Max Payne VS Hitman (not starring TOM CRAPPY)

Hitman, movie review
I'm not a big fan of the HITMAN videogame series. I remember playing BLOOD MONEY for a whole hour and not liking the experience at all.

The movie is no better either. The movie's only saving grace is Olga Kurylenko, who for some oddball reason strikes to me as quite appealing. But hey, not in this movie. In this movie, she looks like a junkie whom I don't want to know, ever.

Oh yeah, and Timothy Olyphant (who?) plays the character of HITMAN, AKA Agent 47.

Concept: Agent 47 didn't follow orders, so his agency wants to get him killed.
Action: They hire 400 bald extras.
Consequence: Agent 47 kills everyone.

Score: 4/10


Max Payne, movie review
I'm not a big fan of the MAX PAYNE videogame series. I remember playing THE FALL OF MAX PAYNE for a whole hour and not liking the experience at all.

John Cena is not Matt Damon is not Mark Wahlberg is MAX PAYNE are all lookalikes. This is another movie based on a similar videogame. With Olga Kurylenko.

(I swear, I only saw this movie for Olga Kurylenko.)

((Spoiler: she dies in like 10 minutes.))

(((Another spoiler: this movie dies in 20 minutes. )))

Concept: MAX is a quiet police detective secretly looking for his wife and baby's killer.
Action: The killer conveniently pops into the open after maybe 10 years of hiding.
Consequence: MAX kills everyone.

Score: 4/10