G*y Ritchie

"The first rule to being a rocknrolla is being a rocknrolla and a rocknrolla rocknrolls while rockinrolling the rollnrocks and you dawg we herd u liek rocknrollan."

-Gerard Butler as himself

"The first rule to being a rocknrolla is being a rocknrolla and a rocknrolla rocknrolls while rockinrolling the rollnrocks and you dawg we herd u liek rocknrollan."
-Gerard Butler as himself

I watched RocknRolla this weekend. Why? I dunno. This movie didn't suck but it wasn't good...it wasn't even meh. I felt like I wasted 2 hours of my life hearing people say RocknRolla over and over again.

First thing is first when talking about a plot heavy film like this, the description. This is your typical Guy Ritchie film, frantic and full of character jumping, awkward cuts, cool camera angles and a bunch of hip cool guys and gals doing crimes and trying to get one over the other. The story revolves around Lenny Cole, an old school crime boss in the UK who calls all the shots on the London real estate market. Lenny's second in command-Archy tells the viewer all about Lenny Cole and his methods via narration. A wealthy Russian real estate tycoon and crime boss by the name of Uri Omovich goes to Lenny for help on a major new deal, for a large fee, Lenny agrees to assist Uri's endeavors. Uri agrees to pay Lenny, and as a show of faith, he insists that Lenny borrow lucky painting as a sort of retainer that their deal doesn't go tits up. Uri asks Stella, his accountant to transfer the money to Lenny. Things begin to go awry when a group of London thieves known as The Wild Bunch intercepts the payment.

To make matters worse, Uri's lucky painting that was loaned to Lenny has mysteriously been stolen, and the number one suspect is Lenny's estranged stepson, crack-addicted rock star Johnny Quid, who is presumed dead. As Lenny desperately tries to locate the painting, Uri calls in sadistic henchmen to recover his money. This spirals into a bunch of plot points about Johnny Quid who stole the painting without any tangible motive (I guess he stole it to f*** with Lenny) and shoehorned relationship between Stella and Gerard Butler's character One Two. The Wild Bunch become involved in the madness of the Russians attempts to recover the money that The Wild Bunch stole and the location of the painting.

The character focus shifts from One Two being something of a protagonist to Archy and then finally Johnny Quid. There isn't a concrete protagonist or antagonist for a fair amount of time and I suppose that's what makes this film "charming".

Moving onto the direction of the film. This film is not charming and it's yet another attempt of Guy Ritchie to make the same movie except of considerably lower quality. The only degree of branching out Mr. Ritchie has ever done is Sherlock Holmes and that's of suspect quality itself. RocknRolla has some legitimately funny moments and cool scenes however it's just churned out with the same standard formula of most of the other Guy Ritchie films.

BUILD A GUY RITCHIE MOVIE

THE GUY-ACTING NARRATOR
A GIRL-OH SO SEXY
THE CAUSE- MONEY, PAINTING, BUILDING, POWER, ETC.
ADD 1 RAT RACE FOR SAID CAUSE
THE NONDESCRIPT-A NOBODY WHO BECOMES A SOMEBODY OR A SOMEBODY WHO BECOMES A NOBODY WHO BECOMES A DIFFERENT KIND OF SOMEBODY.
ANOTHER GIRL-SHE'S UP TO SOMETHING OR SO YOU THINK
RAG TAG BUNCH- 2 WHITE GUYS AND A BLACK GUY
THE ANTAGONIST- AN OLDER MAN WITH SOME SORT OF PRESTIGE
THE RIVAL- A RIVAL TO THE ANTAGONIST WHO IS TRYING TO BUILD PRESTIGE OR HAS PRESTIGE BUT WANTS MORE.
THE ENFORCER- THE LEADER OF THE BAD GUY MOOKS OR THE HEAD MOOK WHO WORKS FOR THE OLDER MAN. HE AND LEADER OF RAG TAG GET IN RUMBLE, HE THEN RETURNS LATER IN THE FILM TO EXACT SOME SORT OF REVENGE ONLY TO BE MET WITH DEATH.
THE TWIST-THE GIRL WAS CONTROLLING EVERYTHING FROM THE SHADOWS ALL ALONG.
THE SECOND TWIST- THE FRIEND OF THE RAG TAG IS THE SON OF THE RIVAL.
TIME SKIP
QUIRKY END CREDITS.
ALWAYS AN UNEXPECTED GAY GUY eg. THE ROCK IN SNATCH OR HANDSOME BOB IN THIS.

THE REAL ANTAGONIST-EITHER THE FRIEND OF THE LEADER OF THE RAG TAG OR A MOOK THAT WOULDN'T BE EXPECTED.

That's a fresh idea the first time however the second and the third time, is pushing it. RocknRolla follows the Guy Ritchie rules to the letter but doesn't have that charm. When he made Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels it had that charm. It's the same argument with No More Heroes and NMH2: Desperate Struggle. The first occurrence of genius is inspired, the second occurrence is manufactured. By following this formula or an elaborated version of said formula, YOU CAN DELIVER A BALLS TO THE WALLS ACTION COMEDY THAT WILL KEEP YOU BEGGING FOR MORE, F*** YEAH! This movie has way to much energy to be comprehendible but not enough to be engaging. RocknRolla tries to push the envelope but it's already been pushed off of a cliff and is currently falling to its doom.

And Gerard Butler kept his clothes on this entire movie which was unexpected.

This movie wasn't good and wasn't bad and will or will not get a sequel. Indecisive!!