Judging from the preview videos and KONAMI's official press-articles, people were drooling over how awesome it would be for the main character SHANOA TWAIN to not have any weapons, and that instead of weapons, she would be using the glyph system. Getting to begin the game, I was guessing this would be something I'd never seen before.
10 minutes into the game -> Where's this new "system", and why am I still going into the same old equip / unequip menu for everything?
2 hours into the game -> So I guess I have no weapons now, but these "glyphs".. like um.. like a sword.. and a knife.. a rapier, an axe, a lance, basically everything that was there in the last 2 C.VANIA games. I guess the new "system" is that I should start pronouncing the word "weapon" as "glyph" from now on.
2 hours 10 minutes into the game -> CONTRA 4 was hard, but this game is simply tedious, annoying and frustrating. Because I have to switch weapons OOPS SORRY I MEAN GLYPHS every 5 seconds, because every single character in the whole game will have a different weakness. And the gameplay doesn't help because once again you get knocked into oblivion when hit during a jump. And if you're stuck "inside" a boss, or even a normal bad-dude, you get hit at least 4 times before you can manage to get away - and that equals to like 50-60% damage.
2 hours 12 minutes into the game -> I'm supposed to rescue the villagers and feel good about it, but here's what's really happening: everytime I save a villager or go talk to a villager, I'm skipping the dialogue and swearing at that villager IRL because i hate the way their faces are drawn. They all look sinister and evil, but SHANOA who's lost her memory is looking like the stupidest most ignorant character in the whole game who doesn't seem to know wtf is going on. Wtf KONAMI, are you trying to tell me that I'm stupid. Go stuff a VOL McMUFFIN up your glyph-hole.
3 hours into the game -> It's still like playing C.VANIA, only with crappy controls all over, like CRAPPYVANIA 1. I'm still constantly equipping and un-equipping weapons OOPS I MEAN GLYPHS, not to mention armor, headgear, boots and accessories. Where the [bleep!] is your [bleep!]ing "new system"?!
5 hours into the game -> Stupid enemy patterns, lousy controls and retarded AI. This is what's wrong with this game. The only new "system" I can see are the new characters, and better music & graphics. Aside from that, this game suffers from serious gameplay flaws, rushed programming, and very extremely bad game-testing, and is a severe disappointment as far as I'm concerned. I completely disagree with every single 8/ 9/ and 10/10 score it has got.
Last time I played it -> It's like playing MEGAMAN, but with swords and lances and hammers.
I mean GLYPHS.
Oct 30, 2008
Oct 25, 2008
NINTENDO SIXTY-FOOOOUUUURRRR
this is the only reason why i scoured the earth for a used N64. this problem could have been prevented had i not given away my original N64 to a friend later in my high school years, but unfortunately, i'm prone to make those mistakes multiple times, (i JUST got my ps2 back almost a year ago...after foolishly letting someone "keep" it.)
i got this N64 around the summer... and it was given to me with two controllers....nothing else. so when i had some extra cash to blow, i made my e-home at ebay, buying cartridges and other useful add-ons to my system, some of which included a memory card that i waited a month for, and having to order a totally new one because the one that was mailed to me crapped out a day after i recieved it. it was also a measly 123 pages....i decided to buy one with 4x the memory, and i've been super thrilled with it ever since.
the titles i ended up purchasing were:
- the mystical ninja: starring goemon
- goemon's great adventure
- wcw vs. nwo world tour
- wcw/nwo revenge (the guy i bought it off of eventually sent me another copy...i have two working copies of this game...neat.)
- wwf wrestlemania 2000
- wwf no mercy
- snowboard kids (in this case it was the japanese version, i bought it with a multi-region adapter for 35 dollars, no tax.)
- snowboard kids 2
- mega man legends (rockman dash in my case)
- star wars : shadows of the empire
- super smash bros.
- fighter's destiny
- hiryuu no ken (flying dragon)
the imports that i bought had ran me about 20 to 25 bucks each... not bad if i do say so myself.
i am currently looking for copies of virtual pro wrestling 64, and virtual pro wrestling 2....(VPW2 is the best 3-d wrestling game ever imho.)
i also have two controllers to play these suckers on.
it was like stepping into a time machine, and reliving my life as a 10-12 year old kid, remembering every song, input, path to these games..i was in awe, and this basically put my ps2 and DC on the back burner for a few months.
my reason for buying an N64 went as followed:
i was having a conversation with my brother about the good ol' days, he reminded me about the mystical ninja starring goemon, and i foamed at the mouth. this was an odd super japanese game that we both fell in love with 10 years ago, everything was great, the off-beat humor, the gameplay (which kinda resembles mario 64 and the ocarina of time), the plot, and the characters.
after a few hundred youtube videos later, i finally decided to buy an n64, SOLELY for goemon. but, after playing goemon, i found myself wanting to play the 2nd game in the 64 series, goemon's great adventure.. i ended up buy that, then i said to myself, "damn, i want to get all those game i always rented at blockbuster, but never actually bought..."
these titles were never bought due to cartridges being ridiculously bat-S*^% expensive, i remember MK Trilogy being 74 dollars when i bought it on christmas 1996. but now, since the system is long deas, and it's titles range from a few cents to about 40 dollars the most, it wouldn't hurt to finally buy all those titles that i always rented, but never bought.
the collection is not complete since i still need the following:
- chameleon twist 1 & 2
- clayfighter: sculptor's cut
- bomberman 64
- Virtual Pro Wrestling 2 (i played this on an emulator 3 years ago, and i've been looking for a reasonably priced cartridge of this for a few months...still no reasonble price.. :-( )
some titles that i owned on my 64 are on my wii, so i won't consider re-purchasing them.
to summerize this worthless pile of jargon:
n64 rules, even if it is a pain in the butt to re-locate every little add-on and hard to find cartridge. with my luck every game i ever loved was always an oddball game that you can't really find anymore.
- m
i got this N64 around the summer... and it was given to me with two controllers....nothing else. so when i had some extra cash to blow, i made my e-home at ebay, buying cartridges and other useful add-ons to my system, some of which included a memory card that i waited a month for, and having to order a totally new one because the one that was mailed to me crapped out a day after i recieved it. it was also a measly 123 pages....i decided to buy one with 4x the memory, and i've been super thrilled with it ever since.
the titles i ended up purchasing were:
- the mystical ninja: starring goemon
- goemon's great adventure
- wcw vs. nwo world tour
- wcw/nwo revenge (the guy i bought it off of eventually sent me another copy...i have two working copies of this game...neat.)
- wwf wrestlemania 2000
- wwf no mercy
- snowboard kids (in this case it was the japanese version, i bought it with a multi-region adapter for 35 dollars, no tax.)
- snowboard kids 2
- mega man legends (rockman dash in my case)
- star wars : shadows of the empire
- super smash bros.
- fighter's destiny
- hiryuu no ken (flying dragon)
the imports that i bought had ran me about 20 to 25 bucks each... not bad if i do say so myself.
i am currently looking for copies of virtual pro wrestling 64, and virtual pro wrestling 2....(VPW2 is the best 3-d wrestling game ever imho.)
i also have two controllers to play these suckers on.
it was like stepping into a time machine, and reliving my life as a 10-12 year old kid, remembering every song, input, path to these games..i was in awe, and this basically put my ps2 and DC on the back burner for a few months.
my reason for buying an N64 went as followed:
i was having a conversation with my brother about the good ol' days, he reminded me about the mystical ninja starring goemon, and i foamed at the mouth. this was an odd super japanese game that we both fell in love with 10 years ago, everything was great, the off-beat humor, the gameplay (which kinda resembles mario 64 and the ocarina of time), the plot, and the characters.
after a few hundred youtube videos later, i finally decided to buy an n64, SOLELY for goemon. but, after playing goemon, i found myself wanting to play the 2nd game in the 64 series, goemon's great adventure.. i ended up buy that, then i said to myself, "damn, i want to get all those game i always rented at blockbuster, but never actually bought..."
these titles were never bought due to cartridges being ridiculously bat-S*^% expensive, i remember MK Trilogy being 74 dollars when i bought it on christmas 1996. but now, since the system is long deas, and it's titles range from a few cents to about 40 dollars the most, it wouldn't hurt to finally buy all those titles that i always rented, but never bought.
the collection is not complete since i still need the following:
- chameleon twist 1 & 2
- clayfighter: sculptor's cut
- bomberman 64
- Virtual Pro Wrestling 2 (i played this on an emulator 3 years ago, and i've been looking for a reasonably priced cartridge of this for a few months...still no reasonble price.. :-( )
some titles that i owned on my 64 are on my wii, so i won't consider re-purchasing them.
to summerize this worthless pile of jargon:
n64 rules, even if it is a pain in the butt to re-locate every little add-on and hard to find cartridge. with my luck every game i ever loved was always an oddball game that you can't really find anymore.
- m
My Top 10 PS2 Games
As the PS2 slowly bows out (actually, it totally died 2 years ago, but fanboys like ATLUS and NIS apparently don't know that), this would be a nice time to make a list of the 10 best games I have played on what is easily my favorite console in 16 years of gaming.
METAL GEAR SOLID 2 SONS OF LIBERTY
This was the very first game I ever played on the PS2, perhaps 3 or 4 years ago. I had only recently finished playing MGS1 and didn't really find that to have been a memorable experience. In fact, I'd say MGS1 was overrated and blown out of proportion.
But MGS2 was fantastic, because (i) the caption "SONS OF LIBERTY" was the coolest thing I'd ever heard, and (ii) the game actually had graphics, as compared to the craptacular murky triangles of MGS1.
Plus the gameplay was rock-solid, this time around you got to look around corners, and the camera would zoom in without making a big green mess of your TV-screen. Plus SNAKE could roll around and stuff. The soundtrack could possibly not have been better.
This was the very first game I ever played on the PS2, perhaps 3 or 4 years ago. I had only recently finished playing MGS1 and didn't really find that to have been a memorable experience. In fact, I'd say MGS1 was overrated and blown out of proportion.
But MGS2 was fantastic, because (i) the caption "SONS OF LIBERTY" was the coolest thing I'd ever heard, and (ii) the game actually had graphics, as compared to the craptacular murky triangles of MGS1.
Plus the gameplay was rock-solid, this time around you got to look around corners, and the camera would zoom in without making a big green mess of your TV-screen. Plus SNAKE could roll around and stuff. The soundtrack could possibly not have been better.
"No, SNAKE, that's a barrel. It's not what you think.
He's holding a gun. No, not THAT gun!"
The only minus point would be having to play as JACK and talk to ROSE. Yuck. But I guess that's Hideo Kojima telling us that outside of the fluke that is MGS2, he's actually completely out of ideas.
METAL GEAR SOLID 3 SNACK EATER
This is the final official MGS game on the PS2. This time, we go back in time to play as.. no, not young SNAKE, but SNAKE's dad. Who happens to look exactly the same, sound exactly the same, and have the same name as the SNAKE we've come to know over the years. But SNAKE looks quite dashing with his rugged stubble and longer hair, and proceeds to completely rip off JAMES BOND.
Among the new gameplay features, you get to body-paint the chiseled soldier-boy and take off his shirt. Fun stuff, I guess. If you're a girl. Or [bleep!]ing gay.
More like 'Tootie Fruity' camo.
Let's face the truth: MGS3 is a frustrated teenager's wild babe-fantasy, with a bunch of music, graphics, gameplay, guns, bad guys, and complex storyline put around it smartly to camouflage it.
I'm not saying that's a bad thing.
RESIDENT EVIL 4
RE4 is the best suitcase-packing sim that I've ever played. It's also the only suitcase-packing sim I've ever played, because it's the only one anyone has ever made.
When you're not busy playing the main game i.e. packing your suitcase, you're working on the game's side-story: dishing out revenge on the distant cousins of the TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE badguys. I'm not sure if that sounds like fun for everyone, but hey, who said this is SUPER SMASH BROS?
On the PS2 version, you also get a bunch of extra-games after beating the main game once. Like for instance, you get to play as the mysterious ADA WONG. Which makes you wonder why she wasn't the main character. I mean come on, if you had a choice, who would you pick? The dude packed in a heavy bomber-jacket in the middle of a desert, or the babe in a thigh-baring red silk dress?
No, i m not posting NE pix of her, k? sry.
SHADOW OF THE COLOSSUS
Imagine you're playing CONTRA without a single bad-guy running around the stage. All you need to do is climb or run your way to the Boss, and fight him to proceed to the next stage.
Now imagine you're playing CONTRA, but you're on a horse.
Now imagine you're playing CONTRA, but armed only with a sword.
Now imagine you're playing CONTRA in super slow-motion.
Now imagine you're not playing CONTRA.
SILENT HILL 2
TOMB RAIDER ANNIVERSARY
ONIMUSHA
FATAL FRAME 2 CRIMSON BUTTERFLY
CAPCOM VS SKN 2
DEVIL MAY CRY 1 and 3
Oct 22, 2008
part time superstars give part time performances (the excellent review)
it's a shame, hardly anyone remember the greatness of bill & ted. they were one of the quintessential icons of the 80's (alongside the ninja turtles, ghostbusters, he-man and the masters of the universe.) it was everything an 80's should be.
the bill & ted movies remind us that if we're ever caught in a bind, all we need to do is travel through the past via telephone booth, and all of our problems will be solved.
san dimas california, 1988, bill and ted are about to flunk history. this is very eminent in how they answered their teacher's questions. " WHO WAS JOAN OF ARC?" and ted responds "uhhh, NOAHS WIFE?" braindead humor at it's finest. our protaganists are looking to form a hard rock band in vein of bands like van halen, twisted sister, poison, practically any glam/hair metal band you can think of.
the duo basically travels through time, collecting a myriad of historical figures including genghis khan, beethoven, sigmund freud, abe lincoln, socrates, billy the kid, napoleon, joan of arc (portrayed by one of the member's of the go-gos one of the only few women that i would have dirty dirty sex with.) and let's not forget the princesses (who eventually become the love interests of bill and ted.).
69 dudes!
oh, but there's history in the future, you see, fast foward to god knows what year it is. the band wyld stallyns are pretty much the reason for peace on earth, and in order to prevent their future from going into TIME PARADOX, rufus, played by george carlin, must travel back in time, to make sure that bill and ted pass their history report.
after some verbal disputes with ted's dad (a total douche, and who is also threatening to send him to an alaskan military school.) the booth appears and the two go on their second quest (i forgot to mention the test run in which rufus teaches bill and ted how to use the booth, they end up going to 1700 france, where they mistakenly pick up napoleon.)
throughout time, these important figures are being captured in order for bill and ted to eventually succeed in their history reports. after escaping death in the hands of a british king, messing up the antenna, fixing that same antenna with chewed bubble gum, and a huuuuuge shopping mall brawl, FINALLY ending with a sweet and clever escape scene from the holding cells in which ted's father works. bill and ted finally make it back to san dimas high just in time for their reports.
in true van halen fashion, their reports become a spectacle an arena rock concert of epic proportions. they pass their reports (obviously) and are seen jamming in their garage. finally we hear what wyld stallyns sounds like! but they suck, and not in a "oh my damn, this band is generic" bad, these poor guys don't even know how to play their instruments. rufus then comes back from the future, to hand bill and ted their mighty axes, rufus pulls of a sweet guitar solo (i forgot who the guy was who actually PLAYED the solo, i wouldn't be surprised if it was van halen, but i may be wrong.) and bill and ted and their new ladies live happily ever after.
"they get better."
this movie is awesome because it's a great blend of comedy, that valley dude stupidity, rock n' roll, parts that just make you wanna go "aaaww", missy, uh i mean mom, 80's nostalgia up the @$$.
it's great, and i'm surprised a lot of people overlook this film, hell, even the effects aren't bad for it's time, and the music is great.
and this is the main reason why when we think of keanu reeves, we always think "woah.."
10/10
bogus journey review coming soon.
-m
the bill & ted movies remind us that if we're ever caught in a bind, all we need to do is travel through the past via telephone booth, and all of our problems will be solved.
san dimas california, 1988, bill and ted are about to flunk history. this is very eminent in how they answered their teacher's questions. " WHO WAS JOAN OF ARC?" and ted responds "uhhh, NOAHS WIFE?" braindead humor at it's finest. our protaganists are looking to form a hard rock band in vein of bands like van halen, twisted sister, poison, practically any glam/hair metal band you can think of.
the duo basically travels through time, collecting a myriad of historical figures including genghis khan, beethoven, sigmund freud, abe lincoln, socrates, billy the kid, napoleon, joan of arc (portrayed by one of the member's of the go-gos one of the only few women that i would have dirty dirty sex with.) and let's not forget the princesses (who eventually become the love interests of bill and ted.).
69 dudes!
oh, but there's history in the future, you see, fast foward to god knows what year it is. the band wyld stallyns are pretty much the reason for peace on earth, and in order to prevent their future from going into TIME PARADOX, rufus, played by george carlin, must travel back in time, to make sure that bill and ted pass their history report.
after some verbal disputes with ted's dad (a total douche, and who is also threatening to send him to an alaskan military school.) the booth appears and the two go on their second quest (i forgot to mention the test run in which rufus teaches bill and ted how to use the booth, they end up going to 1700 france, where they mistakenly pick up napoleon.)
throughout time, these important figures are being captured in order for bill and ted to eventually succeed in their history reports. after escaping death in the hands of a british king, messing up the antenna, fixing that same antenna with chewed bubble gum, and a huuuuuge shopping mall brawl, FINALLY ending with a sweet and clever escape scene from the holding cells in which ted's father works. bill and ted finally make it back to san dimas high just in time for their reports.
in true van halen fashion, their reports become a spectacle an arena rock concert of epic proportions. they pass their reports (obviously) and are seen jamming in their garage. finally we hear what wyld stallyns sounds like! but they suck, and not in a "oh my damn, this band is generic" bad, these poor guys don't even know how to play their instruments. rufus then comes back from the future, to hand bill and ted their mighty axes, rufus pulls of a sweet guitar solo (i forgot who the guy was who actually PLAYED the solo, i wouldn't be surprised if it was van halen, but i may be wrong.) and bill and ted and their new ladies live happily ever after.
"they get better."
this movie is awesome because it's a great blend of comedy, that valley dude stupidity, rock n' roll, parts that just make you wanna go "aaaww", missy, uh i mean mom, 80's nostalgia up the @$$.
it's great, and i'm surprised a lot of people overlook this film, hell, even the effects aren't bad for it's time, and the music is great.
and this is the main reason why when we think of keanu reeves, we always think "woah.."
10/10
bogus journey review coming soon.
-m
Love letter to Robotron
Old vs New
Games used to be different. Way back in time, way back in the early 80s, technology was primitive. There was simply not all that much they could do compared with the technology today. Processors were slow and memory contraints were severe. For example, the jpeg screenshot below is about 1/3 the size of the game it came from. You had 50k in which to create a game, program, graphics, sound, all of it. These severe restraints limited what they could do with the game, but they also forced developers to be really efficient with what they had. Every byte of data needed to do its job, and the concept behind the game needed to be solid or it was no fun at all. As a matter of fact, the idea behind a game was often it's distinguishing feature and some of those old games were quite inventive.
Of course, to a modern gamer, old games are all but unplayable. Graphics were crude and brightly coloured, the controls were unforgiving, the only sounds were bleeps and bloops, and the games themselves were usually extremely repetitive. The only reason you played was to see how high you could run the score. Incidentally, when was the last time you played a game that even gave you points? These old games were played because gamers liked the act of playing them. That seems to be a foreign concept to some modern gamers who want to watch a story and unlock things.
Games nowadays of course blow those early games out of the water in every respect. The graphics today are amazing, and the sound is perfect. A good modern game tells a story well and immerses you in a different world, something a game from the 80s could hardly hope to do. Yet there is something old games offer that new games don't. Old games were about getting good at them, not just walking through them. There's nothing like beating your own personal best in a game you love. Old games were about competing with yourself.
Enter Robotron
Although I'm old enough that I could in theory have played Robotron in the arcade, my mommy didn't like arcades because that's where all the big kids hung out and she didn't give me any quarters anyways. I got introduced to Robotron mainly through MAME. I have since bought a copy of Midway Arcade Treasures.
Robotron is perhaps the greatest pure action game ever made, unsurpassed even until this day. The concept behind Robotron is very, very simple. There are enemies. You shoot them. Saving members of THE LAST HUMAN FAMILY gives you bonus points. Where Robotron distinguishes itself is in the frantic pace of its gameplay.
If you can careful, maybe you're survival!
You're the little guy in the middle. You spawn in the middle of a level of enemies and they pretty much swarm you instantly and try to kill you. When you die, you re-spawn again in the middle, only the enemies you've killed remain dead. When you clear every enemy off the screen (except for hulks) you move onto the next wave. There are a variety of enemies. The grunts (red guys pictured above) who just run straight at you, the hulks (green guys pictured above) which just wander around but they're indestructible, brains which shoot guided missiles at you and turn family members into kamikaze zombies, spheroids which spawn legions of little dudes in grey hats that spit out projectiles of varying speeds and trajectories, and tanks which fill the screen with masses of projectiles that bounce off walls. Oh, and littering the field are mines, so watch where you step.
You are not defenceless. You basically shoot like a machine gun. The controls of Robotron were novel for its time. You had two joysticks. The left one moved you around, and the right one controlled the direction of fire. You also get a free life every 25,000 points.
It's not fair!
Robotron may be a lot of things, but fair it ain't. Sometimes the way you spawn guarantees a quick death. Sometimes a spheroid just flies straight into you intead of hiding in the corners like they usually do. Sometimes a hulk takes a random turn and blocks your only avenue of escape. Sometimes you'll swear the game is messing with your mind. The spheroids sometimes fire extremely slow projectiles that behave in effect like mines. You're expecting it to go past you but it doesn't and you end up backing into it or something. Sometimes the game is just going to kill you and that's all there is to it. Aside from all that, the game is just brutally difficult. You're being swarmed by grunts, the hulks are blocking your fire, and spheriods are shooting waves of projectiles at you from the corners. And those are the easy levels. Tank levels will make you wish you were just getting swarmed by an unstoppable horde. I guess that's why the occasional unfair death doesn't really bother me. It doesn't really make the game any harder.
So what's good about it?
If you've never played a game like this, it's hard to describe. You're always about 1/20th of a second away from dying. The demands it makes on your concentration are intense. Most of the time you're just shooting the thing nearest to you just to survive. Every step along your path is carved out of the horde. Sometimes a volley of projectiles will come at you and you have to be able to dodge most of them and shoot a couple that you can't. After a while your conscious mind isn't even playing because it can't keep up. You'll do something and think "Wow! I can't believe I did that!" and then you'll die immediately and probably lose 5 lives because you've broken the spell. If you resist the temptation to think about what you just did, you'll be doing unbelievable stuff on a regular basis. Playing Robotron for me is a meditative experience. It actually puts my mind in a different state, and that's something modern games have not been able to do for me.
I recommend this game
This game is an incredible amount of fun. You might find a game as intense, but you won't find one more intense. It's on the first Midway collection for PS2 and Xbox, and it's cheap. Shouldn't cost more than 29.99 onlay. There's also a version of it for Xbox360 arcade. It may be only 50k, but you'll keep going back to it. It's that good.
today made me realize:
that i'm not into video games as much as i used to be.... i wonder why?
i met up with a friend from campus, this dude that i used to play brawl with, and he was talking about games and stuff, usually, the 15 year old in me would be like "HOLY EFFING SHI-BALLS U LIKE DIS GAEM TOO?" but it just seemed bleak, and for the first time i shrugged.
this applies to my current subscription to game informer, years ago i would be super stoked, but i flip these pages only to be pummeled to the ground by endless and unsuccessful attempts to grab my attention. this led me to believe that maybe i'm losing my touch, maybe, i'm *gasp* growing older, and really drifting away from a somewhat childish hobby, but in truth. it's not me. it's the stuff that's coming out.
you see, i can claim that the playstation 2 is the best system ever, well...i lied, i think the dreamcast is, as a matter of fact, i still have these two bastards hooked up to my crummy television set in my room.
there was originality on a lot of their releases (speaking on behalf of the DC) , albeit a lot of bad ones as well... i miss those days where i can get really suped on something coming out, in my case this is street fighter iv, and tatsunoko vs. capcom. my wii will actually be used for something OTHER than surfing the web and on youtube!!!
to backtrack, all the way to paragraph...3, i'm a fighting game fan, i may not be the best player of these kinds of games, i may not know every nook and crannie to their technical prowess, i just enjoy beating the tar out of something. this love goes back when i first had a sega genesis at 6 years old (that is either back in 92 or 93...) and i got the first mortal kombat game, and super street fighter 2. i was in loooove with this genre, the fact that it can replace real-life school fights, you can take that straight to the console and or an arcade, and your worth was proved by that.
i have this nostalgic connection with them, and all jokes aside (skn lol.) i really loved these games growing up. fast foward about 15 years later, and i still have that nostalgic feeling. i'm not much of a 3-d fighting fan, perhaps it's a bit too technical for me, but that doesn't mean that i enjoy them, i mean, i think VF 5 is probably the deepest 3-d fighter ever.
if i go to the chinatown arcade, i feel right at home sometimes, seeing street fighter iv there was like me in bayonne at the electric playground, when they first released street fighter III...
anyway, this is a total mess of a blog, and i just wanted to write something to write something.
kinda thrown-off that this is specifically for video games and movies.
i'll write a review about se7en and how after watching it so many times, it still never ceases to amaze me...
maybe i'll talk about zach and miri make a porno next week...
to summarize, you silly video game developers, if you want to truly interest me, you better dedicate most of your development to fighting games.
end.
-m
i met up with a friend from campus, this dude that i used to play brawl with, and he was talking about games and stuff, usually, the 15 year old in me would be like "HOLY EFFING SHI-BALLS U LIKE DIS GAEM TOO?" but it just seemed bleak, and for the first time i shrugged.
this applies to my current subscription to game informer, years ago i would be super stoked, but i flip these pages only to be pummeled to the ground by endless and unsuccessful attempts to grab my attention. this led me to believe that maybe i'm losing my touch, maybe, i'm *gasp* growing older, and really drifting away from a somewhat childish hobby, but in truth. it's not me. it's the stuff that's coming out.
you see, i can claim that the playstation 2 is the best system ever, well...i lied, i think the dreamcast is, as a matter of fact, i still have these two bastards hooked up to my crummy television set in my room.
there was originality on a lot of their releases (speaking on behalf of the DC) , albeit a lot of bad ones as well... i miss those days where i can get really suped on something coming out, in my case this is street fighter iv, and tatsunoko vs. capcom. my wii will actually be used for something OTHER than surfing the web and on youtube!!!
to backtrack, all the way to paragraph...3, i'm a fighting game fan, i may not be the best player of these kinds of games, i may not know every nook and crannie to their technical prowess, i just enjoy beating the tar out of something. this love goes back when i first had a sega genesis at 6 years old (that is either back in 92 or 93...) and i got the first mortal kombat game, and super street fighter 2. i was in loooove with this genre, the fact that it can replace real-life school fights, you can take that straight to the console and or an arcade, and your worth was proved by that.
i have this nostalgic connection with them, and all jokes aside (skn lol.) i really loved these games growing up. fast foward about 15 years later, and i still have that nostalgic feeling. i'm not much of a 3-d fighting fan, perhaps it's a bit too technical for me, but that doesn't mean that i enjoy them, i mean, i think VF 5 is probably the deepest 3-d fighter ever.
if i go to the chinatown arcade, i feel right at home sometimes, seeing street fighter iv there was like me in bayonne at the electric playground, when they first released street fighter III...
anyway, this is a total mess of a blog, and i just wanted to write something to write something.
kinda thrown-off that this is specifically for video games and movies.
i'll write a review about se7en and how after watching it so many times, it still never ceases to amaze me...
maybe i'll talk about zach and miri make a porno next week...
to summarize, you silly video game developers, if you want to truly interest me, you better dedicate most of your development to fighting games.
end.
-m
Oct 21, 2008
Guys I has a confessions to makes.
I like to use ASH CRIMSON in KOF games. He's kinda GUILE-ish, but womanly. I like to charge his SONIC BOOM while doing the ballerina moves, and I like to ROLL WHILE CHARGING DOWN LK LP LP SUMMERSAULT CHOMBOE.
I also like to use REMY in 3S and pick his ASH CRIMSON LP+MK+HP COLOR. I like to dash up after a knock-down and mash crouching jab with the DOWN LP + LK OPTION SELECT so that I can't be thrown and will stuff reversals. And then I punish whatever they do after that with an LK RISING RAGE FLASH. I also like to fake a MEATY LK COLD BLUE KICK. That way I trick them into high blocking, but the kick actually recovery by the time they're up and I grab. Sometimes I will actually hit with the MEATY LK-CBK, so I got a neat tricky lil mixup. I also like to CHOMBOE into SUPER ART II SUPREME RISING RAGE FLASH off of the crouching jabs.
The ONLAY problem I have with my strat is that it's boring, and if I get hit while crouching (cuz I'm crouching all the time to charge RISING RAGE FLASH), I take 29.99 ONLAY million extra damage. OUCH!
Remy >>> Ash Crimson def def
I also like to use REMY in 3S and pick his ASH CRIMSON LP+MK+HP COLOR. I like to dash up after a knock-down and mash crouching jab with the DOWN LP + LK OPTION SELECT so that I can't be thrown and will stuff reversals. And then I punish whatever they do after that with an LK RISING RAGE FLASH. I also like to fake a MEATY LK COLD BLUE KICK. That way I trick them into high blocking, but the kick actually recovery by the time they're up and I grab. Sometimes I will actually hit with the MEATY LK-CBK, so I got a neat tricky lil mixup. I also like to CHOMBOE into SUPER ART II SUPREME RISING RAGE FLASH off of the crouching jabs.
The ONLAY problem I have with my strat is that it's boring, and if I get hit while crouching (cuz I'm crouching all the time to charge RISING RAGE FLASH), I take 29.99 ONLAY million extra damage. OUCH!
Remy >>> Ash Crimson def def
Oct 20, 2008
Dead Space: Complete Impressions (PS3 style)
i`m going to see if i can MAYBE structure this a little bit. if i`m going to write these damn reviews, i might as well get some sort of a system worked out.
lets start with the story. in the future, with the Earth`s resources dried up, huge spaceships called Planet Crackers are sent out to harvest resources from other planets. they are like huge oil platforms in space, essentially. they harvest all the resources they can carry, and then haul them back to Earth. the Ishimura is the largest ship in it`s class, and it has had a total communications blackout.
cue the repair team, including the main character of the game, Isaac Clarke, and engineer. the team is dispatched to make contact with the Ishimura and make the repairs necessary for it to complete it`s mission. upon arrival, you quickly discover things have gone less than ideal, and it pretty much just looks like a slaughterhouse now. after an early attack by hideous creatures called Necromorphs, Isaac is split from the rest of the crew and must make various repairs to traverse the ship. you later pick up other story bits involving a kooky religion and such things, but i`m not going to go into that.
next up i will address the lighting and sound. the lighting is pretty much creepy as hell. it varies from dimly lit, to barely lit, to brightly lit, to flickering lights. the lights cast shadows in a realistic and spooky manner. there are also a lot of different colors of lights, from the flourecent white to the emergency orange-yellow spinners, and even some soft greens. there was never a point where the lighting seemed out of place or took away from the experience. it was just always done so well that you didn`t really even notice it was doing anything at all. it just blended perfectly with the mood of the game.
the sound was also outrageously terrific. from the spinning blades of the Ripper, the footsteps, and even the airlocks opening and closing, the sound was very well done. the music was also very subtle to the point where i can`t really remember any of it. thats not to say it was boring KOF style music. the music just fit and played it`s part. this is first and foremost a game, and i think the developers understood that. nothing really gets in the way of the gameplay. the music is just there to help set the mood, and that is just what it does.
up next is the controls. i generally can complain about something when it comes to controls, but there was really nothing to complain about here. there is no quick turn, but i can`t think of a game that uses dual analogue control and also has a quick turn. you can invert the controls, if you`re ONE OF THOSE. i was concerned that readying the weapons with L1 was going to be a problem, but it really didn`t take any getting used to at all, it just worked.
R1 and R2 are primary and secondary fire, respectively. you also have two melee attacks for when you aren`t aiming your weapon. the wild haymakers and a super stomp. running is performed by holding the L2 button, which is also surprisingly lovely. the directional pad switches to one of your four held weapons, while pressing in the right stick is probably the greatest thing ever. a blue line forms on the ground pointing you in the direction you should be going. no more getting lost a la Resident Evil or opening the map every 5 second like it`s Silent Hill.
onward to the gameplay, the important stuff. i`m only going to touch on the combat as it pertains to the two enemy types: regular dudes and BOSS MEN.
as far as the regular Necromorphs are concerned, most of them are defeated by severing their limbs. this deals extra damage and has the added bonus of making them less dangerous. cutting off a head makes them blind, cutting off the legs forces them to crawl. this turns the game into more of a strategic shooter rather than an "aim for the head" or just fill `em full of lead shooter.
the boss fights i found to be very very awesome. they are somewhat objective based. two of the bosses you can`t even kill through normal means. they require you to use your weapons and skills as a means of slowing them down to spring a sort of trap on them. while this can be mildly frustrating when things aren`t going your way, it`s not by means of the game just being a total prick. it`s more because you simply didn`t do something right.
there is a boss fight done in one of the games gimmick sort of features, the Zero-G. in Zero-G your magnetic boots let you walk on walls, and you can jump from one surface to another. this boss fight takes place in a large tube structure, with an entire end of the tube being clogged by the boss. it had a sort of old-school feel to it.
the final boss also was sort of an old-school throwback kind of boss, in my mind. there were certain points you had to hit, and a certain pattern you had to get into the groove of. it really was an enjoyable boss battle.
well, this structure caused me to miss a few things i`m sure, i should have just babbled like i was talking to someone. hopefully this review was at least helpful to the three or four people who will read it and don`t really play video games of this sort anyway.
~Maxie
lets start with the story. in the future, with the Earth`s resources dried up, huge spaceships called Planet Crackers are sent out to harvest resources from other planets. they are like huge oil platforms in space, essentially. they harvest all the resources they can carry, and then haul them back to Earth. the Ishimura is the largest ship in it`s class, and it has had a total communications blackout.
cue the repair team, including the main character of the game, Isaac Clarke, and engineer. the team is dispatched to make contact with the Ishimura and make the repairs necessary for it to complete it`s mission. upon arrival, you quickly discover things have gone less than ideal, and it pretty much just looks like a slaughterhouse now. after an early attack by hideous creatures called Necromorphs, Isaac is split from the rest of the crew and must make various repairs to traverse the ship. you later pick up other story bits involving a kooky religion and such things, but i`m not going to go into that.
next up i will address the lighting and sound. the lighting is pretty much creepy as hell. it varies from dimly lit, to barely lit, to brightly lit, to flickering lights. the lights cast shadows in a realistic and spooky manner. there are also a lot of different colors of lights, from the flourecent white to the emergency orange-yellow spinners, and even some soft greens. there was never a point where the lighting seemed out of place or took away from the experience. it was just always done so well that you didn`t really even notice it was doing anything at all. it just blended perfectly with the mood of the game.
the sound was also outrageously terrific. from the spinning blades of the Ripper, the footsteps, and even the airlocks opening and closing, the sound was very well done. the music was also very subtle to the point where i can`t really remember any of it. thats not to say it was boring KOF style music. the music just fit and played it`s part. this is first and foremost a game, and i think the developers understood that. nothing really gets in the way of the gameplay. the music is just there to help set the mood, and that is just what it does.
up next is the controls. i generally can complain about something when it comes to controls, but there was really nothing to complain about here. there is no quick turn, but i can`t think of a game that uses dual analogue control and also has a quick turn. you can invert the controls, if you`re ONE OF THOSE. i was concerned that readying the weapons with L1 was going to be a problem, but it really didn`t take any getting used to at all, it just worked.
R1 and R2 are primary and secondary fire, respectively. you also have two melee attacks for when you aren`t aiming your weapon. the wild haymakers and a super stomp. running is performed by holding the L2 button, which is also surprisingly lovely. the directional pad switches to one of your four held weapons, while pressing in the right stick is probably the greatest thing ever. a blue line forms on the ground pointing you in the direction you should be going. no more getting lost a la Resident Evil or opening the map every 5 second like it`s Silent Hill.
onward to the gameplay, the important stuff. i`m only going to touch on the combat as it pertains to the two enemy types: regular dudes and BOSS MEN.
as far as the regular Necromorphs are concerned, most of them are defeated by severing their limbs. this deals extra damage and has the added bonus of making them less dangerous. cutting off a head makes them blind, cutting off the legs forces them to crawl. this turns the game into more of a strategic shooter rather than an "aim for the head" or just fill `em full of lead shooter.
the boss fights i found to be very very awesome. they are somewhat objective based. two of the bosses you can`t even kill through normal means. they require you to use your weapons and skills as a means of slowing them down to spring a sort of trap on them. while this can be mildly frustrating when things aren`t going your way, it`s not by means of the game just being a total prick. it`s more because you simply didn`t do something right.
there is a boss fight done in one of the games gimmick sort of features, the Zero-G. in Zero-G your magnetic boots let you walk on walls, and you can jump from one surface to another. this boss fight takes place in a large tube structure, with an entire end of the tube being clogged by the boss. it had a sort of old-school feel to it.
the final boss also was sort of an old-school throwback kind of boss, in my mind. there were certain points you had to hit, and a certain pattern you had to get into the groove of. it really was an enjoyable boss battle.
well, this structure caused me to miss a few things i`m sure, i should have just babbled like i was talking to someone. hopefully this review was at least helpful to the three or four people who will read it and don`t really play video games of this sort anyway.
~Maxie
Oct 16, 2008
Bad (mash) Engrish
Hey Mash, I promised you a while ago that I'd write something for your communications class regarding the dangers of poor English. I was going to write it in an MS Word document, but I don't know if you have word, so I just put it here instead. Besides, this way our other reader might enjoy it too. Your English is very good, so some of this will be OLD NEWS, but it will be funny anyway. Unfortunately for you, these examples are all Japanese because I don't have any experience with Pakistani ESL people. Hopefully though there will be some general principles that you'll be able to use. I got all of these from Engrish.com, so thanks goes to them for existing.
Spelling in English is really important. Really simple and seemingly innocuous spelling errors can dramatically change the meaning of what you're saying.
This fruit can hurt you
BAD PRODUCT NAMES
I hope you also sell hats
Maybe I'll go find a McDonald's instead.
Can I play?
Referring to someone as "easy" means that they're easy to seduce. Most women wouldn't want to call themselves easy, and the women that do would probably find this jacket boring and opt for a baby doll T that says "slut" instead.
Where do you put the batteries?
After looking at a whole pile of examples, I sorted out what I thought were a few basic different categories of mistakes, and I'll go through them and give a few examples of each. First though I'd like to give you my favourite bit of Engrish ever. I can't fit it into a category because the English is so berserk I don't know where to begin critiquing it.
Please to buy a children for increase the pleasant time! If you can careful maybe you're survival!
It's a little hard to read, so I'll transcribe it:
A dangerous toy. This toy is being made for the extreme priority the good looks. The little part which suffocates when the sharp part which gets hurt is swallowed is contained generously. Only the person who can take responsibility by itself is to play.
I don't know about you, but I don't even know what it is and I want one.
SPELLING ERRORS
Spelling in English is really important. Really simple and seemingly innocuous spelling errors can dramatically change the meaning of what you're saying.
Mmm! Appetizing!
The Japanese often confuse "L" with "R". It's clear that they're selling "Fresh Juice", but "Flesh Juice" sounds like they're offering liquified meat in a cup.
For people who don't like their pets.
It looks like this is fresh grass for your pet to eat. Yes, even dogs and cats love to eat fresh grass. They do not however like to eat GLASS and you shouldn't try to feed it to your pet.
This fruit can hurt youFirst it must be said that this is a perfectly sensible phonetic spelling of "pineapple". In Japanese, "ai" represents the long "I" sound. It doesn't work to spell English words phonetically though, and this is a good example of why not.
BAD PRODUCT NAMES
There are a lot of products with English names or at least western sounding names in Japan, but some of them vitually guarantee that no English speaker will buy them. Bad for the product, but great for us because it's a mistake that can have hilarious results.
Where did this chocolate come from?
Nobody should ever give any food product a name that in any way reminds you of your butt. Ever. This goes double for chocolate because it already looks like poo.
I hope you also sell hats"Woops" sounds like they're mistake prone. You do not want to hear WOOPS when you're paying 29.99 to have your hair cut unless you like looking silly.
Maybe I'll go find a McDonald's instead.This is probably a snack stand in an airport terminal and it seems logical to therefore call it the "Terminal Snack Stand". Unfortunately, "terminal" is also an adjective meaning "fatal". Basically the name of this snack bar says "THIS SNACK STAND WILL KILL YOU". I think I'll eat somewhere else.
INNUENDO
English is full of innuendo about sex and bodily functions. If you're not careful, you end up with stuff like this:
Can I play?BJ is clearly a magazine about J-League basketball. It's also short for "blow-job".
To each his own I suppose.
Fudge is a tasty treat. It can also mean "poop". If the magazine had simply been called "Fudge", probably nobody would have thought it was funny. But calling it "Men's Fudge" sounds like it's fudge that comes from men.
Refreshing honesty
Referring to someone as "easy" means that they're easy to seduce. Most women wouldn't want to call themselves easy, and the women that do would probably find this jacket boring and opt for a baby doll T that says "slut" instead.
From over 40 different breeds!
"Wiz" can be short for "wizard". For example, a computer wiz is somebody who is really good at using computers. "Wiz" can also mean urine, and dogs are famous for their talent for peeing all over everything.
NUANCE
The way you say things matters and can have a huge effect on the meaning you're getting across. I offer these as examples.
Where do you put the batteries?People are "her" or "him" or "he" or "she". People are never "it". That's for inanimate objects onlay. This T-shirt implies that the wearer isn't a person, IT is a robot or something instead.
Slightly less gross than trucker's fluid
I know what they were thinking. Ballerinas are famous for their fluid motion. There's a big difference though between saying something like "fluid ballerina" or even "a ballerina is fluid", which is what I imagine they meant, and saying "ballerina's fluid", which means "fluid from a ballerina" AKA "dancer piss".
Time for a new me.
I think they meant to say "do your own recycling", but it sounds like they're instructing you to mulch yourself up and spread yourself over the garden.
VERBING NOUNS
This one doesn't yield bad results, it just sounds silly. Fairly self explanatory. I'll give a couple examples.
SIMPLY NOT KNOWING WHAT YOU'RE SAYING
Again, fairly self explanatory. If in doubt, don't wear it, don't use it, don't say it.
I wouldn't exactly call you macho, but that's a little unbelievable.
In case you can't read his shirt, it says "BEWARE, I'm armed and I have pre-menstrual tension". Men shouldn't wear this shirt because they can't menstruate. Women shouldn't wear this shirt because bragging about PMS isn't funny or cute, it's obnoxious and a little silly.WTF?
There are lots of obvious mistakes that make the message sound funny, yet you can tell what they were trying to say. These are the exact opposite; there don't seem to be any mistakes, but the message doesn't make any sense. I have no explanation for any of these.
Don't annoy this guy or he'll compliment you. Maybe even give you a hug.
What are bulldogs made of? POWDER!!!
Happy hamsters taste better than grumpy ones.
SOMETIMES ENGRISH SAYS IT BETTER THAN ENGLISH EVER COULD
Yes my friend, it is indeed.
SPECIAL MESSAGE FOR SOUR GRAPES:
That whole going blind thing is just a myth.
Oct 15, 2008
Dead Space: The Early Review
after getting through about 2 hours of Dead Space, i wanted to share my impressions.
the game is fantastic. i do not have a single complaint about anything in the game yet. the controls are just grand. the combat is fresh while at the same time being familiar. the HUD being displayed primarily on your suit and through a holographic projection work well and are easy to understand. the enemies thus far have been a suitable challenge, they were not pushovers and they certainly weren`t rat bastards either.
strategic dismemberment in the name of the game in combat. you aim your weapons to cut off limbs, and that is how you deal the damage needed to put enemies down. sounds easy enough, what can fight back when it doesn`t have a head? well, so far everything i faced. they are less likely to come after you when they do not have their appendages that are clearly the means of attack. if their arms are blades, those have to go. when they have weird tentacles coming out of their back, gotta cut those off.
the pacing of the game is probably the weakest point, but it isn`t a negative really. it has been a pretty constant pace, with very few dead spots in the action. i happen to be a fan of the dead spot when it comes to enemy encounters, but i can also see the value of having enemies throughout.
the weapons have taken a little getting used to. the first two weapons i have gotten both have 3 laser sights on them. the line formed by these lasers corresponds to the length of the cut they produce. so you basically are firing at what is within this line. each weapon is said to have an ALTERNATE FIRE. the first weapon lets you switch the cut direction from horizontal to verticle, which is extremely useful since different enemies require a different angle. the second weapon i got fires a mine, but i haven`t used it yet so i don`t know how useful it is.
by picking up power nodes throughout the game you can upgrade your armor to give you more health or oxygen (for when you are operating in breached areas of the ship), as well as upgrade your weapons in various areas such as ammo capacity, damage, and reload speed. these power nodes can also be used on certain locked doors, i`m assuming these doors are all optional.
i could probably babble on about this more, but i`ll spare you all (all 2 of you). i`ll be sure to report on this further after i complete it.
~Maxie
the game is fantastic. i do not have a single complaint about anything in the game yet. the controls are just grand. the combat is fresh while at the same time being familiar. the HUD being displayed primarily on your suit and through a holographic projection work well and are easy to understand. the enemies thus far have been a suitable challenge, they were not pushovers and they certainly weren`t rat bastards either.
strategic dismemberment in the name of the game in combat. you aim your weapons to cut off limbs, and that is how you deal the damage needed to put enemies down. sounds easy enough, what can fight back when it doesn`t have a head? well, so far everything i faced. they are less likely to come after you when they do not have their appendages that are clearly the means of attack. if their arms are blades, those have to go. when they have weird tentacles coming out of their back, gotta cut those off.
the pacing of the game is probably the weakest point, but it isn`t a negative really. it has been a pretty constant pace, with very few dead spots in the action. i happen to be a fan of the dead spot when it comes to enemy encounters, but i can also see the value of having enemies throughout.
the weapons have taken a little getting used to. the first two weapons i have gotten both have 3 laser sights on them. the line formed by these lasers corresponds to the length of the cut they produce. so you basically are firing at what is within this line. each weapon is said to have an ALTERNATE FIRE. the first weapon lets you switch the cut direction from horizontal to verticle, which is extremely useful since different enemies require a different angle. the second weapon i got fires a mine, but i haven`t used it yet so i don`t know how useful it is.
by picking up power nodes throughout the game you can upgrade your armor to give you more health or oxygen (for when you are operating in breached areas of the ship), as well as upgrade your weapons in various areas such as ammo capacity, damage, and reload speed. these power nodes can also be used on certain locked doors, i`m assuming these doors are all optional.
i could probably babble on about this more, but i`ll spare you all (all 2 of you). i`ll be sure to report on this further after i complete it.
~Maxie
Oct 14, 2008
COBALT REIGN (now correctly typed) makes his first BLAG POACH.
And describes his gripes with GUILTY GEAR XX ACCENT CORE within!
Now this is the only GUILTY SMEAR game I have ever owned and played seriously. I played the others a little and thought they were fun.
But I thinks that GUILTY SMEAR has too high of a EXECUTION CURVE to be very fun. I pick PINK X BUTTON SLAYER and just get in and build meter with all his "high priority safe on block kick pokes imo in the butt." I also fool around with stuff like DANDY STEPS, instant air dashes, and teleports IMO. When I have A QUARTER METER .2999 seconds later, I keep doing that except now I fish for a COUNTER HIT and chomboe into BIG BAWNG YUPAHCAT (but SLAYER says something like "BEIJING"), then do something like 2H JUMP 5K 2K 5D to feenish into a knock down imo.
When I do that I'm all "Yeah, this game rox, 29.99 seconds in and I did a FIFTY PERCAN'T DAMAGE CHOMBOE imo! Lovely stuff!"
But then I switch to somebody like DIZZY or EDDIE or AXEL ROW THE GUY FROM GUNZ AND ROZEZ imo and then I can't do any good chomboes with doing DORK ROMANCE CANCELZ I copied from INTERNET.COM (plagiarsing ButtMash proudly imo). These are hard and are too time consuming to learn cuz you have to press three buttons in like two frames.
But then there's POKEMONKIN and he's really rad. He's the tolkien FITAN GAME BIG BLACK DUDE except he's bigger and blacker and duder than all the other ones, but his SPLEENING PILE DLIVAL lacks the spinning. He has a cheap chomboes like 2S 2H DP H MASH HCB H. His 2H pulls you in on hit and block for him to do a NON-SPINNING PILE DRIVER. Can you believe how cool that is? Except the problem with him is that you have to a DORK CANCEL on an exact frame of his NSPD. Also someone on INTERNET.COM said that he has a HEAD SLIDE TRAP but I never learned of it imo.
So in my honest fact, GUILTY GEAR XX ACCENT CORE is a SOLID FITAN GAME as long as you pick PINK SLAYER. SLAYER is a really nice gentleman who reminds me of ROGER SMITH from BIG O, the best BATMAN GIANT MECH ANIME to ever be made (aka best anime).
BTW, rate my first blog post out of 29.99. IMO I capitalized all my PROPER NOUNS like the TEAM T.HAWK JR does. Do I get to be a memver imo?
Now this is the only GUILTY SMEAR game I have ever owned and played seriously. I played the others a little and thought they were fun.
But I thinks that GUILTY SMEAR has too high of a EXECUTION CURVE to be very fun. I pick PINK X BUTTON SLAYER and just get in and build meter with all his "high priority safe on block kick pokes imo in the butt." I also fool around with stuff like DANDY STEPS, instant air dashes, and teleports IMO. When I have A QUARTER METER .2999 seconds later, I keep doing that except now I fish for a COUNTER HIT and chomboe into BIG BAWNG YUPAHCAT (but SLAYER says something like "BEIJING"), then do something like 2H JUMP 5K 2K 5D to feenish into a knock down imo.
When I do that I'm all "Yeah, this game rox, 29.99 seconds in and I did a FIFTY PERCAN'T DAMAGE CHOMBOE imo! Lovely stuff!"
But then I switch to somebody like DIZZY or EDDIE or AXEL ROW THE GUY FROM GUNZ AND ROZEZ imo and then I can't do any good chomboes with doing DORK ROMANCE CANCELZ I copied from INTERNET.COM (plagiarsing ButtMash proudly imo). These are hard and are too time consuming to learn cuz you have to press three buttons in like two frames.
But then there's POKEMONKIN and he's really rad. He's the tolkien FITAN GAME BIG BLACK DUDE except he's bigger and blacker and duder than all the other ones, but his SPLEENING PILE DLIVAL lacks the spinning. He has a cheap chomboes like 2S 2H DP H MASH HCB H. His 2H pulls you in on hit and block for him to do a NON-SPINNING PILE DRIVER. Can you believe how cool that is? Except the problem with him is that you have to a DORK CANCEL on an exact frame of his NSPD. Also someone on INTERNET.COM said that he has a HEAD SLIDE TRAP but I never learned of it imo.
So in my honest fact, GUILTY GEAR XX ACCENT CORE is a SOLID FITAN GAME as long as you pick PINK SLAYER. SLAYER is a really nice gentleman who reminds me of ROGER SMITH from BIG O, the best BATMAN GIANT MECH ANIME to ever be made (aka best anime).
BTW, rate my first blog post out of 29.99. IMO I capitalized all my PROPER NOUNS like the TEAM T.HAWK JR does. Do I get to be a memver imo?
Oct 11, 2008
HULK MASH!
THE INCREDIBLE HULK (2008) is a fast-paced movie that I totally enjoyed at the theatre last month. Not being a huge HULK fan (or even a small one), I went in with absolutely no expectation, other than OK so there's a 100.99% chance that this movie may totally suck. But it didn't.
Assuming the role of researcher / lecturer DR BETTY ROSS - 30, single, down on her luck with love, boyfriend having become a rampaging monster, and on unfriendly terms with her only family, a lunatic dad - you would expect Liv Tyler's character to be a psychotic, moody and frustrated maniac whose life is nothing but memorizing the Encyclopedia Britannica and reading every single article on EBSCO Host. And doing voodoo magic on men when they're not looking.
But the only thing weird about Liv Tyler's BETTY ROSS in the whole movie was her hairdo. Outside of that? She was nerdy enough to be Loreal's new face.
BETTY, as played by Liv Tyler -and- as she would probably actually be IRL
Regardless of all the criticism, this movie was through and through a mindless summer action movie all the way, and fun to watch.
My gripes with THE INCREDIBLE HULK:
1. The only dialogue BETTY has in the entire movie is "It's OK." Especially when it's NOT OK.
2. BRUCE BANNER is the only genius on Earth who goes on punching 'tik tik tik tik tik tik tik tik tik tik tik tik tik tik tik tik tik tik tik' on the computer just to type HOME
An apparently hilarious image on the Internet that I disagree with, because
1. It isn't hilarious, and 2. That's not a goatee, dumbass
The story is straight to the point and starts off immediately after the intro-credits run by you at turbo-8 speed. We know from the start that fugutive researcher DR BRUCE BANNER needs to control getting himself excited because that way he becomes XXL SIZE BANNER (COMES IN GREEN ONLY). At the same time, the Army is already hunting for him, to capture and use HULK as a weapon. Etc etc.
10 minutes have hardly gone by that the Army is onto BRUCE and away they go playing tag with machine guns with tranquilizer darts, jumping around the mind-boggling rooftops of Guatemala where he was hiding out. Before you know it, Mr Cool loses his cool and beats the happy holidays out of his pursuers in a terrific intro battle.
From there ahead, we follow BRUCE looking around desperately for shelter, clothes, food, money, sex - anything but a job. Because a decent job is hard to find these days, obviously.
Here's where the real bad guy shows up: an uber soldier called BLONDIE who sniffs on one of the prototype drugs BRUCE was testing on before becoming HULK. BLONDIE becomes a super-charged soldier and helps capture BRUCE, who was busy losing his Gamma Strength so he could finally have sex.
Guess who thinks this is really DEATHWISH 14 ?
As the Army takes the now full-time nerd BRUCE BANNER away, BLONDIE loses his cool and becomes OROCHI HULK and starts destroying the city. I'm guessing it's New York, because it's always been New York in 1,000 other movies.
The Army's onlay option now is to release their captive and pray to GOD RUGAL that he can save their [bleep!] - so it's a 10-minute final round between HULK and MEGA HULK.
I'd like to see BATMAN save the city now, LOL2002
I've watched this movie twice, which goes to show it maybe wasn't terrible. (Or maybe because I need to find a new hobby.)
So I would like to recommend THE INCREDIBLE HULK to you with a big, fat and green 7/10 final score. And 5 of those 7 marks go to Liv Tyler for just being in the movie.
Oct 9, 2008
Silent Hill: The Game That Would Have Been 5 if 5 Silent Hills Didnt Exist Before It
i was so jazzed for Silent Hill: Homecoming that i acted like a hungry cat (i flipped over a table and threw a television out the window). i am happy to report the game did not let me down.
i don`t discuss story lines in games because i honestly don`t give a hoot. so lets get to the important part, the gameplay.
there was a major overhaul to the movement and combat system of the game. you were also given a health bar, which replaced the sometimes ambiguous blinking picture in other Silent Hill games (aside from THE ROOM, but that game hardly counts as a game, more like a pain in the johnson). the movement has gone away from the Desert Strike heckicopter controls from previous games and now operates on the dual analogue stick control. this pissed some people off immensely, but those people are r-tards.
new to combat is a two attack strength system, which follows into the natural progression of "chomboes." there is also a dodge button, which lets you avoid attacks and return with a JOLT COUNTER attack of your own. did this new combat system remove the horror aspect of the Silent Hill franchise and replace it with ACTION? according to a bunch of turds, it certainly did. according to me, no it didn`t.
one major problem people had was that gunplay is different. no longer to you auto aim at the nearest monster. you now have a manual aiming mode. this allows for precise aiming, and i GUESS longer range shots (not really though) but people are saying you can stand across the room and just shoot everything. number 1) you don`t get enough ammo for that and number 2) you can`t even CARRY very much ammo. in other Silent Hill games it was easy to amass hundreds of bullets. in Homecoming, you can`t hold more than one full magazine + 2 full reloads for any gun. hardly an ACTION staple.
one thing i felt was AWESOME about the game (well, most of the game was awesome) was how fast you moved from location to location. i think i only opened the map like 10 times the whole game, which is much much different from every other Silent Hill (i had to learn how to read maps because of other Silent Hill games). so no more opening the map every 15 seconds to figure out where you are going in huge buildings full of locked doors. Homecoming plays fairly linear, and in a very good way.
my one major complaint with the game is that the enemies are total d-bags most of the time. they are much more aggressive than in previous Silent Hill games, and they also take more damage and have more variety in their attack methods. this complaint doesn`t go against how great the game is, it`s just a general complaint because i`m still angry about getting smoke in my dudes lungs from those arsehole Smogs.
the boss fights are a little more epic than other Silent Hill boss fights, with the exception of the final boss, which aside from being the biggest jerk in the game, wasn`t anything all that memorable. every boss had a button prompt FINISH HIM move, which was either done well or done kinda crummy. there was no clear indication that you needed to do this on the first boss, so i ended up hitting it like 500 times more than i probably needed to.
one thing i actually thought was really neat was how they took some stuff Silent Hill the movie and integrated it into the game. they also took some inspiration from the movie HOSTEL (not the boobs, unfortunately). they had the order soldiers dressed in the miner suits, and some barbed wire that reminded me of the movie, and even Pyramid Head being followed by some gross ass bugs.
i greatly enjoyed all the new features in Silent Hill: Homecoming, and honestly did not miss any of the stuff they took out. not even QUICK TURN. they left in the staples of the series such as the lead pipe, the radio, the flashlight, and the OTHERWORLD. and they went ahead and changed the movement and combat for the better.
i would give this game an 8.5/10. while being linear it still didn`t really help you too much on what you were supposed to do. i remember being stuck for almost an hour because i didn`t know i had to use an item in the same room i got it. there are a few glitches in the game as well, one where you can`t see anything but door frames and you character which i experienced once, and one major glitch it would appear where one puzzle doesn`t have a solution that makes sense. half the people insist the answer in 2:06, but the other half have varying time solutions (i myself had 1:07). there is also no Final Score after you complete the game, which i always felt was important to the series.
so, great game with a few minor flaws keeping it from being GAME OF THE WEEK for me (i got BioShock for my 360, so that pretty much wins).
~Maxie
i don`t discuss story lines in games because i honestly don`t give a hoot. so lets get to the important part, the gameplay.
there was a major overhaul to the movement and combat system of the game. you were also given a health bar, which replaced the sometimes ambiguous blinking picture in other Silent Hill games (aside from THE ROOM, but that game hardly counts as a game, more like a pain in the johnson). the movement has gone away from the Desert Strike heckicopter controls from previous games and now operates on the dual analogue stick control. this pissed some people off immensely, but those people are r-tards.
new to combat is a two attack strength system, which follows into the natural progression of "chomboes." there is also a dodge button, which lets you avoid attacks and return with a JOLT COUNTER attack of your own. did this new combat system remove the horror aspect of the Silent Hill franchise and replace it with ACTION? according to a bunch of turds, it certainly did. according to me, no it didn`t.
one major problem people had was that gunplay is different. no longer to you auto aim at the nearest monster. you now have a manual aiming mode. this allows for precise aiming, and i GUESS longer range shots (not really though) but people are saying you can stand across the room and just shoot everything. number 1) you don`t get enough ammo for that and number 2) you can`t even CARRY very much ammo. in other Silent Hill games it was easy to amass hundreds of bullets. in Homecoming, you can`t hold more than one full magazine + 2 full reloads for any gun. hardly an ACTION staple.
one thing i felt was AWESOME about the game (well, most of the game was awesome) was how fast you moved from location to location. i think i only opened the map like 10 times the whole game, which is much much different from every other Silent Hill (i had to learn how to read maps because of other Silent Hill games). so no more opening the map every 15 seconds to figure out where you are going in huge buildings full of locked doors. Homecoming plays fairly linear, and in a very good way.
my one major complaint with the game is that the enemies are total d-bags most of the time. they are much more aggressive than in previous Silent Hill games, and they also take more damage and have more variety in their attack methods. this complaint doesn`t go against how great the game is, it`s just a general complaint because i`m still angry about getting smoke in my dudes lungs from those arsehole Smogs.
the boss fights are a little more epic than other Silent Hill boss fights, with the exception of the final boss, which aside from being the biggest jerk in the game, wasn`t anything all that memorable. every boss had a button prompt FINISH HIM move, which was either done well or done kinda crummy. there was no clear indication that you needed to do this on the first boss, so i ended up hitting it like 500 times more than i probably needed to.
one thing i actually thought was really neat was how they took some stuff Silent Hill the movie and integrated it into the game. they also took some inspiration from the movie HOSTEL (not the boobs, unfortunately). they had the order soldiers dressed in the miner suits, and some barbed wire that reminded me of the movie, and even Pyramid Head being followed by some gross ass bugs.
i greatly enjoyed all the new features in Silent Hill: Homecoming, and honestly did not miss any of the stuff they took out. not even QUICK TURN. they left in the staples of the series such as the lead pipe, the radio, the flashlight, and the OTHERWORLD. and they went ahead and changed the movement and combat for the better.
i would give this game an 8.5/10. while being linear it still didn`t really help you too much on what you were supposed to do. i remember being stuck for almost an hour because i didn`t know i had to use an item in the same room i got it. there are a few glitches in the game as well, one where you can`t see anything but door frames and you character which i experienced once, and one major glitch it would appear where one puzzle doesn`t have a solution that makes sense. half the people insist the answer in 2:06, but the other half have varying time solutions (i myself had 1:07). there is also no Final Score after you complete the game, which i always felt was important to the series.
so, great game with a few minor flaws keeping it from being GAME OF THE WEEK for me (i got BioShock for my 360, so that pretty much wins).
~Maxie
Oct 7, 2008
The Dork Knight - unbiased edition
Synopsis of the Storyline
I completely fail to understand WHY a trillionaire would not have a care in the world about his endless riches (which he's trusting his butler with) and global business empire (that he's left to a guy anyone can shoot right in the brain-ball anytime anywhere), and instead, he stays up all night hang-gliding from apartment-building to apartment-building, bullying petty thugs.
This is anything but my idea of a hero.
If you were left with a GILLIONAIRE DOLLHAIRS, and you knew very well that you have no one watching your back because all this money is yours and yours alone - which makes you the most targeted person in the State - and your parents have been long gone so you have no one except your butler, who could very well poison you tomorrow and make off with all your money ... my question to you is ... would you simply go work out and learn ju-jitsu for 3 years straight, then go beat up the guy who just robbed the local 7-11 of $29.99?
Would BILL GATES ever want to strike fear into the heart of a pickpocket?
BATMAN is the hero who believes in bullying petty thieves. And doing spinning kung-fu chops on their shoulders. With the worst-ever criminals, what he does is tie them up in a nice package and leave them for the police to arrest.
The police on the other hand is shown to be corrupt. They are all easily bought by the badguys who have money and power thru their connection with banks and politicians. BATMAN, being the guy who knows everything, should already know this - but he trusts the police anyway, which basically makes him an accomplice and equal bad-guy.
So basically, everyone in this movie is a bad-guy, except for the bat-butler Alfred, and bat-employee Lucius.
Performances
I have to confess, I went to watch this movie only because I heard Heath Ledger and Christian WAYNE's performances were over-the-top.
But over the top of what? They didn't say. And let me tell you why: because they weren't. I wasn't blown away by anything.
But this isn't to say that the acting was bad - no, not at all. Everyone gave real good performances: from BRUCE WAYNE to JOKER, and HARVEY DENT to COMMISSIONER GORDON, and EVIL WILD DOGS to A BUNCH OF EXTRAS IN CLOWN MASKS.
Aaron Eckhart (WHO?!) plays the best role in the whole movie as HARVEY DENT / TWO-FACE.
THE JOKER
Quite honestly, the hype of Heath Ledger's JOKER is exaggerated beyond reality. Heath played the role of the JOKER just like the JOKER should be played, and that's that. Any good actor who has actually read the comic-books should play the JOKER's role just like it should be played.
It's the character who is the JOKER that in fact deserves a righteous applause.
"Outrageous Car Chase Scene!!"
There were just two car chases in the whole movie. And neither was outrageous. And the second one ended with BATMAN driving full-speed into the JOKER, and missing him completely. More like BAD DRIVING, MAN.
Summary
To say that THE DORK KNIGHT is the action movie of the year would be technically incorrect, because this movie is more of a drama / commentary on politics and crime. With two car chases.
It is not a romantic movie. (Well, his butler did say that he knows him better than anyone else. But that's just wrong.)
It's not a comedy either. The JOKER's truck had a line saying "Laughter is the best medicine" with an 'S' written before Laughter, making it "SLaughter is the best medicine." How funny is that?
As a BATMAN movie, this is right up there with BATMAN BEGINS as the best BATMAN movie ever made. It is exactly what a BATMAN movie should be like, especially compared to the other BATMAN movies like.. all of them.
And in no way is THE DORK KNIGHT the "best comic-to-movie adaptation of all time".
Final Score
As the totally hyped MOVIE OF THE YEAR, I found it to fall quite short: 6/10
As a MOVIE, this movie gets a totally unbiased 7/10 because I actually enjoyed IRON MAN a lot more.
THE DORK KNIGHT makes IRON MAN look believable.
I completely fail to understand WHY a trillionaire would not have a care in the world about his endless riches (which he's trusting his butler with) and global business empire (that he's left to a guy anyone can shoot right in the brain-ball anytime anywhere), and instead, he stays up all night hang-gliding from apartment-building to apartment-building, bullying petty thugs.
This is anything but my idea of a hero.
If you were left with a GILLIONAIRE DOLLHAIRS, and you knew very well that you have no one watching your back because all this money is yours and yours alone - which makes you the most targeted person in the State - and your parents have been long gone so you have no one except your butler, who could very well poison you tomorrow and make off with all your money ... my question to you is ... would you simply go work out and learn ju-jitsu for 3 years straight, then go beat up the guy who just robbed the local 7-11 of $29.99?
Would BILL GATES ever want to strike fear into the heart of a pickpocket?
BATMAN is the hero who believes in bullying petty thieves. And doing spinning kung-fu chops on their shoulders. With the worst-ever criminals, what he does is tie them up in a nice package and leave them for the police to arrest.
The police on the other hand is shown to be corrupt. They are all easily bought by the badguys who have money and power thru their connection with banks and politicians. BATMAN, being the guy who knows everything, should already know this - but he trusts the police anyway, which basically makes him an accomplice and equal bad-guy.
So basically, everyone in this movie is a bad-guy, except for the bat-butler Alfred, and bat-employee Lucius.
Performances
I have to confess, I went to watch this movie only because I heard Heath Ledger and Christian WAYNE's performances were over-the-top.
But over the top of what? They didn't say. And let me tell you why: because they weren't. I wasn't blown away by anything.
But this isn't to say that the acting was bad - no, not at all. Everyone gave real good performances: from BRUCE WAYNE to JOKER, and HARVEY DENT to COMMISSIONER GORDON, and EVIL WILD DOGS to A BUNCH OF EXTRAS IN CLOWN MASKS.
Aaron Eckhart (WHO?!) plays the best role in the whole movie as HARVEY DENT / TWO-FACE.
THE JOKER
Quite honestly, the hype of Heath Ledger's JOKER is exaggerated beyond reality. Heath played the role of the JOKER just like the JOKER should be played, and that's that. Any good actor who has actually read the comic-books should play the JOKER's role just like it should be played.
It's the character who is the JOKER that in fact deserves a righteous applause.
"Outrageous Car Chase Scene!!"
There were just two car chases in the whole movie. And neither was outrageous. And the second one ended with BATMAN driving full-speed into the JOKER, and missing him completely. More like BAD DRIVING, MAN.
Summary
To say that THE DORK KNIGHT is the action movie of the year would be technically incorrect, because this movie is more of a drama / commentary on politics and crime. With two car chases.
It is not a romantic movie. (Well, his butler did say that he knows him better than anyone else. But that's just wrong.)
It's not a comedy either. The JOKER's truck had a line saying "Laughter is the best medicine" with an 'S' written before Laughter, making it "SLaughter is the best medicine." How funny is that?
As a BATMAN movie, this is right up there with BATMAN BEGINS as the best BATMAN movie ever made. It is exactly what a BATMAN movie should be like, especially compared to the other BATMAN movies like.. all of them.
And in no way is THE DORK KNIGHT the "best comic-to-movie adaptation of all time".
Final Score
As the totally hyped MOVIE OF THE YEAR, I found it to fall quite short: 6/10
As a MOVIE, this movie gets a totally unbiased 7/10 because I actually enjoyed IRON MAN a lot more.
THE DORK KNIGHT makes IRON MAN look believable.
Oct 1, 2008
CONTRA 4 review + T.HAWK Jr Live Music Video 2
It's here, finally, my video-review for CONTRA 4. With subtitles for um anyone who's not me, I guess.
Soundtrack is a tribute to awesome anime ASTs.
Also playing now!
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