The PSN has some very nice things about it. It`s free to play games online, there are movies and stuff to download if you`re into that kind of thing, but there are also some real baloney sausage things about it. Such as the lack of demos. They release MAYBE one demo a week, and it`s never anything good. It`s almost always of a game that is already out. This week we got SOUL CALIBUR 4. I remember one week we got Dark Sector like 3 months after it came out.
Maybe it`s just me, but i think demos should be of games YET TO BE RELEASED. Back when i had a 360, XBAX LIFE would release tons of demos all the time of games that weren`t out yet.
Another thing that stinks are the videos of games they have available for download. I don`t need a dozen videos of MADDEN 09, i`m pretty sure i know what it looks like (Madden 08).
In closing, a demo version of MGS4 would have been nice so i would have known i didn`t have to buy it because it stinks past act 2. "THATS RIGHT, IT STINKS" -Rocky Balboa
Aug 28, 2008
Of Love and Hate
If anything bothers me the most about fighting games, it's SNK. It's as if they almost have the right idea going, but fall so short for reasons you can never really understand. I enjoy the KOF games. But at the same time, I think they're freakin' terrible, and for good reasons, too.
It's irritating because some of the character designs they have are rather nice and interesting, and the concepts they come up with are pretty good. But everytime they start to get the right idea going, they just take a huge crap all over everything and shove the game out while laughing the whole while. I mean seriously, an unblockable lk(Foxy 2k1)? How the hell does that happen?
How could you block it? She has a SWORD!
It's also interesting to know that SNK's own characters are awesome in CvS2, when they're being done by another company. Fantastic. It's as if a good SNK fighting game is totally doable, but they prefer to act like some bizzaro world Nike.
They're good at crushing your hopes, too. I really wanted SvC: Chaos to be good. I really did. I personally really liked Shiki's gameplay design, and now the only decent game with her in it is TERRIBLE. This has lead to an amazing mindset everyone should go by: Assume any fighting game by SNK that's coming out is going to be ABSOLUTE GARBAGE. That way if it DOES finally pull its head out of its own ass, you'll be blown the hell away.
But hey, miracles have been preformed in the past, and if someone can have an UMK3 tournament somewhere besides their mom's basement, anything is possible.
It's irritating because some of the character designs they have are rather nice and interesting, and the concepts they come up with are pretty good. But everytime they start to get the right idea going, they just take a huge crap all over everything and shove the game out while laughing the whole while. I mean seriously, an unblockable lk(Foxy 2k1)? How the hell does that happen?
How could you block it? She has a SWORD!
It's also interesting to know that SNK's own characters are awesome in CvS2, when they're being done by another company. Fantastic. It's as if a good SNK fighting game is totally doable, but they prefer to act like some bizzaro world Nike.
SNK: Just Don't Do It
They're good at crushing your hopes, too. I really wanted SvC: Chaos to be good. I really did. I personally really liked Shiki's gameplay design, and now the only decent game with her in it is TERRIBLE. This has lead to an amazing mindset everyone should go by: Assume any fighting game by SNK that's coming out is going to be ABSOLUTE GARBAGE. That way if it DOES finally pull its head out of its own ass, you'll be blown the hell away.
But hey, miracles have been preformed in the past, and if someone can have an UMK3 tournament somewhere besides their mom's basement, anything is possible.
Metal Gear Honor: Airborne Virus
the idea of leveling up your weapons as you use them sounded neato, but what that actually means is that every single gun blows big time for a long while. they also either take no time at all to level up (SMGs and auto rifles) or pretty much aren`t going to level up anytime soon (everything else). i did manage to level my handgun all the way up (it still sucks).
the new sniper system is almost good, but the PS3 controller has extra sensitive triggers, so it balls up more often than not. what you do is press the trigger in slightly to start SUPER AIM MODE, and the more you press the trigger in, the more accurate your shot will be. there is a very fine line between pressing the trigger in and firing, so it`s nuts. also, the baddest ass rifle in the game, the G34, turns into a sniper rifle at the highest level and then becomes a NO THANK YOU weapon. i hope the last level of the garand is "BREAK LAWS OF HISTORY" and lets you reload manually (preferably with a banana clip).
dropping in from the sky is pretty alright, except i always go for the SKILL DROPS, aka: DROP IN FRONT OF SOME BADGUYS AND THEN TAKE A FEW SECS TO TAKE OFF YOUR CRAP AND GET SHOT A LOT.
the enemy AI is actually sort of surprising. maybe it`s just real smart by ACCIDENT, but it sets up ambushes and flanks and stuff all the time. the allied AI on the other hand is very similar to Medal of Honor: Heroes in that they get in your way, refuse to kill enemies, and throw grenades at you a lot.
i am on the last mission, and it only took me about 4 or 5 hours to get there, so it is a pretty short game. i didn`t bother trying the multiplayer, because, lets be realistic here. who is playing Medal of Honor online right now?
i give this game a 7/10, it gets +1 for being Medal of Honor though, and i happen to have a huge boner for Medal of Honor games (except Underground, good lord that game is ass).
the new sniper system is almost good, but the PS3 controller has extra sensitive triggers, so it balls up more often than not. what you do is press the trigger in slightly to start SUPER AIM MODE, and the more you press the trigger in, the more accurate your shot will be. there is a very fine line between pressing the trigger in and firing, so it`s nuts. also, the baddest ass rifle in the game, the G34, turns into a sniper rifle at the highest level and then becomes a NO THANK YOU weapon. i hope the last level of the garand is "BREAK LAWS OF HISTORY" and lets you reload manually (preferably with a banana clip).
dropping in from the sky is pretty alright, except i always go for the SKILL DROPS, aka: DROP IN FRONT OF SOME BADGUYS AND THEN TAKE A FEW SECS TO TAKE OFF YOUR CRAP AND GET SHOT A LOT.
the enemy AI is actually sort of surprising. maybe it`s just real smart by ACCIDENT, but it sets up ambushes and flanks and stuff all the time. the allied AI on the other hand is very similar to Medal of Honor: Heroes in that they get in your way, refuse to kill enemies, and throw grenades at you a lot.
i am on the last mission, and it only took me about 4 or 5 hours to get there, so it is a pretty short game. i didn`t bother trying the multiplayer, because, lets be realistic here. who is playing Medal of Honor online right now?
i give this game a 7/10, it gets +1 for being Medal of Honor though, and i happen to have a huge boner for Medal of Honor games (except Underground, good lord that game is ass).
Aug 27, 2008
KOF issues, vol.2 "ROLLING"
The most groundbreaking revolution in 2D fighting gameplay is pressing A+B together in KOF. This will make your character ROll forward, backward, or directly across your opponent's character.
A few characters can't ROll, and instead they do a backflip, or a slide, or just plain suck.
YASHIRO doing a backflip because he's scared of CHOI.
Also because I couldn't find a single ROlling picture anywhere on Internet.com
ROlling began as a new gameplay feature in 1996 when KOF saw its third sequel, the aptly titled KOF*96 - which happens to be among the worst games ever made.
Basically, when you hit the A and B buttons together, your character does an evasive ROll, and can therefore avoid / not get hit by any attack, i.e. punches, kicks, fireballs, hand signals, and harsh language.
How to use ROlling in KOF
1. ROll to avoid fireballs
2. ROll to avoid RAMBO DANCE DUSTBINS, and GALACTICA PHANTOM
3. ROll to avoid jump-in attacks
4. ROll in and attack from 'the other side'
5. ROll in and throw
By following the above killer strats, a few really smart players discovered a bug: that doing mainly anything else in KOF is pretty useless.
But they forgot to discover a bigger bug: the one that's stuck up SKN's [bleep!]
Pro-Tip: On home-versions of KOF, press [A+B+L1+L2+R1+R2+SELECT+START] for maximum impact.
More like Whore Calibur 4
I thought Soul Calibur 3 was a great game, and overall Soul Calibur 4 is slightly better, but I think it should be better than it is. Being able to select different body types is huge, and the colouring system is way better. I'm a little frustrated by this game though because it could have been incredibly better with very little effort. So here's my list of my 5 pet Soul Calibur 4 peeves in ascending order:
5: Why do all the guys have to be gay? You basically have your choice between lace and frills or bondage gear. The male character creation system shouldn't be exclusively a fruit factory. I mean, I do want to be able to make some fruits, but I'd also like to be able to make guys I think look cool. You know how badly I wanted to have a Terry Bogard vs Hitler match? Impossible. Which brings me to no. 4...
4: Can we stop pretending that this is a medieval themed weapons combat game now? We have an S&M queen with a magic sword-whip, a goth teen with a sharpened hula hoop, Elvis and Bruce Lee's gene spliced clone with NUMBCHUCKS, some half demon thing with a sword shaped eyeball, and Ving Rhames with a wheat cutter. I tried to think of a funny way to describe Voldo, but he's too weird. Cenobite Scissorhands maybe? Anyway, instead of giving us 10 different hakama and 15 different ridiculous fantasy armours, could you have given us fewer of those and some other types of items instead? Maybe an ordinary long-sleeved shirt? Perhaps a pair of sneakers? Would that really be so out of place? A greater variety in the type of items would be really nice.
3: If you've programmed the graphics for something, can I use it how I want to please? It makes no sense to me that you can't wear the monocle AND the bandit mask at the same time, or that the ONLY way to get little knife belt on the thigh is to wear the effing stupid Jester pants. Maybe I want to wear the dancer's bracelets WITH the princess gloves. Why can't I? And on a related note...
2: More accessories. More categories for stuff. In SC3 there was a separate category for BELTS. I want belts back, but there's so much more. Accessories are super important and I want a different category for every single one. If you're going to program them into the game anyway, what's adding another item slot? The hard part is done already. I want bracelets, garters, necklaces, tattoos, masks, eyewear, scarves, capes, makeup, and BELTS, all of which already exist in the game in some fashion, only you're limited in how you can use them. Also I want earrings, nose rings, lip rings, every other piercing, hand bags, scars, anklets, rings, badges, halos, horns, bindis, arm bands, you name it it, I'd like it in the game. I know it's unreasonable to ask for everything you want, but come on. Maybe a just couple? At least the scars? Scars would be so kickass.
1: Can we have everything we used to have in SC3 back? I mean, I'd like to have BELTS back obviously, but there were other things too. Like two categories for each upper and lower wear, which was super handy. And you could change lip colour. And skin tone wasn't automatically adjusted towards looking natural (or not to the same degree.) And it didn't care if your items conflicted with each other, it just let you decide if it looked stupid. It's really frustrating when you want to do something you could in the last game but you can't in this one for no reason whatsoever. The game could actually do it with no extra programming, it's just that they removed the options.
Well, that's it. Could have been a much better game. I think I made some good suggestions, too bad there's a 0% chance Namco will read this. I just hope they run wild with DLC.
5: Why do all the guys have to be gay? You basically have your choice between lace and frills or bondage gear. The male character creation system shouldn't be exclusively a fruit factory. I mean, I do want to be able to make some fruits, but I'd also like to be able to make guys I think look cool. You know how badly I wanted to have a Terry Bogard vs Hitler match? Impossible. Which brings me to no. 4...
4: Can we stop pretending that this is a medieval themed weapons combat game now? We have an S&M queen with a magic sword-whip, a goth teen with a sharpened hula hoop, Elvis and Bruce Lee's gene spliced clone with NUMBCHUCKS, some half demon thing with a sword shaped eyeball, and Ving Rhames with a wheat cutter. I tried to think of a funny way to describe Voldo, but he's too weird. Cenobite Scissorhands maybe? Anyway, instead of giving us 10 different hakama and 15 different ridiculous fantasy armours, could you have given us fewer of those and some other types of items instead? Maybe an ordinary long-sleeved shirt? Perhaps a pair of sneakers? Would that really be so out of place? A greater variety in the type of items would be really nice.
3: If you've programmed the graphics for something, can I use it how I want to please? It makes no sense to me that you can't wear the monocle AND the bandit mask at the same time, or that the ONLY way to get little knife belt on the thigh is to wear the effing stupid Jester pants. Maybe I want to wear the dancer's bracelets WITH the princess gloves. Why can't I? And on a related note...
2: More accessories. More categories for stuff. In SC3 there was a separate category for BELTS. I want belts back, but there's so much more. Accessories are super important and I want a different category for every single one. If you're going to program them into the game anyway, what's adding another item slot? The hard part is done already. I want bracelets, garters, necklaces, tattoos, masks, eyewear, scarves, capes, makeup, and BELTS, all of which already exist in the game in some fashion, only you're limited in how you can use them. Also I want earrings, nose rings, lip rings, every other piercing, hand bags, scars, anklets, rings, badges, halos, horns, bindis, arm bands, you name it it, I'd like it in the game. I know it's unreasonable to ask for everything you want, but come on. Maybe a just couple? At least the scars? Scars would be so kickass.
1: Can we have everything we used to have in SC3 back? I mean, I'd like to have BELTS back obviously, but there were other things too. Like two categories for each upper and lower wear, which was super handy. And you could change lip colour. And skin tone wasn't automatically adjusted towards looking natural (or not to the same degree.) And it didn't care if your items conflicted with each other, it just let you decide if it looked stupid. It's really frustrating when you want to do something you could in the last game but you can't in this one for no reason whatsoever. The game could actually do it with no extra programming, it's just that they removed the options.
Well, that's it. Could have been a much better game. I think I made some good suggestions, too bad there's a 0% chance Namco will read this. I just hope they run wild with DLC.
Aug 26, 2008
The Legend of Fallout 2
Fallout 2 is not a very good game. The best part about Fallout 2 is that when i hit someone with my sledgehammer, i get to see if i can break the world record for a person skidding across the ground in slow motion.
While Fallout 2 isn`t very good, it isn`t very bad either. The main problem is that it starts out at SKN BOSS difficulty, and then like 15 minutes later it turns into EASY STREET. So the combat goes from "please let me get away" to "why does it take me 12 turns to chase down this blinded ALIEN?"
The game is basically based on the assumption you enjoy the save/load menu more than the game, because you end up spending a lot of time there. I am also glad they put 9,000 NPC`s in the game so 95% of them can have interesting things to say like GO AWAY and I LIKE TURTLES.
I also didn`t patch my game, so half my car went and got itself vanished. The half i have to click on to drive it. Good thing i left it in a pretty good spot relative to the rest of the map (i didn`t).
If i had to give Fallout 2 a score that wasn`t based on the GET FUZZY system, i would hand it a 6/10. Maybe it was a 7/10 when it came out, but let me tell you a story. I didn`t play it then.
Final word: don`t bother playing this game unless you want to be frustrated and swear a lot for a little while because you die every 5 seconds, and then be frustrated and swear a lot for a long time because you can easily beat 8 monsters or people at once, but once you start beating them up they run away and it takes you 9 months to catch them.
While Fallout 2 isn`t very good, it isn`t very bad either. The main problem is that it starts out at SKN BOSS difficulty, and then like 15 minutes later it turns into EASY STREET. So the combat goes from "please let me get away" to "why does it take me 12 turns to chase down this blinded ALIEN?"
The game is basically based on the assumption you enjoy the save/load menu more than the game, because you end up spending a lot of time there. I am also glad they put 9,000 NPC`s in the game so 95% of them can have interesting things to say like GO AWAY and I LIKE TURTLES.
I also didn`t patch my game, so half my car went and got itself vanished. The half i have to click on to drive it. Good thing i left it in a pretty good spot relative to the rest of the map (i didn`t).
If i had to give Fallout 2 a score that wasn`t based on the GET FUZZY system, i would hand it a 6/10. Maybe it was a 7/10 when it came out, but let me tell you a story. I didn`t play it then.
Final word: don`t bother playing this game unless you want to be frustrated and swear a lot for a little while because you die every 5 seconds, and then be frustrated and swear a lot for a long time because you can easily beat 8 monsters or people at once, but once you start beating them up they run away and it takes you 9 months to catch them.
Aug 25, 2008
KOF issues, vol.1 "JUMPING"
In any 2D fighting game, the most usual way to attack is by jumping into your opponent. You can do this by pressing UP & FORWARD together, commonly abbreviated as UP/FWD.
In KOF, the directions are reversed: to attack your opponent, press DOWN/BACK together.
Holding DWN/BCK like this is commonly called "turtling", but in KOF it's called "winning".
A typical example is of character GLAUCOMA SUCKALOTTY. If you want to attack, press and hold DWN/BCK and wait for your opponent to do something stupid. Which would be, like, anything. If your opponent jumps, you can press HP to counter. If your opponent rolls, you can just throw them.
"A weiner is me!" Glaucoma Suckalotty
In KOF, pressing UP/FWD will make your character jump straight up 90% and forward 5%. The remaining 5% is for sluggish response.
SKN programmers figured that, since there would be no way to fix the Jumping issue, they decided that there should be TWO jumps:
(1) a standard SUCKALOTTY high-jump, and
(2) a SHORT JUMP. Because this is obviously a platform game.
With the new short-jump, you can now do INFINITY CHOMBOES in a real easy way: choose KYO.
P.S. KYO is short for "I SUCK, YO!"
In KOF, the directions are reversed: to attack your opponent, press DOWN/BACK together.
Holding DWN/BCK like this is commonly called "turtling", but in KOF it's called "winning".
A typical example is of character GLAUCOMA SUCKALOTTY. If you want to attack, press and hold DWN/BCK and wait for your opponent to do something stupid. Which would be, like, anything. If your opponent jumps, you can press HP to counter. If your opponent rolls, you can just throw them.
"A weiner is me!" Glaucoma SuckalottyIn KOF, pressing UP/FWD will make your character jump straight up 90% and forward 5%. The remaining 5% is for sluggish response.
SKN programmers figured that, since there would be no way to fix the Jumping issue, they decided that there should be TWO jumps:
(1) a standard SUCKALOTTY high-jump, and
(2) a SHORT JUMP. Because this is obviously a platform game.
With the new short-jump, you can now do INFINITY CHOMBOES in a real easy way: choose KYO.
P.S. KYO is short for "I SUCK, YO!"
Aug 23, 2008
RPGs in 10 eZ steps
1. The main character should be a pre-teen who eventually leads an army of knights.
Balthier: Hey dud, you don't look like a pre-teen to me.
Ash: I guess this means he's not qualified to be our leader.
Vaan: Very funny you @#%$, but I'm not a guy.
2. The main NPC must be an excessively powerful knight when the CPU is playing him. But when he becomes playable, he loses all his powers and totally sucks. (Now you only use him to draw the boss' attacks.)
3. The healer carries a staff / wears glasses / carries a staff and wears glasses, and is the game's biggest pain in the butt to level up.
4. The final boss always has a healing part + a respawning part + an instant kill.
5. The world-map is an excuse to save and quit the game.
6. Remember, there's a HUGE difference between dungeons and random battles.
7. NOT!
8. The 'new engine' is the same old turn-based system, with different graphics.
9. Just throw in some beeps & boops, but make sure you write "music by Nobuou Uematsu".
10. Paint and paste a single-color image behind the logo of your game, otherwise it won't be an RPG.
11. Make sure the intro CGI is one billion times better than in-game graphics.
Balthier: Hey dud, you don't look like a pre-teen to me. Ash: I guess this means he's not qualified to be our leader.
Vaan: Very funny you @#%$, but I'm not a guy.
2. The main NPC must be an excessively powerful knight when the CPU is playing him. But when he becomes playable, he loses all his powers and totally sucks. (Now you only use him to draw the boss' attacks.)
3. The healer carries a staff / wears glasses / carries a staff and wears glasses, and is the game's biggest pain in the butt to level up.
4. The final boss always has a healing part + a respawning part + an instant kill.
5. The world-map is an excuse to save and quit the game.
6. Remember, there's a HUGE difference between dungeons and random battles.
7. NOT!
8. The 'new engine' is the same old turn-based system, with different graphics.
9. Just throw in some beeps & boops, but make sure you write "music by Nobuou Uematsu".
10. Paint and paste a single-color image behind the logo of your game, otherwise it won't be an RPG.
11. Make sure the intro CGI is one billion times better than in-game graphics.
New Super Mario Bros DS review
I impressed myself by managing to reach World 7 this morning on my way to work. This game isn't bad, except it still has the same Super Mario "issues" that force you to introduce your DS to a heavy brick, repeatedly.
The #1 "issue" with Super Mario World.
I need to introduce the SNES to a brick. Nao.
Kinda like MEGAMAN, Mario can now use different weapons (mushrooms). Like, he can catch a red mushroom to become Super Mario. Then he can catch a fire-flower to become the fireball throwing RYU Mario. He also chomps on a gold mushroom that makes him GODZILLA Jr Mario. Not to mention a tiny little mushroom that makes him HONEY I SHRUNK THE KIDS part-4 Mario.
Mario can jump from wall to wall now also like MEGAMAN. He also does an uncontrollable mean slide-kick that, well, kills him.
Like MEGAMAN, we have a forest stage, an ice stage, a lava stage, a cloud stage.
Mario can jump from wall to wall now also like MEGAMAN. He also does an uncontrollable mean slide-kick that, well, kills him.
Like MEGAMAN, we have a forest stage, an ice stage, a lava stage, a cloud stage.
And like MEGAMAN, the bosses are really lame.
Final score: NEW MEGAMAN BROS / 10
Final score: NEW MEGAMAN BROS / 10
Aug 22, 2008
360 is bad news
First the BRICK BAX 360 with its red rings of DEF, and now it's the blog-space called Yahoo!360.
I had to repeatedly punch in a blog entry and click on POST BLOG like 3 times to make sure that the stupid post gets posted. And now my Windows crashes everytime I open the Yahoo! 360 page.
More like FU!360.
End blog 23/08
I had to repeatedly punch in a blog entry and click on POST BLOG like 3 times to make sure that the stupid post gets posted. And now my Windows crashes everytime I open the Yahoo! 360 page.
More like FU!360.
End blog 23/08
The Dork Knight
"Great minds think arike!" Confused Clergyman
FINALLY!! The Mash has come back to http://ripcordgogger.blogspot.com
The truth is, I'm not the blogger-type, clearly! So I was telling CC to log into my blog and update it everytime he visits. Which he will be doing, pretty regularly. Like, once a year. At least. Starting 2099.
Ever since I got to hear that BUTTMAN THE DORK KNIGHT made it to #1 at the imdb.com top 100 movies ever made, I'm just not going to go watch this movie. I mean, come on, really. BATMAN? Anyone who knows BATMAN knows that the entire series is supposed to be a comedy, to give reasonably good actors a fair chance at making their worst ever performances!
I think DORK KNIGHT hasn't been released here yet. So that may also be a reason that I'm not watching it.
Speaking of movies, the last time we went to Cinepax - the cinema up in Rawalpindi (well, it was definitely there the last time we visited) - we had a lot of fun watching IRON MAN. We also watched the new HULK movie there, which wasn't bad either.
Okay, it was bad. But that's because I got stale popcorn. In an INDIANA JONES bag.
THE INCREDIBLE HULK SPOILER: I liked the part where HULK does The People's Elbow on THE ABOMINATION. He should've finished off with HULK HOGAN's leg-drop and then pinned him for the 3-count. That way ABOMINATION would be taking his vitamins and become a full-time Hulkamaniac in the next movie. Starring THE GAY KHALI as HULK. And BIG DADDY V as BRUCE BANNER.
Blog regular feature: MARVEL VS CAPCOM 3 update
Here are some suggested new moves for a probable MVC3:
- SPIDER-MAN takes off his mask and cries a lot
- HULK throws cars if you press P, and uses a chain if you press K
- GHOST RIDER sucks
- WOLVERINE will come in MVC4, which will have no other character
NOW PLAYING!
Peak Hateshinaku, Soul Kagirinaku [GLAY]
|
End blog, August 22 '08
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
