I hate DOA so bad

I don't understand how anybody can stand up for DOA. It's such garbage.

I have a friend who was playing DOA with an aquaintance of his who liked the game enough to learn it. He was trying to play it and he was getting waxed. He just started mashing and his win ratio shot up to 50% instantly. That shouldn't happen in any game, even if the guy wasn't all that good. Hey, remember when spamming CARTWHEEL in DOA3 made you unbeatable? Yeah, they fixed that in 3.1 or 3.2 or some ****, but that doesn't matter. The fact that something that dumb ever existed in the first place shows that the people who made DOA don't have a clue how fighting games work. And if they don't know how fighting games work, the rest of the game can't be any good either.

She kicks high

I remember some porridge-brains trying to tell me how AWESOME high level DOA play is. You know what? Every single match I've ever seen works like this: Both players are face to face, one guy tries throwing out a string, the other guy counters. If the counter works, they get face to face and try again. If the string hits, the dude gets the best damage he can (this is where the "skill" comes in: knowing your best damage option) and then they get face to face and try again. This is why the game is so random and why mashing works so well. The best move you can make is the most unpredictable one, ergo mashing.

Speaking of unpredictability, can somebody explain to me the logic behind the apparent hit levels in that game? Why do highs look like mids, lows look like mids, and mids can look like anything? Are they trying to make this game impossible to play?

Why is it that every time somebody is trying to tell us how awesome DOA is, they mention slow escape? One-hit stuns are a bad idea, so Team Ninja invents slow escape and that's supposed to be depth? It's not depth, it's a patch for a bad mechanic. It's a band-aid on a bullet wound. DOA fans should be EMBARASSED to mention slow-escape.

I just like the gameplay. Honest.

And what is wrong with the movement in that game? I get frustrated in Tekken because I can't move back as fast as I'd like. In DOA the frickin' backdash is slower than Tekken's backwards walking speed. What the hell? Moving forward is no problem at all though. Any pressing of the buttons shoots your character forward at jet speed. No wonder all the action takes place at point blank range. Seriously, does the concept of controlling space exist in that game? At all? Is there even such a thing as a poke?

Hey, you know what I really like in fighting games? Getting run over by cars."Here we are at point blank range, I'll try a string... oh crap, he beat me to the punch. I'll try a counter, since you can do those out of HITSTUN... it worked! Great! Now I'm staging a comeback! I'm going to win! Oh no, I got eaten by dinosaur, guess I have to lose now." Utter trash

DOA4: Now with 20% more breast implants!

Honestly, gameplay wise, the worst MK blows it out of the water. Yeah, MK is stupid and broken, and any high level play would revolve around abusing the stupid brokenness, but hey, at least it's consistent. At least at the end of the match you'd be able to say that one player is better at abusing stupid broken tactics better than the other one. What can you say about DOA? The winner was luckier. Frickin' garbage tier game.