'd kick it in the balls, repeating my attack until the poor beast becomes sterile.
Hopefully 2010 brings us all much joy and tranquility.
Time for a review:
I've been taking a break from the fighting game arena to play more lengthy, involving action games.
Before I wasted all my time on assassin's creed II, I was on the verge of completing a few other games.
We'll start with the force unleashed.
I'm a huge star wars fan, I even sat through the prequel trilogy in all of it's overproduced, underacted glory. They're not particularly great films, though episode III deserves some kind of merit, since it was the most enjoyable out of the three.
once I heard about the force unleashed, and how it's supposed to bridge the gap between revenge of the sith and a new hope, I was instantly intrigued. Let's backtrack to late 2008 when it came out. I enjoyed the demo immensely, and had contemplated many times on picking it up.
Finally, over a year later I decided to grab a copy for 12 bucks.
that feeling of wonder and nostalgia washed over me, thinking to myself, "wow, this game is canon to the series? Color me excited."
Then we get to the vader part. It was depressingly disappointing. You can't do much with vader when compared to starkiller. You'd think vader would be given the abilities to do pretty much anything a sith can do. But no, all you can do is use your light saber, jump once, not even a double jump, force lighting and force grip.
I was in shock at how amazing the voice acting was. The voice acting in this game beasts the acting in the entire prequel trilogy.
The story is engaging, and unfortunately, is the only thing that keeps me playing this mess of a game.
The first couple of levels are okay. It doesn't start getting retarded til' you reach the junk planet.
By then, you're starkiller, you may have leveled up a few times before you reached this part of the game. By this time I started sperlunking my controller without a bungie chord or parachute, I invented new curse words, and pretty much argued with the screen like a bouncer at a punk show.
You'll die more times before you reach a checkpoint. There are a ton of unfair deaths, imperial soldiers and guards seem to have the upper-hand on a supposedly indestructible warrior of the force.
You'd think that with all these powers, you'd be able to plow through these guys. Not even with decked out upgrades would you be able to succeed this feat because they're always gonna throw you some wacky AT-AT walker that uses magnets to mimic your force powers.
Royal Guards take you out like a flyswatter, storm troopers and the like actually have ability. I remember in the films, these were just common banter for jedi to plow through. Not in this game.
There are also really ugly camera and pop up issues.
The platforming is dumb because I couldn't figure out how to get to the other side without dying 100 times, then finding out that I needed an air dash upgrade.
What. The. *#@+!!!!???
And here's the worst part in the entire game:
That stupid #*@+ing star destroyer sequence where you have to spend like, an hour and a half trying to force it down with your force powers while hordes and hordes of tie fighters try to take you out.
Not only that, the sequence was flawed because it'll signal you when all the tie fighters have been destroyed. But sometimes it'll signal you while there's still a random tie fighter flying around and you can do anything because your too busy taking down the star destroyer. And you'll probably end up dying, or canceling the sequence only prolonging the agony.
There are also plotholes in the game and in order to access them you need to buy the missions (ex. starkiller talks about his involvement in the jedi trails before he reaches the death star.)... I guess "digital molecular matter" was all these developers were thinking about, and even that's half assed. You mean I can take down a tree with force powers but I can't slice a random stone? I can't split a small shrub in half?
This game does more wrong than it does right.
It's an okay game for it's current price tag and story, but other than that, developers thought they'd bitch out on the actual GAMEPLAY and focus on "digital molecular matter" and running the game on three different physics engines.
I'm getting a migraine just thinking about it.
tl;dr
Game sucks, story's good, you have to pay to play plotholes in the story when it should've BEEN added to the game already.
This game easily deserves a 5 maybe less, but if you're a sentimental star wars fan it gets a 6.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
