The Dumbacity of Post-grad Business Education

Q. How do socially reprehensible nerds get back at all the cool kids?

A. They offer you a 2 year post-grad business degree.

That's right. It's their way of getting even for not being cool kids. It doesn't matter how hard you try; if you're not an equally socially reprehensible nerd like them, YOU FAIL. That's the price you pay for not being NERD ENOUGH to come up to their standards.

Here's a guy who just completed his 2 year post-grad degree. He is now an "MBA", which is like the black-belt equivalent of business education. Only -1,000 times as exciting. He's a "MASTER" of business administration.

Here's a quick case-study for all you MASTERS OF BUSINESS out there.

Let's suppose Microsoft hires this MASTER OF BUSINESS guy for the position of OROCHI CEO. In just 3 days, his imaginative out-of-the-box decisions help close down all of Microsoft world-wide. Plus, he manages to accumulate a loss of $999 Billion in just 1 city.

Q. Will he be fired and maybe even tried in a Court of Law?

A. Yes. Because if he doesn't stop, Bill Gates' mama will shoot.

Q. But does that mean he's still a MASTER OF BUSINESS?

A. The answer is YES. If that doesn't make any sense to you, I'm afraid you're not NERD ENOUGH.


Okay, another case-study for you business MASTERS because you love case-studies-

Now here's a guy who needs to make a billion-$ sales pitch to Bill Gates' mom, but he only has 2 minutes because Mama Gates doesn't have a lot of time to listen to his yakkity-yak.

Q. Should he take 2 minutes, or 1 hour?

A. If I'm a normal, sane person, I will take 2 minutes or less. This comes from common sense and good manners. But if I'm a MASTER OF BUSINESS, I will need 1 whole hour. This comes from 2 years of academic training that incapacitates MASTERS OF BUSINESS from getting their point across quickly and in a few words.

You see, a typical nerdy business-assignment will ask you to write a 2000-word essay for each of the 12 courses you have to take. If you are someone who can get his / her point across in 500 words, YOU FAIL. You have to write AT LEAST 1,800 words. And so by the end of 2 years, you are incapable of writing concise, succint English.

In the given case-study, it is the non-MASTER OF BUSINESS who will actually be able to win the billion-$ deal. Which brings the question to mind: Who's the real MASTER here?

Yes indeed, there are people who actually get paid to sit their ass on a chair and read 2000-word assignments all their life. The math is pretty simple: 1 business-course taken = 1 nerd sits his ass on a chair for a whole semester.

These nerds ultimately are the people who decide the fates of MASTER students across the world. And we MASTER students support them by paying them every semester.

We PAY them to decide if we're good enough.

Let me ask you, do you need to pay GOD to tell you if you're good enough?

I suppose this makes them BEYOND god-tier.


So if you're going to pursue a degree in business tomorrow, be very clear in your mind that you are vying for the number-1 dumbest academic qualification to ever exist. The nerds will win.

Omar (MBA in 2010)

coming soon

a super review of Killzone 2 and maybe a bit after that a super review of Valkyria Chronicles. unless someone really wants an honest review of TWO WORLDS on XBOX360 then i would be glad to BLOW YOUR MINDS

Midway goes bankrupt....I CALLED IT!

Hello, everyone!

If you've been following gaming news, you know that Midway has been tanking for a good while now. Sure Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe actually managed to sell about 2 million units, but let's face it, it was the same copy-paste job that the recent MK games have been for the past few years now with DC characters to amount to noting more than a cash-in. Other than that, Wii shovelware and crappy titles have Midway's MO for quite some time now. It's shame that the arcade era of Midway is no more and even the time after leaving the arcade industry gave us Psi-Ops, The Suffering and Shadow Hearts showing great promise, but alas, they just couldn't keep up with the times. The only question I was asking was how long would Midway be allowed to continue on in such a state or as many things in this world nowadays, would mediocrity and blind fanboy hype be enough for them to carry on. Well, no more.

http://www.gamespot.com/news/6204585.html?om_act=convert&om_clk=newstop&tag=newstop;title;2

http://www.tradingmarkets.com/.site/news/Stock%20News/2174462/

FATALITY!

While it is sad to see this happen in these times of economic peril, it's hard to show sympathy for a company that thought it could get away with putting out shoddy product and refusing to adapt and learn from it's competitors. As much as Mortal Kombat gave us fond memories, MK did not age well at all. Refusing to step up to the likes of Street Fighter, Virtua Fighter, Tekken and many other fighting game series who improved as time went on, MK became nothing more than a laughing stock with Ed Boon, co-creator of MK, too blind and delusional to notice or even care that his own creation was the butt of jokes among gamers who knew better. Midway could not revel off past glory and this week's news proved it true. Too bad, but good riddance. Let's see what happens from here with Midway and their IPs. Will someone buy the catalog? The company, not that it would do very much good, as far as I know. But in the meantime, to fans who thought Midway was still respectable...."I told you so." And to Ed Boon and Midway....."Good night, Sweet prince."

P.S. Why couldn't Midway at least port The Grid to PC, PSN and XBox Live?

TOM RIDER UNDERWEAR mega-hurts preview

I got TOMB RAIDER UNDERWORLD for the PS2 a day ago. It's the PAL version, and that doesn't help. And let me tell you something: this game needs some. I played it for like 2 hours straight yesterday and now my eyes sting worse than STING the has-been wrestler.

Graphics
LARA's bust.. I mean, graphics get an easy 8/10. But this game doesn't exactly have the best backdrops. Now that I think of it, I would say the last TR game had slightly better backgrounds than the junkity junk this game throws at you. And even though LARA looks x100 hotter than Brian Lara, even she can't save the pretty bland and often outrageously horrible polygons that are supposed to look like a jungle.

Sound
For background music we have some nice serene atmosphere that you probably won't even bother listening to. Then the music pumps into METAL GEAR / SPEED mode when the bad guys arrive (whom you have to shoot at pretty mindlessly). Sound effects are OK. That's pretty much your standard PS2 deal. And that's no big deal.

Gameplay
This is where this game shines. I mean, reeks. Because it has tremendous amounts of super slowdown, with the screen at times scrolling at maybe 5 FPS. Maybe it's the PS2's lack of power that's causing all the choppy mess. Or maybe the whole game is supposed to play in Bullet Time.

Plus in the 2 hours that I've played so far, I think I spent 3 of those just swimming under the ocean because I had no idea where to go or what the hell to do.

Other than that, it's your typical TR game. You know, where all you mostly do is zoom in on LARA's.. I mean um, jump, climb, crawl, shoot.. etc. (What?)

Story
Uh huh, yeah. I think there's a story too. Game of the year material. 10/10 I'm sure..

Replay Value
I will be playing TR UNDERWORLD again tonight. Because I'm sick and tired of playing RPGs where I'm a pre-teen who saves the world after 16 million random battles.

Resident Evil 5 demo, first impressions

i cant map run to L2 and i played too much Dead Space so i cant adjust

maybe next time, Resident Evil 5, maybe next time

~Maxie