Very Bad Games

Do you remember how back in the day, you would be ready to set EVERYTHING aside just to get the best ending for your favorite games? Well, here is why that magic doesn't happen any more for games like...

1. DEAD SPACE EXTRACTION (Wii)
This game is awesome because you can only kill bad guys by shooting them in the knees and elbows. And it doesn't matter whether you're packing a handgun or an atom bomb.

2. MURAMASA THE DEMON BLADE (Wii)
Colorfully animated 2D graphics always win over minor elements like gameplay.

So what the hell is this game doing at the bottom of my collection?

3. SOUL CALIBUR LEGENDS (Wii)
If you swing your hand left, Ivy will swing her whip to the left. If you swing your hand to the right, Ivy will swing her whip to the right.


And if you...






...well, no. I'm afraid that's all she does.

4. THE CONDUIT (Wii)
This game has got some outstanding reviews from everyone who's played it. So if I tell you that it's a piece of repetitive crap, this will mean that I haven't played it, even if the in-game timer reads "4 hours". (P.S. It's a piece of repetitive crap.)

5. PRINCE OF PERSIA - THE TWO THRONES (PS2)
I'm sure this game is one of the best of the series, but games like this just don't cut it for me. Actually, I'm not really complaining about the game - just only the characters, the gameplay, and the entire concept.

6. VALKYRIE PROFILE 2 SILMERIA (PS2)
Every time I see this game, I want to pick it up and play it. I remember it had very nice graphics and a serene overall theme to it, but the gameplay could have been better. And it could have been made by anyone other than Square-Enix.

7. KILLER 7 (PS2)
If I start playing this outright weird game, my family will sign me up for rehab.

8. CASTLEVANIA: CURSE OF DARKNESS (PS2)
My brother has played this game inside out, and I always used to watch him play this back in the day. But ever since, I haven't really bothered to play it myself. That could be because it blows.

9. MEGAMAN 9 (Wii)
I hate jumping over pits only to get hit by a bird and fall straight down. %%%%ing Capcom.

10. PERSONA 4 (PS2)
OMG why is this game collecting dust! *picks up and starts playing*

Mash / Nov'09