Mar 31, 2010
The Worst of 2009
Man, someone else write an article already! I'm keeping this sucker alive. I'm sure Badmash is planning on firing my black ass for being far too pretentious the last couple of articles so I'm gonna take a page from his book.
2009 was the year that gave us greats like Uncharted 2: Among Thieves and Black Dynamite But here are some of my worst experiences of the 2009. Discuss.
1. Best Worst Game: Bionic Commando(360/PS3) Swinging is fun and it has Mr. Steve Blum in ti but they really screwed up on some fundamentals. For one, the shooting sequences tend to be junk food garbage. The good folks at Grin also made Nathan Spencer a whiny bitch. "5 YEERS OF MY LIFE, JOE! YOU SAT BEHIND A DESK!!" This is not the Rad I grew up with. Needs moar sunglasses! Could have been awesome, ended up boring.
2. Worst song of 2009: Poker Face, Lady Gaga is an attention whore.
3. Worst movie on Blu-Ray of 2009: The Spirit, someone give Frank Miller his medicine. Why did I buy this you ask? Never forget, that's why.
4.Best Worst Comic Ever: All-Star Batman and Robin, Frank...medication but meh, Jim Lee is a damn fine artist.
5. Worst comic I read: Megatokyo Vol.5 WHINY PANDERING FRED-CHAN!
6. Least enjoyable movie experience at someone elses home: Push
7. Biggest gripe of 2009: My classes at the college, doin' nothin'
8. Most boring cartoon of 2009: Up...YEAH I SAID IT!
9. Worst TNA moment: Booker T in general
10. Worst DISSIDIA FINAL FANTASY moment: The entire thing
2009 was the year that gave us greats like Uncharted 2: Among Thieves and Black Dynamite But here are some of my worst experiences of the 2009. Discuss.
1. Best Worst Game: Bionic Commando(360/PS3) Swinging is fun and it has Mr. Steve Blum in ti but they really screwed up on some fundamentals. For one, the shooting sequences tend to be junk food garbage. The good folks at Grin also made Nathan Spencer a whiny bitch. "5 YEERS OF MY LIFE, JOE! YOU SAT BEHIND A DESK!!" This is not the Rad I grew up with. Needs moar sunglasses! Could have been awesome, ended up boring.
2. Worst song of 2009: Poker Face, Lady Gaga is an attention whore.
3. Worst movie on Blu-Ray of 2009: The Spirit, someone give Frank Miller his medicine. Why did I buy this you ask? Never forget, that's why.
4.Best Worst Comic Ever: All-Star Batman and Robin, Frank...medication but meh, Jim Lee is a damn fine artist.
5. Worst comic I read: Megatokyo Vol.5 WHINY PANDERING FRED-CHAN!
6. Least enjoyable movie experience at someone elses home: Push
7. Biggest gripe of 2009: My classes at the college, doin' nothin'
8. Most boring cartoon of 2009: Up...YEAH I SAID IT!
9. Worst TNA moment: Booker T in general
10. Worst DISSIDIA FINAL FANTASY moment: The entire thing
Mar 30, 2010
Press X 2 GAEM
Hello everyone, greetings from the Slipstream! Tokaro here to give you my rundown on a little game called Heavy Rain.
Heavy Rain is a game by David Cage of Quantic Dream who made a title called Farenheit or Indigo Prophecy over here.
Quantic Dream is a French developer that specializes in ruining what could make a game beyond the pale. I say thing because of SPOLERS Indigo Prophecy's famous lol mayan robots ending turning potential Game of the Year into Shame of the Year. Now, Heavy Rain is seriously lacking mayan robots but don't worry, it sucks too.
Why does it suck, Tokaro!? Because of some severe gameplay flaws and plot holes. Let me elaberate. Heavy Rain is composed of nothing but Quick Time Events, creating an action packed cinematic feel to the game. You make a mistake and it's all over, you can die and there are multiple endings and...and...it's really lame. First of all, despite the production values of this vide game, they didn't get Native English speaking VA's for the English dialogue, given this is a story driven video game, bad voice acting has a really negative effect on how things play out.
The main gameplay flaws are:
1. When you open a door, you don't do it frame by frame, inching your arm by holding the analog stick forward looks sluggish and takes you out of the game.
2. There are plenty of moments where you are pressing triangle, square, L1, R1, O and SIXAXISing at the same time. I found some of these moments to be downright infuriating given I was juggling the controller to try and get through electrical wires.
3. Walking. Although this is meant to be a down to Earth video game, nobody walks this slowly consistently. I don't expect there to be some kind of roadie run function or anything but I wouldn't mind if the neutral walk was a bit more brisk.
4. The game has points of no action and high action and no in between. You do a mission, get into a fight and have a lot of fun and then you go home and iron your shirt or drink some orange juice. There is no balance between the high-octane moments and the incredibly mundane events. Your only incentive to slog through the mundane events is to GET TO the events where you fight in a junkyard or are beating up some thug who's trying to kill you. The hurdles to get to the enjoyment part of the game are absolutely staggering.
Heavy Rain is that kind of game that every beret wearing, cheese scarfing art**** gamer will put on a pedestal and revere as a brilliant representation of what games should be. Games should not be pre-programmed cutscenes with a sequence of QTE's flashing and mundane activities. Games are meant to be fun and although Heavy Rain had moments of enjoyment in it, they were sandwiched in between absolutely boring moments that made me contemplate death. I do not blame the folks at Quantic Dream for experimenting with the video game formula but to the video game journalists, get off of Heavy Rain's nuts all ready! If this was a movie, it would be turned down in a second. There are glaring plot holes that are never regarded, when they were brought up only 1 hour previous to the next plot point.
SPOILERS MAKE MADISON CRY
- Ethan Mars was in a coma during the Origami Killings, why is he the prime suspect?
- Scott Shelby's mother discloses his identity as the Origami Killer to Madison Paige and she is shocked. Why is she shocked? She never met him, she doesn't know who he is?
- You can read thoughts in this game, so explain this...why wasn't one of Scott Shelby's thoughts "I'm the F*&^ING ORIGAMI KILLER!!" you can't supress thoughts past the concious and the unconcious. It would constantly be in his mind unless he has a split personality like Edward Norton in Fight Club (which he doesn't) or if his identity is between the ego and the id to bring in Freudian theories (which also doesn't make sense because he reveals his indentity to Ethan and Norman during the last sequence)
- Given Shelby is the origami killer, why don't you have the option to let the suicidal mom die in the bathroom? He says that he was pretending to be a detectiveso he could bury evidence that connect him to the killings. I understand that they were trying to hide his indentity but it goes against his own statements later on in the game.
- Why does Madison come on to you!? I mean, it's not even with due cause. She's patching you up for the first time then suddenly, sucking face.
- Norman Jayden is from the future because that kind of virtual construct tech could not exist within the FBI 1 year in the future. The game was trying to be down to earth and then suddenly bam VIRTUAL CONSTRCT! LET'S LIVE ON MARS!!
- Also, there aren't a lot of black people in PHILIDELPHIA!! A city nearly dominated by the African-American population.
This game is a beautiful mess, like a car crash or something. It gets a lot wrong and looks very nice while it's doing it. The visuals are high tier despite some uncanny valley problems where people look lifeless. The music is outstanding but the voice work is not. I played it in french so I could get as far away from NAHMAN JAYDEN and his Boston accent. I enjoyed some parts of Heavy Rain but all and all, it blew. Heavy Rain will forever be regarded as a work of art among the video game journalism crews who had the wool pulled over their eyes.
Get Dragon's Lair instead. It's cheaper and probably longer too.
Mar 26, 2010
Those Who Resist The World: A more professional review of FF XIII
"What would you do...for a Klondike Bar?"
Final Fantasy XIII is the most recent addition to the Final Fantasy franchise. The game is a tour de force, an absolute visual thrill ride and has stunning music but the game itself if flawed and falls short in some important areas. The biggest complaint that I and the internet in general have is that the game is libnear for a solid 15 hours, arguably 20. 20 hours is a lot of time to put into a glorified tutorial of the actual game. That is nearly half of your usual JRPG’s length. Yes folks, 20 hours of NOTHING featuring corridors is a tad much to sit back and endure. I beat Mass Effect 2 in the time that it took to get to the enjoyable part of Final Fantasy XIII. The game doesn’t trust you with the mechanics for an interminable amount of time then, suddenly it doesn’t and the game shoots up in quality. (Did I mention 20 hours?)
My patience had drawn very thin at that point, I played for a bit longer then I gave up. I however am a fickle person as I had shown in my previous review. This time I want to argue the good and the bad of FF XIII rather than ramble on about my ambivalence towards the modern JRPG.
Gameplay
FF XIII is a noble effort and shows how much effort was put into the game, it’s a real labour of love but it could use a bit more work on the mechanics. FF XIII is very simplified compared to its PS1 and PS2 predecessors. The Auto-Battle system, less options, less stats available to buff, the list goes on. Now, this can be viewed as good or bad. It allows for new players to become well versed with a more understandable battle system that allows for very satisfying and aesthetically appealing battle sequences. The ATB system returns, but works differently from pervious titles. Users are able to chain large numbers of commands together in order to achieve attack bonuses. The battle system retains the core, such as HP, Strength and Magic without having to deal with agility, dexterity, intelligence, etc. However, this streamlined system is lacking the room for opportunity to strategize outside of the games own predetermined confines. You don’t have any stat buff items like Triple Stars from FFX or any buffs for dexterity and the like. I found that choices in battle were limited and that Paradigm Shifts would basically play the game for you. I like the freedom to make my own choices, to come up with my own strategies, I know who to buff or heal and when to. The player should have that freedom rather than having CPUs do everything to Ramirez like proportions. That’s why Persona 3’s battle system is inferior to Persona 4 IMO; you don’t get the option to control party members, only the leader. Everyone plays JRPG’s differently, it’s a shame Square-Enix doesn’t want them to.
The leveling system for the game is called the Crystarium system which and is very similar to Final Fantasy X’s sphere grid. Instead of gaining experience points after winning a battle, characters gain Crystogen Points (CP) which can then be spent in order to unlock abilities and increase core attributes like HP, Magic and Physical Strength. Beats grinding I guess. This game has a solid battle system and with some tweaks it could be one of the best in JRPG history.
Visuals
As I stated above, Final Fantasy XIII is a beautiful game. When you break out of Cocoon onto the surface, I was reminded of that scene from The Matrix Revolutions when Trinity and Neo break through the smog of the machine world and see the clouds and the sun. I’m sorry I just compared this to The Matrix Revolutions given how awful that movie was. It’s good to see a video game that is willing to relish in color in this generation dominated by brown and bloom. XIII’s colorful characters shine bright in this setting as well. Despite their ridiculous Nomura fashion, they’re quite awesome looking. FFXII contains a wide variety of monsters including the long awaited return of FF VIII’s Giant Cactuar later on in the game. This game is absolutely beautiful on the PS3 and ...uh...it looks nice on the 360. Please insert disk 17. Final Fantasy XIII did what every other Final Fantasy did, look fantastic.
Story
I found the storytelling to be a bit weak at the beginning and solid as is progressed on. The characters are a mixed bag, some captivating and some aggravating. I’m copy pasting my thoughts on Lighting from the original article.
Lighting: Our protagonist, Lightning is the former sergeant of the Guardian Corps. She is on a quest to protect her sister, Serah.She is basically Cloud Strife, or at least the Advent Children iteration of him given they made him a total angsty puss. FFXIII's director, Yoshinori Kitase says that Lightning was not designed to be a female Cloud Strife and their only similarity is that they are both soldiers and she's more fragile than Cloud. I contest this by saying that Lightning doesn’t everything within her power to not be seen as fragile and comes off as a cold, aloof, bitch. She has a total disconnect with the rest of the cast and is written to be more brooding than Cloud Strife and Squall Leonheart combined. She eventually breaks out of her shell and is basically Terra.
Snow Villers is the leader of a resistance front called NORA, and is looking for his Serah, Lightining’s sis and his waifu to be.
Hope Estheim is Shinki Ikari.
Oerba Dia Vanille who is incredibly upbeat and in tune with nature and AERIS!!! Lots of spoilers about her that I won’t put here.
Sahz Katsroy is a father looking for his son who has been branded a L’Cie and taken away by the Sanctum and does sweet gun kata. Sahz is tyhe best part of this game and embodies everything awesome about Final Fantasy XIII. Sahz Katsroy is the only likable and rational person in the entire game, bar none. He should have been the protagonist, without a doubt. We've had female protagonists, where's the BLACK PROTAGONIST!? SAY IT LOUD, I'M BLACK AND I'M PROUD!! Sahz is the mediator in a lot of high tension situations, trying to level everyone's flaring personalities and getting them back on track without being a hardass like Lightning is. He also happens to be voice by Reno Wilson aka The Black Baron MOTHERF&^%ERS!!! TIME FOR A SANCTUM CHALLENGE!
Oerba Yun Fang is awesome and uses Bahamut!
The story is this: Cocoon, Lightining looking for Serah, Serah gets chrystalized at the beginning, Snow rages, Shaz looking for son, Hope misses his mom, Vanille and Fang are lesbians, the Sanctum is evil, Jihl is hot, Cid Raines, the summons are cool, fal’Cie Anima is a prick, the game is boring until Gran Pulse is the main consensus.
The story does a decent job of evoking emotion during the cutscenes, they’re put together well enough and the writing staff definetly knew how to build a sense of remorse for the exploits of the JRPG heroes. I look at FF XIII as a clever parody of JRPG’s in general. The charcters are met with futility and their quest isn’t their own. They could basically disband at anytime and it gives you a feel for how one would fee in a life or death situation in a eworld that has branded you a monster. It’s like XMen except with less Cable! The voice acting could be better; Snow seemed a bit too charged for a man who’d been though the ringer so to speak. Barret fills the revolutionary role to a tee, it’s a battle w have to fight, we don’t relish in it. Reno Wilson and Paula Tiso are the two voices that stand out among the crowd. Also Lightining is voiced by Liara, it’s a shame she didn’t say by the goddess more...
Sound
Best Soundtrack EVER.
This game has a lot of goods but it has some jarring flaws and couldn’t keep me that interested. Still beats Heavy Rain but at least Heavy Rain doesn’t take 20 hours to start, it takes 6 hours to end lolololol bad game reaction commands JASON JASON!! But that’s another story. Final Fantasy XIII is a slow to start, decent jrpg that I didn’t care for. I was very hard on it the first time but that’s because I have absolute contempt for Square-Enix. P.S. Leona Lewis sucks.
My patience had drawn very thin at that point, I played for a bit longer then I gave up. I however am a fickle person as I had shown in my previous review. This time I want to argue the good and the bad of FF XIII rather than ramble on about my ambivalence towards the modern JRPG.
Gameplay
FF XIII is a noble effort and shows how much effort was put into the game, it’s a real labour of love but it could use a bit more work on the mechanics. FF XIII is very simplified compared to its PS1 and PS2 predecessors. The Auto-Battle system, less options, less stats available to buff, the list goes on. Now, this can be viewed as good or bad. It allows for new players to become well versed with a more understandable battle system that allows for very satisfying and aesthetically appealing battle sequences. The ATB system returns, but works differently from pervious titles. Users are able to chain large numbers of commands together in order to achieve attack bonuses. The battle system retains the core, such as HP, Strength and Magic without having to deal with agility, dexterity, intelligence, etc. However, this streamlined system is lacking the room for opportunity to strategize outside of the games own predetermined confines. You don’t have any stat buff items like Triple Stars from FFX or any buffs for dexterity and the like. I found that choices in battle were limited and that Paradigm Shifts would basically play the game for you. I like the freedom to make my own choices, to come up with my own strategies, I know who to buff or heal and when to. The player should have that freedom rather than having CPUs do everything to Ramirez like proportions. That’s why Persona 3’s battle system is inferior to Persona 4 IMO; you don’t get the option to control party members, only the leader. Everyone plays JRPG’s differently, it’s a shame Square-Enix doesn’t want them to.
The leveling system for the game is called the Crystarium system which and is very similar to Final Fantasy X’s sphere grid. Instead of gaining experience points after winning a battle, characters gain Crystogen Points (CP) which can then be spent in order to unlock abilities and increase core attributes like HP, Magic and Physical Strength. Beats grinding I guess. This game has a solid battle system and with some tweaks it could be one of the best in JRPG history.
Visuals
As I stated above, Final Fantasy XIII is a beautiful game. When you break out of Cocoon onto the surface, I was reminded of that scene from The Matrix Revolutions when Trinity and Neo break through the smog of the machine world and see the clouds and the sun. I’m sorry I just compared this to The Matrix Revolutions given how awful that movie was. It’s good to see a video game that is willing to relish in color in this generation dominated by brown and bloom. XIII’s colorful characters shine bright in this setting as well. Despite their ridiculous Nomura fashion, they’re quite awesome looking. FFXII contains a wide variety of monsters including the long awaited return of FF VIII’s Giant Cactuar later on in the game. This game is absolutely beautiful on the PS3 and ...uh...it looks nice on the 360. Please insert disk 17. Final Fantasy XIII did what every other Final Fantasy did, look fantastic.
Story
I found the storytelling to be a bit weak at the beginning and solid as is progressed on. The characters are a mixed bag, some captivating and some aggravating. I’m copy pasting my thoughts on Lighting from the original article.
Lighting: Our protagonist, Lightning is the former sergeant of the Guardian Corps. She is on a quest to protect her sister, Serah.She is basically Cloud Strife, or at least the Advent Children iteration of him given they made him a total angsty puss. FFXIII's director, Yoshinori Kitase says that Lightning was not designed to be a female Cloud Strife and their only similarity is that they are both soldiers and she's more fragile than Cloud. I contest this by saying that Lightning doesn’t everything within her power to not be seen as fragile and comes off as a cold, aloof, bitch. She has a total disconnect with the rest of the cast and is written to be more brooding than Cloud Strife and Squall Leonheart combined. She eventually breaks out of her shell and is basically Terra.
Snow Villers is the leader of a resistance front called NORA, and is looking for his Serah, Lightining’s sis and his waifu to be.
Hope Estheim is Shinki Ikari.
Oerba Dia Vanille who is incredibly upbeat and in tune with nature and AERIS!!! Lots of spoilers about her that I won’t put here.
Sahz Katsroy is a father looking for his son who has been branded a L’Cie and taken away by the Sanctum and does sweet gun kata. Sahz is tyhe best part of this game and embodies everything awesome about Final Fantasy XIII. Sahz Katsroy is the only likable and rational person in the entire game, bar none. He should have been the protagonist, without a doubt. We've had female protagonists, where's the BLACK PROTAGONIST!? SAY IT LOUD, I'M BLACK AND I'M PROUD!! Sahz is the mediator in a lot of high tension situations, trying to level everyone's flaring personalities and getting them back on track without being a hardass like Lightning is. He also happens to be voice by Reno Wilson aka The Black Baron MOTHERF&^%ERS!!! TIME FOR A SANCTUM CHALLENGE!
Oerba Yun Fang is awesome and uses Bahamut!
The story is this: Cocoon, Lightining looking for Serah, Serah gets chrystalized at the beginning, Snow rages, Shaz looking for son, Hope misses his mom, Vanille and Fang are lesbians, the Sanctum is evil, Jihl is hot, Cid Raines, the summons are cool, fal’Cie Anima is a prick, the game is boring until Gran Pulse is the main consensus.
The story does a decent job of evoking emotion during the cutscenes, they’re put together well enough and the writing staff definetly knew how to build a sense of remorse for the exploits of the JRPG heroes. I look at FF XIII as a clever parody of JRPG’s in general. The charcters are met with futility and their quest isn’t their own. They could basically disband at anytime and it gives you a feel for how one would fee in a life or death situation in a eworld that has branded you a monster. It’s like XMen except with less Cable! The voice acting could be better; Snow seemed a bit too charged for a man who’d been though the ringer so to speak. Barret fills the revolutionary role to a tee, it’s a battle w have to fight, we don’t relish in it. Reno Wilson and Paula Tiso are the two voices that stand out among the crowd. Also Lightining is voiced by Liara, it’s a shame she didn’t say by the goddess more...
Sound
Best Soundtrack EVER.
This game has a lot of goods but it has some jarring flaws and couldn’t keep me that interested. Still beats Heavy Rain but at least Heavy Rain doesn’t take 20 hours to start, it takes 6 hours to end lolololol bad game reaction commands JASON JASON!! But that’s another story. Final Fantasy XIII is a slow to start, decent jrpg that I didn’t care for. I was very hard on it the first time but that’s because I have absolute contempt for Square-Enix. P.S. Leona Lewis sucks.
Rating: 7.5 PSICOM Mooks out of 10
Mar 24, 2010
I WILL PROTECT THIS WORLD also eating crow...
Some people found my review of FF XIII...well bad and after re-reading it, it's pretty weak. I went on more of a anti-Square-Enix rant than I did write a review. I still don't like XIII or anything but I think I could have done it more justice than what I wrote about it. ColbatReign is right to a degree but I believe in a lot of the things I said about the game. I think Final Fantasy XIII is a C+ game and people want it to be an A+ game so they give it that very ranking.
But anyway, TATSUNOKO vs. CAPCOM: Ultimate All-Stars!!
Tatsunoko vs. Capcom, the game that no one thought would come out here was released late January for the Nintendo Wii. You pit the heroes like Ken the Eagle of Gatchaman of anime giant, Tatsunoko Ltd. against some of Capcom's finest such as Ryu and Viewtiful Joe in traditional Vs. style combat.
Gameplay
The combat is similar...ok exactly like Marvel vs. Capcom except with a couple less infinites and a bit of a polish. New features are implemented in combat such as the Barouque technique. Baroque allows you to recharge meter by sacrificing some of your health. The old Advancing Guard feature returns in this game as well. The game is a 4 button fighter- it used Light, Mid, Heavy and Partner. You have your basic super techniques as well as Lv.3 supers, that are much stronger but are aren't as safe. Also, Ryu is top tier and that is awesome. Given it is on the Wii, it uses the Nintendo Wi-Fi feature to initiate laggy online combat! Actually, the online is pretty decent for the Wii. I've come to the realization that people online hate Tekkaman Blade. TvC doesn't try to innovate on the Vs. combat, it is already a standard in the fighting games community. Capcom knows that players like big combos and crazy flashy effects and deliver.
Visuals
This is one of the prettiest games on the Nintendo Wii by far; I like the shininess of it all. The game looks like it has a very slick polish but also retains that cel-shaded anime feel. It's very faithful to it's source material. TvC is developed by the good folks at Eighting who are responsible for the Naruto: Clash of Ninja games. They've kept that authentic Tatsunoko look and did the Capcom characters justice. The backgrounds aren't that lively, the Gesshelshaft being the only one that has some actual stuff going on while you're fighting. I think the Vs. series sort of lost that sense of action in the bg. Like in Marvel Super Heroes vs. Street Fighter, you had backgrounds like the mall where full on riots were going on and you could see some Marvel and Capcom characters chilling out but meh. It is a solid looking game.
Sound
I like a few of the seiyuus but I'm not going to lie, I don't dig most of them. Also, they took out all of the Capcom tracks like Theme of Roll. That is MY JAM, SON! I think the placeholder tracks are solid and all but I would have preferred the original music. Alex's voice is awful. Downright bad! I don't know if it's just the having nostalgia for the 3s voice but man, so bad. YUU CAN'T ES KAPE! Nice try, Hiroki Yasumoto. It could use some work.
Overall
Tatsunoko vs. Capcom is a very fun game that I've sunk tons of time into. It is a pretty polished game but the game could use some tier balancing. I wouldn't say it's going to be the best fighting game of the year or anything but it is definitely a buy.
Score: 8.5/10
But anyway, TATSUNOKO vs. CAPCOM: Ultimate All-Stars!!
Tatsunoko vs. Capcom, the game that no one thought would come out here was released late January for the Nintendo Wii. You pit the heroes like Ken the Eagle of Gatchaman of anime giant, Tatsunoko Ltd. against some of Capcom's finest such as Ryu and Viewtiful Joe in traditional Vs. style combat.
Gameplay
The combat is similar...ok exactly like Marvel vs. Capcom except with a couple less infinites and a bit of a polish. New features are implemented in combat such as the Barouque technique. Baroque allows you to recharge meter by sacrificing some of your health. The old Advancing Guard feature returns in this game as well. The game is a 4 button fighter- it used Light, Mid, Heavy and Partner. You have your basic super techniques as well as Lv.3 supers, that are much stronger but are aren't as safe. Also, Ryu is top tier and that is awesome. Given it is on the Wii, it uses the Nintendo Wi-Fi feature to initiate laggy online combat! Actually, the online is pretty decent for the Wii. I've come to the realization that people online hate Tekkaman Blade. TvC doesn't try to innovate on the Vs. combat, it is already a standard in the fighting games community. Capcom knows that players like big combos and crazy flashy effects and deliver.
Visuals
This is one of the prettiest games on the Nintendo Wii by far; I like the shininess of it all. The game looks like it has a very slick polish but also retains that cel-shaded anime feel. It's very faithful to it's source material. TvC is developed by the good folks at Eighting who are responsible for the Naruto: Clash of Ninja games. They've kept that authentic Tatsunoko look and did the Capcom characters justice. The backgrounds aren't that lively, the Gesshelshaft being the only one that has some actual stuff going on while you're fighting. I think the Vs. series sort of lost that sense of action in the bg. Like in Marvel Super Heroes vs. Street Fighter, you had backgrounds like the mall where full on riots were going on and you could see some Marvel and Capcom characters chilling out but meh. It is a solid looking game.
Sound
I like a few of the seiyuus but I'm not going to lie, I don't dig most of them. Also, they took out all of the Capcom tracks like Theme of Roll. That is MY JAM, SON! I think the placeholder tracks are solid and all but I would have preferred the original music. Alex's voice is awful. Downright bad! I don't know if it's just the having nostalgia for the 3s voice but man, so bad. YUU CAN'T ES KAPE! Nice try, Hiroki Yasumoto. It could use some work.
Overall
Tatsunoko vs. Capcom is a very fun game that I've sunk tons of time into. It is a pretty polished game but the game could use some tier balancing. I wouldn't say it's going to be the best fighting game of the year or anything but it is definitely a buy.
Score: 8.5/10
Mar 23, 2010
PULSE FAL'CIE L'CIE L'CIE L'CIE:My thoughts on Final Fantasy XIII
Would you save a world that doesn't want you in it?
Is anyone having problems with trophies on the PS3 because I have been. I'm off line quite a bit so I have to update my profile with my current progress and have that reflect my level, I'm not a trophy whore or anything but a few of them haven't been updating. Mainly FF XIII, Demon's Souls, Fight Night Round 4 doesn't register and Yakuza 3. If anyone is having the same problem on the old Gogger with their PEE ESS THREE, please contact me.
Now, this review is going to be a bit more professional than my usual fair. I've gone through about 4 drafts attempting to formulate my thoughts on Final Fantasy XIII and I've reached a conclusion. Final Fantasy XIII is the weakest entry in the series from a storytelling standpoint. I've been railing against XIII for about 3 years now, so my opinion may be a tad jaded but I gave it a fair shake. I put time into it, which was apparently insignificant given the obscene length of the game even against it's predecessors. 60+ hours in a video game is a bit of an undertaking, especially as a student but I'm a hardcore gamer. I won't let this casual generation of regenerating health and Revenge Meters get to me. I also realized I haven't written reviews for Bayonetta, NMH2 or Mass Effect 2 yet. I'll get on that!
Now anyway, back to FF XIII. From all of the professional publications that I've read, they aren't willing to give FF XIII the rating it deserves, a 6. Why? Because it prints money and game journalism is comprised of folks trying to line their pockets. Now what's really interesting about the game reviewing world is that almost every review I have read comes of absolutely negative and yet is given a 9 or an A- in the case of the once glorious 1Up that has slowly become a cesspool of corruption. Reviewers are willing to cast aside the one thing they have, opinions for capital. That's why the online reviewing is the last bastion for the gamer; they can get the truth because most of the reviewers aren't bound by money.
Sorry to come off a little heavy handed but as a veteran FF gamer, I'm outraged at how the industry works. If they smeared some of Nomura and Kitase's crap on the inside of the case and wrote FINAL FANTASHII SURTEEN, and then shipped it...they would have sold 1 Million copies anyway. FF is a brand, it's an institution all it's own, it prints money. So the good folks at Square-Enix who haven't made a good game since Romancing SaGa (and FFIVDS but that's just a remake) in my opinion, can slap together a mediocre game like Final Fantasy XIII.
The game is beautiful, the production values are through the roof but it falls short in a few departments. For one, the game doesn't trust you with the mechanics for a solid 20 hours. You play a tutorial for about 20 hours, learning the basics. Hey Square-Enix, I know it's a new battle system and all but you trusted me with FF XII's mess of a combat system. I think this is related to how games are very much pandered to a casual audience now. Having to unlock very hard, having your life regen, check points, etc. They made a JRPG on rails, essentially.
Now, I got goose bumps when the opening FMV played. I was really pumped in fact, but then everything began to get less than engaging. The battle system is solid but once you unlock the Paradigm Shift and begin to build stats, it becomes a matter of when do I shift to medic, when do I shift to commando or saboteur then back to medic while mashing X with Lightning. I've written some Faqs and have found exploits in most of the FF games that I could work to my advantage but the one thing that set them apart was that, I was in absolute control. I understand that you can choose options and auto-battle can be turned off but in that case, why have it on?
Also the basis for the battle system, this is rich. Based off of the fight scenes from Final Fantasy VII Advent Children, the game moves characters around the screen as the fight on and on. Lightning does some flips, Sahz does some gun kata, Vanille runs around like a school girl and the enemy will attack in between your ATB charging. If you enjoy the fight scenes in Advent Children, you must be a fan of motion blur and The Matrix Revolutions. My gripe with how the battle system is presented is that despite having movement with every action, you are still technically "static" in between turns. It's simulated Real-Time, stuff is going on in between attacks but the battles are still governed by an ATB bar. I enjoy the original ATB system but XIII is like a hybrid of X and Crisis Core's battle system. Crisis Core was real time however everything still had a cool down period. I think that XIII's battle system is unique and interesting but it has some flaws that make their presence known.
Now we move on to the story. The plot of Final Fantasy XIII takes place in a world known as Pulse and revolves around the story of the fal'Cie mechanical beings with godlike power created by a being called the Maker. Each fal'Cie has crystals residing inside them People who are marked by the fal'Cie are called l'Cie. Each l'Cie has a Focus, a goal the fal'Cie wants him or her to fulfill within a certain amount of time; however, the fal'Cie do not explicitly say what the goal is: l'Cie learn what their Focus is by interpreting visions that are given to them. L'Cie may also gain the ability to summon an Eidolon, monsters who fight with the l'Cie. However, if a l'Cie dies before completing his or her Focus, fails to tame his or her Eidolon, or fails to complete his or her Focus within a set period of time, he or she becomes a monster known as a Cie'th .If a l'Cie does complete his or her Focus, the reward is not much better: permanent transformation into a crystal. For this reason, being chosen as a l'Cie is seen as a curse. Can you tell that I copy pasted that from Wikipedia? I was really subtle. Our protagonist, Lightning is the former sergeant of the Guardian Corps. She is on a quest to protect her sister, Serah.
She is basically Cloud Strife, or at least the Advent Children iteration of him given they made him a total angsty puss. FFXIII's director, Yoshinori Kitase says that Lightning was not designed to be a female Cloud Strife and their only similarity is that they are both soldiers and she's more fragile than Cloud. I contest this by saying that Lightning doesn everything within her power to not be seen as fragile and comes of as a cold, aloof, bitch. She has a total disconnect with the rest of the cast and is written to be more brooding than Cloud Strife and Squall Leonheart combined. Cloud Strife is an incredibly confused and fragile protagonist, given he doesn’t have a real understanding of who he is and has taken on Zack Fair's life as his own.
He faces real adversity and in fact brought some it on himself when he took on Zack's burdensome memories of Sephiroth and the "destruction" of Nibelhelm. But the difference between Cloud Strife and Lightning is this, Cloud mans the F$&* up! He casts his problems aside to protect the people close to him and save the world from immanent catastrophe. Tetsuya Nomura turned Cloud Strife into a parody of what he was in that original game I loved so much as a 10 year old, a emo angsty buttercup who clutches his hand to his dick and says "Aerith, Sephiroth,Aerith, Sephiroth,Aerith, Sephiroth, SEPHIROTH, AERITH!"
Off of that tangent, the supporting cast is just as weak. Snow Villers is a wannabe Kamina who wants to stick it in Serah's Chrystal Chronicle, he also happens to be braindead. Hope aka Shinji Ikari is the token confused teenager who's all like "MY MAWM IS DED, I'll brood about it for 15 hours of gameplay then finally confront Snow who was only partially responsible." Someone on GameFAQs argued that "Would you want to confront someone after your mom died!?" in which I said "No, I would be crying like a baby for about 3 days rather than puting my head between my legs and going "THIS IS ALL YOOOOOUR FAULT, SNOW" without actually saying it. I would be very depressed for a very long time and then I would move on with my life, trying to cherish the memory of my mother. If you're willing to bring up a hypothetical question about one's parent dying to defend a video game, then you're a very unhealthy individual.
Guy 1: I don't care for Heavy Rain.
Guy 2: WHAT IF YOUR SON GOT KIDNAPPED AND YOU WERE SENT A MESSAGE TO CUT OFF YOUR FINGER!?!!? HMMMMMMMMM!?
Guy 1: I would call the police and be very worried about my son's well-being.
TEH EDN
Anyway, Vanille is a super genki girl who really ruins the mood with her positive attitude and bad voice acting. Now I know I argued that you can't be a brooding sourpuss forever but you also can't just smile your way through every situation...that's how you get an ulcer. Fang is incredibly hot and has an awesome accent. She is basically Sir Henry from No More Heroes. She and Vanille are lesbians.
Sahz Katsroy is the only likable and rational person in the entire game, bar none. He should have been the protagonist, without a doubt. We've had female protagonists, where's the BLACK PROTAGONIST!? SAY IT LOUD, I'M BLACK AND I'M PROUD!! Sahz is the mediator in a lot of high tension situations, trying to level everyone's flaring personalities and getting them back on track without being a hardass like Lightning is. He also happens to be voice by Reno Wilson aka The Black Baron MOTHERF&^%ERS!!! TIME FOR A SANCTUM CHALLENGE! It's a shame he boils down to being the comedy relief but this game really needed some comedy.
Now, this review is going to be a bit more professional than my usual fair. I've gone through about 4 drafts attempting to formulate my thoughts on Final Fantasy XIII and I've reached a conclusion. Final Fantasy XIII is the weakest entry in the series from a storytelling standpoint. I've been railing against XIII for about 3 years now, so my opinion may be a tad jaded but I gave it a fair shake. I put time into it, which was apparently insignificant given the obscene length of the game even against it's predecessors. 60+ hours in a video game is a bit of an undertaking, especially as a student but I'm a hardcore gamer. I won't let this casual generation of regenerating health and Revenge Meters get to me. I also realized I haven't written reviews for Bayonetta, NMH2 or Mass Effect 2 yet. I'll get on that!
Now anyway, back to FF XIII. From all of the professional publications that I've read, they aren't willing to give FF XIII the rating it deserves, a 6. Why? Because it prints money and game journalism is comprised of folks trying to line their pockets. Now what's really interesting about the game reviewing world is that almost every review I have read comes of absolutely negative and yet is given a 9 or an A- in the case of the once glorious 1Up that has slowly become a cesspool of corruption. Reviewers are willing to cast aside the one thing they have, opinions for capital. That's why the online reviewing is the last bastion for the gamer; they can get the truth because most of the reviewers aren't bound by money.
Sorry to come off a little heavy handed but as a veteran FF gamer, I'm outraged at how the industry works. If they smeared some of Nomura and Kitase's crap on the inside of the case and wrote FINAL FANTASHII SURTEEN, and then shipped it...they would have sold 1 Million copies anyway. FF is a brand, it's an institution all it's own, it prints money. So the good folks at Square-Enix who haven't made a good game since Romancing SaGa (and FFIVDS but that's just a remake) in my opinion, can slap together a mediocre game like Final Fantasy XIII.
The game is beautiful, the production values are through the roof but it falls short in a few departments. For one, the game doesn't trust you with the mechanics for a solid 20 hours. You play a tutorial for about 20 hours, learning the basics. Hey Square-Enix, I know it's a new battle system and all but you trusted me with FF XII's mess of a combat system. I think this is related to how games are very much pandered to a casual audience now. Having to unlock very hard, having your life regen, check points, etc. They made a JRPG on rails, essentially.
Now, I got goose bumps when the opening FMV played. I was really pumped in fact, but then everything began to get less than engaging. The battle system is solid but once you unlock the Paradigm Shift and begin to build stats, it becomes a matter of when do I shift to medic, when do I shift to commando or saboteur then back to medic while mashing X with Lightning. I've written some Faqs and have found exploits in most of the FF games that I could work to my advantage but the one thing that set them apart was that, I was in absolute control. I understand that you can choose options and auto-battle can be turned off but in that case, why have it on?
Also the basis for the battle system, this is rich. Based off of the fight scenes from Final Fantasy VII Advent Children, the game moves characters around the screen as the fight on and on. Lightning does some flips, Sahz does some gun kata, Vanille runs around like a school girl and the enemy will attack in between your ATB charging. If you enjoy the fight scenes in Advent Children, you must be a fan of motion blur and The Matrix Revolutions. My gripe with how the battle system is presented is that despite having movement with every action, you are still technically "static" in between turns. It's simulated Real-Time, stuff is going on in between attacks but the battles are still governed by an ATB bar. I enjoy the original ATB system but XIII is like a hybrid of X and Crisis Core's battle system. Crisis Core was real time however everything still had a cool down period. I think that XIII's battle system is unique and interesting but it has some flaws that make their presence known.
Now we move on to the story. The plot of Final Fantasy XIII takes place in a world known as Pulse and revolves around the story of the fal'Cie mechanical beings with godlike power created by a being called the Maker. Each fal'Cie has crystals residing inside them People who are marked by the fal'Cie are called l'Cie. Each l'Cie has a Focus, a goal the fal'Cie wants him or her to fulfill within a certain amount of time; however, the fal'Cie do not explicitly say what the goal is: l'Cie learn what their Focus is by interpreting visions that are given to them. L'Cie may also gain the ability to summon an Eidolon, monsters who fight with the l'Cie. However, if a l'Cie dies before completing his or her Focus, fails to tame his or her Eidolon, or fails to complete his or her Focus within a set period of time, he or she becomes a monster known as a Cie'th .If a l'Cie does complete his or her Focus, the reward is not much better: permanent transformation into a crystal. For this reason, being chosen as a l'Cie is seen as a curse. Can you tell that I copy pasted that from Wikipedia? I was really subtle. Our protagonist, Lightning is the former sergeant of the Guardian Corps. She is on a quest to protect her sister, Serah.
She is basically Cloud Strife, or at least the Advent Children iteration of him given they made him a total angsty puss. FFXIII's director, Yoshinori Kitase says that Lightning was not designed to be a female Cloud Strife and their only similarity is that they are both soldiers and she's more fragile than Cloud. I contest this by saying that Lightning doesn everything within her power to not be seen as fragile and comes of as a cold, aloof, bitch. She has a total disconnect with the rest of the cast and is written to be more brooding than Cloud Strife and Squall Leonheart combined. Cloud Strife is an incredibly confused and fragile protagonist, given he doesn’t have a real understanding of who he is and has taken on Zack Fair's life as his own.
He faces real adversity and in fact brought some it on himself when he took on Zack's burdensome memories of Sephiroth and the "destruction" of Nibelhelm. But the difference between Cloud Strife and Lightning is this, Cloud mans the F$&* up! He casts his problems aside to protect the people close to him and save the world from immanent catastrophe. Tetsuya Nomura turned Cloud Strife into a parody of what he was in that original game I loved so much as a 10 year old, a emo angsty buttercup who clutches his hand to his dick and says "Aerith, Sephiroth,Aerith, Sephiroth,Aerith, Sephiroth, SEPHIROTH, AERITH!"
Off of that tangent, the supporting cast is just as weak. Snow Villers is a wannabe Kamina who wants to stick it in Serah's Chrystal Chronicle, he also happens to be braindead. Hope aka Shinji Ikari is the token confused teenager who's all like "MY MAWM IS DED, I'll brood about it for 15 hours of gameplay then finally confront Snow who was only partially responsible." Someone on GameFAQs argued that "Would you want to confront someone after your mom died!?" in which I said "No, I would be crying like a baby for about 3 days rather than puting my head between my legs and going "THIS IS ALL YOOOOOUR FAULT, SNOW" without actually saying it. I would be very depressed for a very long time and then I would move on with my life, trying to cherish the memory of my mother. If you're willing to bring up a hypothetical question about one's parent dying to defend a video game, then you're a very unhealthy individual.
Guy 1: I don't care for Heavy Rain.
Guy 2: WHAT IF YOUR SON GOT KIDNAPPED AND YOU WERE SENT A MESSAGE TO CUT OFF YOUR FINGER!?!!? HMMMMMMMMM!?
Guy 1: I would call the police and be very worried about my son's well-being.
TEH EDN
Anyway, Vanille is a super genki girl who really ruins the mood with her positive attitude and bad voice acting. Now I know I argued that you can't be a brooding sourpuss forever but you also can't just smile your way through every situation...that's how you get an ulcer. Fang is incredibly hot and has an awesome accent. She is basically Sir Henry from No More Heroes. She and Vanille are lesbians.
Sahz Katsroy is the only likable and rational person in the entire game, bar none. He should have been the protagonist, without a doubt. We've had female protagonists, where's the BLACK PROTAGONIST!? SAY IT LOUD, I'M BLACK AND I'M PROUD!! Sahz is the mediator in a lot of high tension situations, trying to level everyone's flaring personalities and getting them back on track without being a hardass like Lightning is. He also happens to be voice by Reno Wilson aka The Black Baron MOTHERF&^%ERS!!! TIME FOR A SANCTUM CHALLENGE! It's a shame he boils down to being the comedy relief but this game really needed some comedy.
Although I should make it clear that Sahz is made into a more endearing character as the story progresses, it's a bit too late. His kid is dead or something....
I have this crazy rule that in a story driven title that is about 60 hours long, I have to like the characters to delve deep into it. Sahz is the only one in the group that I like. Being voiced by The Black Baron explains it all in fact. Also he has a frocobo and a frilly racecar mount. Cid Raines is also awesome. Jihl is my waifu.
Another point thing about the mechanics, The Crystarium especially. They're very reminiscent of Final Fantasy X's sphere grid. Leveling core abilities and stats, the stats like Agility, Def, Int, etc have been removed and they only focus on the core abilities of HP, Strength and Magic.
The game has some parts that make it stand out above the crowd but it's a bit of a let down in my opinion. Now standing as the fastest selling FF game with 1 Million in it's first business week it shows that people were hungry for a Square-Enix game, it'd didn't matter if it was a good one.
Final Fantasy XIII gets a 6.5/10 from me. Also Leona Lewis sucks, now I'm just trolling.
.
I have this crazy rule that in a story driven title that is about 60 hours long, I have to like the characters to delve deep into it. Sahz is the only one in the group that I like. Being voiced by The Black Baron explains it all in fact. Also he has a frocobo and a frilly racecar mount. Cid Raines is also awesome. Jihl is my waifu.
Another point thing about the mechanics, The Crystarium especially. They're very reminiscent of Final Fantasy X's sphere grid. Leveling core abilities and stats, the stats like Agility, Def, Int, etc have been removed and they only focus on the core abilities of HP, Strength and Magic.
The game has some parts that make it stand out above the crowd but it's a bit of a let down in my opinion. Now standing as the fastest selling FF game with 1 Million in it's first business week it shows that people were hungry for a Square-Enix game, it'd didn't matter if it was a good one.
Final Fantasy XIII gets a 6.5/10 from me. Also Leona Lewis sucks, now I'm just trolling.
.
Mar 3, 2010
INSTANT GAME REVIEW Pt. II
Dante's Inferno = Lucifer's manbits
This has been part II of Luis H. Garcia's INSTANT GAME REVIEW.
Enjoy!
This has been part II of Luis H. Garcia's INSTANT GAME REVIEW.
Enjoy!
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