Mass Effect and Me

when Mass Effect was riding the hype wave, i had no idea what it even was. i go through phases, you see. i will spend months at a time just not paying any attention to what games are in development or what games are coming out. i just totally detach from game related media and go back to the good old days of buying games based on BOX ART (which leads to the classic blunder of buying awful games).

cut to august of 2008. i get a brand new BrickBox360 and start looking for some games to expand my library. now, i had HEARD the name Mass Effect before, but i really did not know what the game was. i understood there was some sort of a CONVERSATION TREE mechanic in the game. i had a vague idea that it was some sort of an RPG. i was fairly certain it was IN OUTER SPACE or at least a really dark part of the ocean. long story short, it was 30 dollars so i bought it.

there is certainly a lot to Mass Effect. the character creation system is actually fairly robust. male or female, 3 x 3 backstory options, and 6 character classes. you can also customize the look of your character, but that was somewhat lacking. the hairstyles and beards were severely limited, and quite frankly, i don`t care for them. that is one small complaint i have with this game, and honestly it is one of the few.

Mass Effect is a game where you run around with 2 other AI controlled squad mates and shoot the crap out of dudes. you get experience points towards gaining a level, which then allows you to spend skill points in various areas to improve your character and learn new skills. the first time through the game i did not even know how to use the skills i was learning because i was not big on tutorials or PRESSING BUTTONS AND HOLDING THEM. as i got towards the end of the game, i was having an exceedingly difficult time in not getting blown to hell. then i actually learned how to access the skills and boy did they make things easier.

the skills range from classic buffs to your shields and attack power/rate as well as skills that would overheat enemy weapons, disable their shields, and even throw them against the son of a bitching walls. to access these powers you could assign one of them to a hot key, while the rest had to be accessed via a menu. the menu was accessed by holding the right bumper (it might be the left, i`m not a master of telling the two apart yet) and picking the skill you wish to use, as well as aiming the direction in which to use it from that menu. while you do this the action pauses, so it gets a pretty big thumbs up for that. one menu, easy to select the skill or check what it does, one button to fire it off, back to the action! it works well.

the weapons in this game were well done. rather than hassling the player with ammunition, the weapons have bottomless magazines. the catch is that weapons generate heat as they fire, and continued use overheats them, forcing the player to switch weapons or wait for the weapon to cool down. there are 4 weapon classes: pistols, assault rifles, sniper rifles, and shotguns.

pistols are totally bad acid because they fire super fast, are accurate, and generate fairly little heat. assault rifles i used to think were just grand, but i don`t even want to touch them anymore. they fire fast, overheat at a modest rate considering, but they are super inaccurate, even in short bursts. but when you gotta lay down some fire, i guess they get the job done.

sniper rifles and shotguns are similar while being different. they both overheat unreal fast. shotguns can usually get 3 to 4 shots off before overheating, while sniper rifles get 2 to 3. but at their proper ranges, they are really nice. the sniper rifle is incredibly hard to aim with at low skills levels, but once you get the hang of the sway and put some skill points into it, it comes out smelling like roses.

now, while any class can use any gun, they are not skilled in every gun. for example, my ALL TIME FAVORITE CLASS the Infiltrator is trained to use the pistol and sniper rifle. now, i can equip the assault rifle or shotgun, but i do not have any special abilities for the weapons, nor do i get the option to zoom for a more accurate shot. you are basically just shooting from the hip with weapons you are not trained with, and that ends up being a disaster.

the armors are super gay looking. they come in 3 sizes (light, medium, heavy) and not every class can use every size of armor. i think only the soldier class can learn to wear the heavy armor. some classes are stuck with light armor the entire game. each armor has 3 different statistics to think about: damage protection, shields, and biotic protection. the biotic attacks are essentially MAGIC. all of the armor is pretty much form fitting, and a lot of the colors are real homosexual looking. i`d say it didn`t matter because you aren`t looking at your dude all day, but you sort of are (the game has pretty long and regular load times in elevators where you just look at your dude all day).

i would talk some about the combat system, but it`s pretty straight foward to anyone who has played a third person shooter. you aim your gun at the dudes, and shoot them until they die. if you get shot too much, they win. i will talk about your AI partners though.

you get a good mix of squad mates to choose from. the squad has an overall rating you can view on the squad selection screen, broken into three categories. i like to find a balance between combat, biotic, and tech strength. and by balance, i mean it`s basically 60% combat, and 20% each of the others. i would talk at length about how this matters, but i have no actual idea. i do most of the work anyway, my squad is mad lazy.

your squad tries to help, but all they are usually good for is soaking up some damage so you don`t have to. there are squad commands to issue, but outside of "shoot that dude" they are all pretty useless. you tell them to hold position, but they simply don`t listen for very long. they occasionally get in your way, but it`s not a major concern.

nearly every mission you take on has you landing on a planet and driving around this super fly car called the Mako. now, when i read some reviews after playing this game for a bit, it seemed like everyone hated this thing. i didn`t mind it at all. the 3 major gripes i have with the Mako are 1) if you are on angled terrain (75% of it) you will have a hell of a time hitting anything with your weapons. 2) the shields take an unreal amount of time to recharge. 3) if you get damaged heavily, you often have to repair twice in a row, and you have to be totally still with everyone inside and just sit there and wait for like 10 seconds. none of these are deal breakers by any stretch, but i just can`t write about a game and not having SOMETHING negative to say.

i`d talk about the story, but i don`t really remember it. some douche was being a douche and sending robot dudes with flashlight heads all over the damn place and making me miserable. he turns into a big robo-skeleton at the end and you gotta bust his balls with extreme prejudice. then some big squid looking spaceship that is also a lifeform gets it`s balls busted by a bunch of other spaceships. oh, and there are big retarded aliens that look like they would be lazy.

this is already turning out way longer than i wanted it to, so i`m just going to wrap this stream of consciousness-esque review up by saying Mass Effect totally rocked by socked and i would give it a 9/10 for serious. i am considering adding it to my TOP 10 GAMES OF ALL TIME list as a matter of fact.