The Dumbacity of Post-grad Business Education

Q. How do socially reprehensible nerds get back at all the cool kids?

A. They offer you a 2 year post-grad business degree.

That's right. It's their way of getting even for not being cool kids. It doesn't matter how hard you try; if you're not an equally socially reprehensible nerd like them, YOU FAIL. That's the price you pay for not being NERD ENOUGH to come up to their standards.

Here's a guy who just completed his 2 year post-grad degree. He is now an "MBA", which is like the black-belt equivalent of business education. Only -1,000 times as exciting. He's a "MASTER" of business administration.

Here's a quick case-study for all you MASTERS OF BUSINESS out there.

Let's suppose Microsoft hires this MASTER OF BUSINESS guy for the position of OROCHI CEO. In just 3 days, his imaginative out-of-the-box decisions help close down all of Microsoft world-wide. Plus, he manages to accumulate a loss of $999 Billion in just 1 city.

Q. Will he be fired and maybe even tried in a Court of Law?

A. Yes. Because if he doesn't stop, Bill Gates' mama will shoot.

Q. But does that mean he's still a MASTER OF BUSINESS?

A. The answer is YES. If that doesn't make any sense to you, I'm afraid you're not NERD ENOUGH.


Okay, another case-study for you business MASTERS because you love case-studies-

Now here's a guy who needs to make a billion-$ sales pitch to Bill Gates' mom, but he only has 2 minutes because Mama Gates doesn't have a lot of time to listen to his yakkity-yak.

Q. Should he take 2 minutes, or 1 hour?

A. If I'm a normal, sane person, I will take 2 minutes or less. This comes from common sense and good manners. But if I'm a MASTER OF BUSINESS, I will need 1 whole hour. This comes from 2 years of academic training that incapacitates MASTERS OF BUSINESS from getting their point across quickly and in a few words.

You see, a typical nerdy business-assignment will ask you to write a 2000-word essay for each of the 12 courses you have to take. If you are someone who can get his / her point across in 500 words, YOU FAIL. You have to write AT LEAST 1,800 words. And so by the end of 2 years, you are incapable of writing concise, succint English.

In the given case-study, it is the non-MASTER OF BUSINESS who will actually be able to win the billion-$ deal. Which brings the question to mind: Who's the real MASTER here?

Yes indeed, there are people who actually get paid to sit their ass on a chair and read 2000-word assignments all their life. The math is pretty simple: 1 business-course taken = 1 nerd sits his ass on a chair for a whole semester.

These nerds ultimately are the people who decide the fates of MASTER students across the world. And we MASTER students support them by paying them every semester.

We PAY them to decide if we're good enough.

Let me ask you, do you need to pay GOD to tell you if you're good enough?

I suppose this makes them BEYOND god-tier.


So if you're going to pursue a degree in business tomorrow, be very clear in your mind that you are vying for the number-1 dumbest academic qualification to ever exist. The nerds will win.

Omar (MBA in 2010)