The almighty ALLULAR has something to say.

I love the descendents... Anyways, who wants some over opinionated reviews?

Having plastic is awesome, and it makes life so much easier. I should have BEEN had that shizzle SON. My lazy, hispanic ass finally took a break from siesta napping, and finally took some GODDAMN initiative.

I've been slowly drifting away from current gen gaming, getting lost in retro gamings super awesome fog.

Games in review:

Tobal No.1 : this is a squaresoft fightn gaem. It's not half bad for a 12 year old game either. Having akira toriyama designed the game... Makes it even better to me. It's like an easier, more fluent virtua fighter, with less moves. But whatever, it's the first of a two game series. It's nostalgic as hell, and it's pretty fun. Moving at 60 fps is definitely impressive for it's time.

The music is decent too, kinda catchy...

It's the final fantasy vii demo that came with a free game. For 14 bucks on ebay.

7/10

Mortal Kombat Trilogy: wwooohhwwwhheee, N64 version. It plays better than their current ps2/ps3/xbox live ports. But with the limitations cartridges had, you also get extreme graininess, and midi music. It's good ol' retarded MK gameplay we're all familiar with. The secret KODES could've been better. It's ok overall, it holds senimental value to me because it was one of my 1st N64 games evvveeerrr.

6/10

All six AKI wrestling games: pure )+-?!!ing awesome.

John Rambo/ Judge Dredd

Fixing my PS2 to play tobal: sucks. I hate that laser the ps2 has....

Not so instant game reviews and other stuff too (The other stuff being Dragonball Evolution)

Hey everyone, Tokaro here and ready to rock. Time to review some stuff! Yeah!

......I don't have anything to REVIEW!! OH MAY GAAAAAAAH! What am I gonna do!? Okokok....what did I do this week! I'll review this WEEK! YEAH!

Dragonball Evolution: F***/10
Good Lordy 99 this movie sucks!! I wasn't expecting much from the antics of white Goku and white Bulma hanging out with Inspector Tequila to fight Spike from Buffy but y'know....I mean at least Speed Racer had.....man, anime movies suck! Well we can always remember good old Live action Guyver featuring Mark Hammil...and the sequel had David Hayter!



PWNisher: Wh*** Zone: WHAT!?/10
Ok....so Frank Castle punches a guy's head into dust! I began to cry with the kind of laughter that only Turkish Cinema and The Spirit bring about. He also shot a guy's face off. They did get the fact that Jigsaw is a total pisser and LBJ is the lamest character ever. EVER. Even World Heroes has better characters. And they have gay Inspector Gadget! This movie is worse than RAMBOWNED when it comes to the most unnecessary gore ever and I love gore. MadWorld is awesome! Seriously, his face SHOT off. And Newman is in this.



New Xbox 360 Bundle
7/10

Halo 3 and Fable II both kinda suck but it's a good sales idea.

Star Ocean 4 on PS3
http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=mm7fhf&s=5
6/10

Sucky game but meh, more JRPG's I guess.

MAHVEL on XBLA and PSN
10/120

PRINGLES ONLAY!!

The Spirit on Blu-Ray
4/10

Just as bad in HD.

That's all I've been up to kiddies. Also New Katamari and Fallout....and MAX PAYNE 3!!!

Life is ok.

My Judgment

C.VANIA JUDGMENT is by far the worst game I have ever played in my life.

It is the only game that has achieved the status of ONE MILLION PIECES AFTER SNAPPING THE DISC WITH MY BARE UNCLE.

Here is a comparison of the good, the bad and the ugly of this game-

+ Absolutely nothing

- Everything


Final score: Major stinkage / 10

A Fistful of $29.99

This is the first movie in the Clint Eastwood / Sergio Leone "Dollars" trilogy - three movies originally made in Italy and then re-dubbed in English (only Clint Eastwood, Lee Van Cleef, Eli Wallach and a fistful of others were actually talking in English) and released for the US market during the 1960s.

Synopsis
I fell asleep at least three times during this movie, but from what I gather, it was something about two Hispanic gangs going at each other, and Clint playing the role of the guy who'd do spying jobs for both gangs and earn a lil $$$ on the side.

Well, it so happens that things get ugly when Clint pushes one of these gangs too far by letting his emotions get in the way. As a result, this gang now gets angry and wants to nail him. He gets beat to a bloody pulp, but manages to escape and is now on the run.

Long story cut short: the angry gang totally destroys their opponent gang, and Clint comes back from the shadows for retribution / revenge / to open a can of whoop ass.

Best parts
- Close-ups of Clint's beady lil eyes. Gives him an intense X-TREME COWBOY look.
- The awesome 6 on 1 shoot-out. This is where Marty McFly (Back to the Future 3) gives an excellent tribute to Clint Eastwood.
- Clint is a quick-drawing SOB. Bang bang bang! Nothing will ever be cooler than that.
- I was pretty glad this movie finally got over because it was pretty boring.

Score and Recommendation
5/10 - Don't bother watching it unless you're a Clint Eastwood fanboy like me.

Well, you can always search YouTube for the scene where he wants the bad guys to say sorry to his mule. That was the best scene in the entire movie and a classic.

south park n64 review in a few words.

two versions of this game came out. the N64 version looks better than the PS1 version. it's also PLAYABLE with the BOBBYBIRD master cheat.

blah.

it was stupid cheap though, so i can deal.

F for effort.

INSTANT NON-GAME REVIEW

DOA BEACH VOLLEYBALL = 3D INTERACTIVE SCREEN SAVER

This has been Luis H. Garcia's instant non-game review.

Enjoy!

holy crap, i feel 11 years old again...

so i pulled out the old N64, and started playing some old carts that i enjoyed as a kid. i popped in snowboard kids, and decimated the ENTIRRREE game in less than a day. (it's not a hard game btw.)

i'm super OCD, and i pop in carts left and right, and i'm playing flying dragon, some US AKI wrestling games, (all 4 of them if you don't count the 2 japanese releases.) the two goemon games, snowboard kids 2, star wars : shadows of the empire, ssb, and mega man 64.

i'm left with the urge to feel something more. so i go to ebay, and buy almost every game i used to own on the 64, for DIRT cheap, plus some other ones that i always wanted to check out. let's call this the N64 series of reviews, where i start with whatever cart i have in my collection that i think highly about, and will share my thoughts on why i think it's great.

so i went on ebay and ordered the following:

virtual pro wrestling 64
virtual pro wrestling 2
mortal kombat trilogy (for teh lulz, this was one of my first N64 games ever, and i prefer this over the PS1 version)
mischief makers
south park (for teh lulz, got this with LoZ : OoT christmas of 98)
the legend of zelda : OoT
the legend of zelda : makora's mask
Mega Man 64 (i have a JP version that i can't play... i wonder why??)

some accessories as well :

one new controller ($^*$ing purple FTW!!)
expansion pak

so the first game on my list is VPW2.

it's the first game i recieved, and that cart came the land of the rising sun, all the way to my place in jersey in practically no time.

i'll make this informative as possible, i'm still trying to navigate through the menus and whatnot.

this game is absolutely amazing. a wrestling fan's dream, the perfect 3-d wrestling game. 100 wrestlers from different promotions, you have cats like hayabusa, the great muta, big van vader, giant baba, and kenta kobashi. you also got shoot fighters (aka cage fighters) thrown in the mix. this is basically a mixed martial arts/ wrestling sim.

the controls are standard and work perfectly, as does every aki wrestling game ever released on the n64. it's simple, yet complex enough to really pull you in, and it's equally rewarding to the player. it ditches the glitz and glamour of the WWF/WCW games that were released in the US, and focuses on the JP mindset of professional wrestling..treating it as an actual sport, than a sideshow. it almost feels like i'm playing a sports game, but a really awesome one.

it's got arenas based on real japanese locations a prime example of this is the budoukan.

the audio track are mixed, when you're using the licensed wrestlers, you get their themes and everything. but when you use other wrestlers, you get that generic, midi rock crap that aki abuses.

the sound effects are great, from bodies hitting the canvas, to every slap, punch, slam and grunt...it's all there.

it's got an AWESOME season mode, an AWESOME create a mask mode, and an AWESOME edit mode, almost as good as fire pro wrestlings... you can make almost anybody. the movelists are near endless, having moves that never appeared on the US releases.

just $%#^ing play it, if you appreciate wrestling games, and want to play sadly, the best ever 3-d wrestling game in existance, get a 64 off of ebay, or get a hold of an emulator, and enjoy.

100/100

INSTANT GAME REVIEW

SUPER MARIO GALAXY = SUPER MARIO 64.......IIIIIIIIIIN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCEEEEEEEEE!

This has been Luis H. Garcia's instant game review.

Enjoy!

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

After having been through the first half of The Good, The Bad & The Ugly, it was nightmarishly impossible for me to wait for another 12 hours till I finally got to sit through the second half. What a great movie. Not for a second did I feel that it was actually made in 1968, like 10 years before I was even born.

The Good: Clint Eastwood chewing on a thin cigar during extreme close-ups of his beady little eyes.

The Bad: This movie makes 1 million other movies look really bad.

The Ugly: Brokeass Mountain

Score: 10/10 including top-tier OST

Watch it ASAP, guys.

Mash


P.S. Next time -> Wii reviews for Super Mario Galaxy, Red Steel, No More Heroes, and how I wish I had a PS3.

Valkyria Chronicles

The best game i have played since Dead Space, and Dead Space was REALLY awesome.

NOT-SO-INSTANT GAME REVIEW

EAT LEAD: THE RETURN OF MATT HAZARD = ROFLRFOLROFLROFLROFLROFL

Yes. It's that funny. Go play it right now!

This has been Luis H. Garcia's not-so-instant game review.

Enjoy!

INSTANT GAME REVIEW

ARCANA FART 2 = SLOPPY PORT......WITH LOLIS!

This has been Luis H. Garcia's instant game review.

Enjoy!

i've been sick for a few days, and it's giving me a lot of time to kill..

before i play another show at some seedy drunken bar again.

i've been wasting most of my time, pulling out the ps2 for the 300th time.

there's a reason for this actually, i just got a pack of suh-weet DVD-Rs from J&R music and computer world for like 12 bucks.

anywho, i've been looking around for pirate's booty, (no *** jokes)

i've gotten a few games.. after watching mortal kombat THE LIVE ACTION MOVIE. i was compelled to play some old and newer games from that franchise. i got shaolin monks, and i've been playing it quite a bit, when i played this game in '05 i wasn't really into it. but aside from all the stupidity regarding the story, CG scenes, and voice acting, the game is tons of fun. i'm surprised that i couldn't tell the difference between crap and fun back in '05.

what's amusing to me is that this game takes place in the MK II era, which coincidentally is my favorite MK game ever, and the most memorable of all 9000 games that have been released after it.

it's not a sluggish game, it's pretty fluid and responsive, the over the top violence, and techniques are really satifying. it's pretty deep too, mechanics wise. i'm not through with it, so far i've slaughtered a few characters.

but so far, so good. it's a pretty rad game, even if you're not a fan of the series and look at the game as some cheap ass over the top kung-fu flick (for me black mask comes to mind.) you can't deny the feeling you get when your enemy turns into bloody chunks of meat when a boulder or a barrage of spikey !@$# connects with him. it's co-op which is cool, and it has an unlockable arcade perfect conversion of MK 2. AWESOME!? yes it is.

you may think that i'm praising the MK games, though, they really don't warrant any merit when it comes to it's fighting system, and gameplay decisions, but all that crazy BS the series is known for is what kept me a bit interested in the series. i mean, the last two MK games had friggin' death traps, and that's !@#$@#$%ing awesome.

it's crap like that which makes MK appealing to me IMO.

i got some other stuff to that i haven't got around to trying out, but once i start feeling better, i'll probably forget that i even had all this stuff.

INSTANT GAME REVIEW

MK vs. DC = BANKRUPTCY

This has been Luis H. Garcia's instant game review.

Enjoy!

so i like to do music.

myspace.com/panthersvswolves

check it out.

we have a vid from the last show we played which was this past saturday.

it ruled.

i was totally drunk.

quickie reviews:

just got these within the span of a week.

thought i might share them with you,

first off:

BLACKBERRY CURVE : after a few months without a functional cellular, i finally manned up and bought myself something infinitely better. i'm surprised this thing doesn't make pancakes.

5 john rambos out of 5

Battle Fantasia : got this at some import shop in NYC, popped it in, and to be honest i kinda dig it. the whimsical style may turn off a lot of people, but it's a pretty decent game. i love juggling the crap out of people though. and i noticed that the only people who play this game online are japanese.

B-

Street Fighter IV Fight Pad : oh, mad catz, you slick bastard. this thing improved my street fighter game by 400% it was worth the absurd amount of money i dropped for it. (don't ask how much i spent btw.)

The King of Fighters 2002 Ultimate Match : the mash is gonna love this one... maybe not, anyway i hated KOF '98 Ultimate Match with a passion. this was due to it's incredibly sluggish controls, and the fact that even with snazzy 3-d backgrounds and a more "modern" interface to boot, still made my genesis games look better. but fighting games are about playability amirite? well surprisingly enough, 2k2 UM is overwhelmingly responsive. they gave characters new moves, (terry has a new F, D, DF + P) the backgrounds are easy on the eyes, the amount of characters in this title make the amount of characters in MvC 2 look like you're only selecting 4 1/2.

it's a pretty rad game actually, and i'm enjoying it a bit. oh, they got rid of tetsuo and added this completely new emo shemale called "NAMELESS". plays just like tetsuo in some ways, and in some ways he doesn't. pretty decent actually.

SUNSOFT COLLECTION: i got this thing for waku waku 7. i never played galaxy fight, and i was actually surprised...it's playable, i don't like the fact that it's catered to a more "old-school" crowd. allow me to elaborate, no super meters, no shorts hops, dodging, walls. it's kinda simple, but it doesn't feel TOO awkward.

it's one of the better snk collections out there.

hell i would've gotten this for waku waku 7 alone.

it still rules.

*UCK FERNANDEATH.

So I got done reading Watchmen.

It's a great mini-series, and I'm onlay 29.99 years late.

Watchmen "decontructs" the super-hero genre by protraying all of the heroes in a very negative-ish light. They're men and women with flaws and vices, even if intentions are good imo. There are not even any villians in Watchmen: The heroes are enough.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Deconstruction

That's Watchmen to superheroes, full stop.

I don't get why everyone loves Rorschach so much. He's bat crap nuts.

But yeah, this series got me back into comic books. I'm going to have to check out Alan Moore's other stuff, like V for Vendetta and League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

BTW this blag poast is really just a bait to lure you into TV Tropes.

INSTANT GAME REVIEW

RE5 = RE4 WITH BLACK PEOPLE

This has been Luis H. Garcia's instant game review.

Enjoy!