This review was originally going to be about Metal Gear Solid 4, but I realized that would make me get all serious and sentimental because I take that game very seriously. If marrying a video game would be legal or even possible, I'd probably have proposed to the game the very first time I set my eyes on it.
So the good news is, I'm still young, handsome and available. Except, I'm not really that young anymore.Nor am I the most photogenic person in the history of photography. And I've to go play MGS4 later tonight because it's the weekend.
Hellooooo Ladies
WORLD HEROES: THE CHOMBOE REVIEW
by Badmash and Lordy
Graphics by Crayola
B: I can't forget watching this game at the arcade when I saw it for the very first time. "It's a new edition of Street Fighter II" I thought, because M.Bison had extendable ligaments and could shoot missles. I personally thought that was a pretty awesome upgrade to Bison.
L: You know, back when there was a huge crowd around the Street Fighter II machine at the arcade (remember those?) I was always eager to try new fighting games. Any fighting game that came out, I was there. I didn't have much money to spend, so I'd wait until nobody was around to play each game maybe a couple of times against the computer and watch people with more quarters play each other. I gave World Zeroes waaaaaaay more than the benefit of the doubt. And I still thought it was terrible.
B: Is that because the difficulty level in World Homos was way beyond stupid? The SNES version gave my thumb a heart attack because - my fault - I was trying to do a Dragon Punch. And little did I know the DP motion in that game was D, DF, D, B, U, 360, F, D/F.
So if I have to ask you - what is that one thing that really made you go spend 2 quarters on World Emos - what would that be?
L: Ummm, what was it that made me spend my 2 quarters on WH? A) The fact that I was fighting game crazy at the time and B) the fact that the machine was ALWAYS open. That's it. Honestly. I'd rather play a game called World Emos, although come to think of it the Iori team vs the New Faces team in KOF 98 comes close enough.
L: You know, back when there was a huge crowd around the Street Fighter II machine at the arcade (remember those?) I was always eager to try new fighting games. Any fighting game that came out, I was there. I didn't have much money to spend, so I'd wait until nobody was around to play each game maybe a couple of times against the computer and watch people with more quarters play each other. I gave World Zeroes waaaaaaay more than the benefit of the doubt. And I still thought it was terrible.
B: Is that because the difficulty level in World Homos was way beyond stupid? The SNES version gave my thumb a heart attack because - my fault - I was trying to do a Dragon Punch. And little did I know the DP motion in that game was D, DF, D, B, U, 360, F, D/F.
So if I have to ask you - what is that one thing that really made you go spend 2 quarters on World Emos - what would that be?
L: Ummm, what was it that made me spend my 2 quarters on WH? A) The fact that I was fighting game crazy at the time and B) the fact that the machine was ALWAYS open. That's it. Honestly. I'd rather play a game called World Emos, although come to think of it the Iori team vs the New Faces team in KOF 98 comes close enough.
Man, you're right about the controls in that game being awful. I was a pro at SNES SFII, but I couldn't do ANYTHING in World Heroes. That's why I just picked Dragon all the time. Wanna know Dragon's awesome re-dizzy combo? Mash on the punch button. Seriously. He does this kind of hundred hand slap move. You knock your opponent down in the corner, stand on top of your opponent and hammer on the punch button until the round is over. That just goes to show you how poorly the game is put together. (SNES onlay) Mashing on one button gets you an infinite chomboe.
The worst thing about the controls though IMO was the fact that the weak punch and the strong punch were mapped to the SAME BUTTON. Tapping the button gave you a jab and pressing it longer gave you a strong punch. Yuck. Unplayable.
B: Oh my GAWD, why did you even have to bring that up. I'm so upset now, I won't even talk about how awesome the Death Match mode was - because it was like 0.00007% awesome.
I'd happily forgotten all about those sucky controls.
Good God.
That's it, Topic over.
L: Hey! I didn't even get to talk about the music. It's possibly the most irritating thing about the game. It's just really simple synthesizer stuff, but it's super loud and completely tuneless. Or rather, it does have a tune, but it seems to have been scientifically composed in order to annoy. Imagine somebody took about 5 different alarm clocks with different sounding buzzers and got Carrot Top to play a polka on them. So not only do you have to struggle with these horrible controls, and play these characters that look like slightly melted dollar store action figures, you have this nauseating noise drilling through your eardrums the whole time.
I'd happily forgotten all about those sucky controls.
Good God.
That's it, Topic over.
L: Hey! I didn't even get to talk about the music. It's possibly the most irritating thing about the game. It's just really simple synthesizer stuff, but it's super loud and completely tuneless. Or rather, it does have a tune, but it seems to have been scientifically composed in order to annoy. Imagine somebody took about 5 different alarm clocks with different sounding buzzers and got Carrot Top to play a polka on them. So not only do you have to struggle with these horrible controls, and play these characters that look like slightly melted dollar store action figures, you have this nauseating noise drilling through your eardrums the whole time.
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Alarm clock polka. That's right. LIKE IT.
4 comments:
Is that Carrot Top? What the hell happened to him?
apparently his pants refuse to stay on.
Creotin? More like Carrotin! AHAHAHAAHA! Seriously though, ripped Carrot Top looks even more disgusting than regular Carrot Top.
pants refuse to stick on, apparently
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