part time superstars give part time performances (the excellent review)

it's a shame, hardly anyone remember the greatness of bill & ted. they were one of the quintessential icons of the 80's (alongside the ninja turtles, ghostbusters, he-man and the masters of the universe.) it was everything an 80's should be.

the bill & ted movies remind us that if we're ever caught in a bind, all we need to do is travel through the past via telephone booth, and all of our problems will be solved.

san dimas california, 1988, bill and ted are about to flunk history. this is very eminent in how they answered their teacher's questions. " WHO WAS JOAN OF ARC?" and ted responds "uhhh, NOAHS WIFE?" braindead humor at it's finest. our protaganists are looking to form a hard rock band in vein of bands like van halen, twisted sister, poison, practically any glam/hair metal band you can think of.

the duo basically travels through time, collecting a myriad of historical figures including genghis khan, beethoven, sigmund freud, abe lincoln, socrates, billy the kid, napoleon, joan of arc (portrayed by one of the member's of the go-gos one of the only few women that i would have dirty dirty sex with.) and let's not forget the princesses (who eventually become the love interests of bill and ted.).

69 dudes!

oh, but there's history in the future, you see, fast foward to god knows what year it is. the band wyld stallyns are pretty much the reason for peace on earth, and in order to prevent their future from going into TIME PARADOX, rufus, played by george carlin, must travel back in time, to make sure that bill and ted pass their history report.

after some verbal disputes with ted's dad (a total douche, and who is also threatening to send him to an alaskan military school.) the booth appears and the two go on their second quest (i forgot to mention the test run in which rufus teaches bill and ted how to use the booth, they end up going to 1700 france, where they mistakenly pick up napoleon.)

throughout time, these important figures are being captured in order for bill and ted to eventually succeed in their history reports. after escaping death in the hands of a british king, messing up the antenna, fixing that same antenna with chewed bubble gum, and a huuuuuge shopping mall brawl, FINALLY ending with a sweet and clever escape scene from the holding cells in which ted's father works. bill and ted finally make it back to san dimas high just in time for their reports.

in true van halen fashion, their reports become a spectacle an arena rock concert of epic proportions. they pass their reports (obviously) and are seen jamming in their garage. finally we hear what wyld stallyns sounds like! but they suck, and not in a "oh my damn, this band is generic" bad, these poor guys don't even know how to play their instruments. rufus then comes back from the future, to hand bill and ted their mighty axes, rufus pulls of a sweet guitar solo (i forgot who the guy was who actually PLAYED the solo, i wouldn't be surprised if it was van halen, but i may be wrong.) and bill and ted and their new ladies live happily ever after.

"they get better."

this movie is awesome because it's a great blend of comedy, that valley dude stupidity, rock n' roll, parts that just make you wanna go "aaaww", missy, uh i mean mom, 80's nostalgia up the @$$.

it's great, and i'm surprised a lot of people overlook this film, hell, even the effects aren't bad for it's time, and the music is great.

and this is the main reason why when we think of keanu reeves, we always think "woah.."

10/10

bogus journey review coming soon.

-m