gotta click to read!Dec 31, 2008
Dec 30, 2008
best of '08
hmmm... lemme think..
- tatsunoko vs. capcom
- playing street fighter iv, and getting schooled by a blanka player...and playing tekken 6.
- having lots of sex
- watching the dark knight twice
- robert downey jr. in tropic thunder AAANNNND iron man.
- dropping my modded ps2 and finding out it still works like a charm.
- my 360 getting an rrod, then buying a new arcade model (which happens to be the best and most reliable model.)
- finding a retardedly easy method for booting my imports on wii, and using the same method to get free virtual console games out of it. :-D
- working in NYC for over a year.
- ruling in my art major
- tropic thunder
- tropic thunder the 2 hr director's cut
aahhhh, good year, good year... may i also add that i was in one band, now i'm in another which is totally sweet because it smokes my last band.
now for a tiny video game review:
Naruto Shippuuden: Gekitou Ninja Taisen EX 3.
it's clash of ninja revoltuion but it's the original. this is the third entry in the series, i purposely skipped the first two entries because they seemed kinda crappy to me.
this version of the game beefs up the fighting mechanics while screwing up everything else. how are part 2 characters still using moves from gekitou ninja taisen 2...which was on the GC and RELEASED IN 2003?? blah, but it's still fun. the multi-player is where it's at...the new characters rule, and the part 2 versions of the main characters actually beast in this game.
the visuals are nice and sharp, all in cel-shaded glory. the gameplay is the same as GNT!4, only more *gasp* fair and balanced. the strongest characters got nerfed, and you can replace on the ground which is back, because 8ing was stupid and decided not to put it in the last two games.
the single player campaign is terrible, you basically have to run through a maze and fight your supposed enemy, while fighting many generic ninjas in the process... this can be remedied by simply double jumping over the swarm of generic ninjas... there you beat it in 30 minutes.
overall, i think it's a fine game, from a fighting game enthusiast standpoint. it sucks if you're all about the fan service.
i give it a 7.
happy new year fellerz.
-m
- tatsunoko vs. capcom
- playing street fighter iv, and getting schooled by a blanka player...and playing tekken 6.
- having lots of sex
- watching the dark knight twice
- robert downey jr. in tropic thunder AAANNNND iron man.
- dropping my modded ps2 and finding out it still works like a charm.
- my 360 getting an rrod, then buying a new arcade model (which happens to be the best and most reliable model.)
- finding a retardedly easy method for booting my imports on wii, and using the same method to get free virtual console games out of it. :-D
- working in NYC for over a year.
- ruling in my art major
- tropic thunder
- tropic thunder the 2 hr director's cut
aahhhh, good year, good year... may i also add that i was in one band, now i'm in another which is totally sweet because it smokes my last band.
now for a tiny video game review:
Naruto Shippuuden: Gekitou Ninja Taisen EX 3.
it's clash of ninja revoltuion but it's the original. this is the third entry in the series, i purposely skipped the first two entries because they seemed kinda crappy to me.
this version of the game beefs up the fighting mechanics while screwing up everything else. how are part 2 characters still using moves from gekitou ninja taisen 2...which was on the GC and RELEASED IN 2003?? blah, but it's still fun. the multi-player is where it's at...the new characters rule, and the part 2 versions of the main characters actually beast in this game.
the visuals are nice and sharp, all in cel-shaded glory. the gameplay is the same as GNT!4, only more *gasp* fair and balanced. the strongest characters got nerfed, and you can replace on the ground which is back, because 8ing was stupid and decided not to put it in the last two games.
the single player campaign is terrible, you basically have to run through a maze and fight your supposed enemy, while fighting many generic ninjas in the process... this can be remedied by simply double jumping over the swarm of generic ninjas... there you beat it in 30 minutes.
overall, i think it's a fine game, from a fighting game enthusiast standpoint. it sucks if you're all about the fan service.
i give it a 7.
happy new year fellerz.
-m
Dec 26, 2008
fate/unlimited codes
i promise you this will be brief.
based on an eroge thinger by type-moon, this is a 2-d fighter made by cavia, 8ing and type-moon. it's published by capcom as well so is that like, awesome?
actually, it isn't that great.
you see, i'll play any fighter thrown at me, thing is, it just doesn't appeal to me.
the fighting system is reminiscent of the naruto gekitou ninja taisen series, only less simplified, it's also like a 3-d version of melty blood (a game which i actually like..)
it's an expected fighting system.
in general it's a fighting game for hardcore wapanese weeaboos who'll probably summon the wrath of fart ninjas should they read me review.
it's average...
VERY AVERAGE.
6/10
combos are interesting to pull off, and don't necesarily require me bashing the controller against my ass to get something cool, they're actually hard to pull off...
also note, that i don't support buying games for playstation 2, ('cept for yakuza 2 which is awesome sauce) because i have all of my "arrgghhh me matey" tools to get everything for free.
yes, i would download a car if i had the technology/tools to do it dumbass.
k, i'm gonna enjoy the rest of my break, happy holidays to all.
-m
based on an eroge thinger by type-moon, this is a 2-d fighter made by cavia, 8ing and type-moon. it's published by capcom as well so is that like, awesome?
actually, it isn't that great.
you see, i'll play any fighter thrown at me, thing is, it just doesn't appeal to me.
the fighting system is reminiscent of the naruto gekitou ninja taisen series, only less simplified, it's also like a 3-d version of melty blood (a game which i actually like..)
it's an expected fighting system.
in general it's a fighting game for hardcore wapanese weeaboos who'll probably summon the wrath of fart ninjas should they read me review.
it's average...
VERY AVERAGE.
6/10
combos are interesting to pull off, and don't necesarily require me bashing the controller against my ass to get something cool, they're actually hard to pull off...
also note, that i don't support buying games for playstation 2, ('cept for yakuza 2 which is awesome sauce) because i have all of my "arrgghhh me matey" tools to get everything for free.
yes, i would download a car if i had the technology/tools to do it dumbass.
k, i'm gonna enjoy the rest of my break, happy holidays to all.
-m
Dec 25, 2008
Worst of 08
Some of my worst experiences of the year. Discuss.
1. Worst game I actually had high expectations from: Silent Jill Origins (PS2)
2. Lousiest song I heard in 2008: I'm afraid I only had 6 very good songs on infinite loop in my playlist the whole year :(
3. Least enjoyable movie theater experience: 007 Quantum of Solace 007
4. Least enjoyable in-movie snack: The Inedible Popcorn during The Incredible Hulk
5. Worst book I read.. well, tried to read this year: Marketing Management by Philip Kotler
6. Least enjoyable movie experience at home: The Dark Knight
7. Biggest gripe of 2008: I have one full year of MBA studies remaining
8. Most boring cartoon of 2008: Kung Poo Panda
9. Worst WWE moment: All of them
10. Worst FINAL FANTASY XII moment: The last time I played the game was in Feb 2008. So last week I felt like resuming my 35-hour save-game. And so I started off, and after 45 minutes of grinding and finally getting the GAME OVER / YOU LOSE screen, I remembered exactly why the hell I never played this game since Feb 2008.
@#$%!
1. Worst game I actually had high expectations from: Silent Jill Origins (PS2)
2. Lousiest song I heard in 2008: I'm afraid I only had 6 very good songs on infinite loop in my playlist the whole year :(
3. Least enjoyable movie theater experience: 007 Quantum of Solace 007
4. Least enjoyable in-movie snack: The Inedible Popcorn during The Incredible Hulk
5. Worst book I read.. well, tried to read this year: Marketing Management by Philip Kotler
6. Least enjoyable movie experience at home: The Dark Knight
7. Biggest gripe of 2008: I have one full year of MBA studies remaining
8. Most boring cartoon of 2008: Kung Poo Panda
9. Worst WWE moment: All of them
10. Worst FINAL FANTASY XII moment: The last time I played the game was in Feb 2008. So last week I felt like resuming my 35-hour save-game. And so I started off, and after 45 minutes of grinding and finally getting the GAME OVER / YOU LOSE screen, I remembered exactly why the hell I never played this game since Feb 2008.
@#$%!
Dec 13, 2008
tatsunoko vs. capcom review
didn't i promise this sometime ago?
anyway, i finally snagged a copy of this game last night, after work.
i have the righteous story posted on gamefaqs, so you guys can read that part there...
i originally wanted to tell this review in pictures, but i'm too tired.
first off, if you ever plan on buying this game, you need one of the following:
- japanese wii
- mod chip
- wiibrew/gecko os loader
- wii freeloader (only works with firmware 3.2 and lower.)
if you have any of those, you're good to go.
from the start, you get 18 characters, you can unlock an additional 4 characters with points you win from completing game modes such as:
arcade
time attack
survival
and,
mini-game mode
there are also other modes like training, versus, options, you know the standard 2-d fighter deal.
gameplay is provided via 4 button control scheme, you have a partner button, a weak attack, a medium attack and a strong attack. this may turn off gamers that are used to playing with a 6-button set up, though i admit, at first i was a bit turned off by the set-up, as time with the game progressed it became second nature, and actually feels right with this game.
you can also do the following:
aerial raves (air combos)
tag out aerial (V. Aerial Rave)
baroque (cancels out of a combo, requires red health to execute.)
mega crash (TvC's version of GG's burst)
double team supers
delayed team supers
regular supers
double jumping
triple jumping (for a few characters)
dashing
air dashing
push blocking (or advanced guard)
you put all of this stuff together, and you have one pretty sweet fighter.
the different options of movement, and how to win a match really makes up for the lack of a 6 button control scheme.
you have pretty much a one, two punch, flashy visuals, combos, solid control set-up, very responsive, fast paced fighting. this is marvel vs. capcom without the marvel, and a wii-exclusive.
you have 18 characters to start, 16 regular characters, 2 giant characters (which require no partner to use since they take up most of the screen.) and four additional characters that will not be in the arcade versions of this game.
after playing this game for about a day and a half, this is wii's best fighter, hands down. the options of movement, the quick, responsive controls, awesome characters (even better tatsunoko characters, most of tatsunoko's cast trumps over capcom's in terms gameplay.)
it's so user friendly, it's insane, but if you have some good competition (i.e. force a friend to play with you.) it's a total blast.
the music is comprised of remixes from various capcom titles, and the theme songs from which the tatsunoko characters represent. and it works, i especially like those classic tatsunoko themes, in all of their 70's glory.
the capcom themes aren't bad either, but i won't say anything because, well, you've heard them before..
and alex has his 2 boots 2 da mouf move, which is a super duper plus. have you ever seen a fast grappler? 8ing/capcom pretty much gave alex a crapload of crystal meth, and a 24 pack of redbull all mixed in a giant container for alex to drink in one shot.
so if you like capcom crossovers, mahvel style gameplay, scoops haagen daz and curleh mustaches, give this game a shot.
9.5 (i would give it a 9.0 but read my story on gamefaqs on how i got this game, it was epic win, so it deserves .5 higher...for that alone.)
oh, and the boss is a little biggity *****, you thought abyss was easy? oohhh maaannn...
if you're looking to import, you won't be disappointed.
anyway, i finally snagged a copy of this game last night, after work.
i have the righteous story posted on gamefaqs, so you guys can read that part there...
i originally wanted to tell this review in pictures, but i'm too tired.
first off, if you ever plan on buying this game, you need one of the following:
- japanese wii
- mod chip
- wiibrew/gecko os loader
- wii freeloader (only works with firmware 3.2 and lower.)
if you have any of those, you're good to go.
from the start, you get 18 characters, you can unlock an additional 4 characters with points you win from completing game modes such as:
arcade
time attack
survival
and,
mini-game mode
there are also other modes like training, versus, options, you know the standard 2-d fighter deal.
gameplay is provided via 4 button control scheme, you have a partner button, a weak attack, a medium attack and a strong attack. this may turn off gamers that are used to playing with a 6-button set up, though i admit, at first i was a bit turned off by the set-up, as time with the game progressed it became second nature, and actually feels right with this game.
you can also do the following:
aerial raves (air combos)
tag out aerial (V. Aerial Rave)
baroque (cancels out of a combo, requires red health to execute.)
mega crash (TvC's version of GG's burst)
double team supers
delayed team supers
regular supers
double jumping
triple jumping (for a few characters)
dashing
air dashing
push blocking (or advanced guard)
you put all of this stuff together, and you have one pretty sweet fighter.
the different options of movement, and how to win a match really makes up for the lack of a 6 button control scheme.
you have pretty much a one, two punch, flashy visuals, combos, solid control set-up, very responsive, fast paced fighting. this is marvel vs. capcom without the marvel, and a wii-exclusive.
you have 18 characters to start, 16 regular characters, 2 giant characters (which require no partner to use since they take up most of the screen.) and four additional characters that will not be in the arcade versions of this game.
after playing this game for about a day and a half, this is wii's best fighter, hands down. the options of movement, the quick, responsive controls, awesome characters (even better tatsunoko characters, most of tatsunoko's cast trumps over capcom's in terms gameplay.)
it's so user friendly, it's insane, but if you have some good competition (i.e. force a friend to play with you.) it's a total blast.
the music is comprised of remixes from various capcom titles, and the theme songs from which the tatsunoko characters represent. and it works, i especially like those classic tatsunoko themes, in all of their 70's glory.
the capcom themes aren't bad either, but i won't say anything because, well, you've heard them before..
and alex has his 2 boots 2 da mouf move, which is a super duper plus. have you ever seen a fast grappler? 8ing/capcom pretty much gave alex a crapload of crystal meth, and a 24 pack of redbull all mixed in a giant container for alex to drink in one shot.
so if you like capcom crossovers, mahvel style gameplay, scoops haagen daz and curleh mustaches, give this game a shot.
9.5 (i would give it a 9.0 but read my story on gamefaqs on how i got this game, it was epic win, so it deserves .5 higher...for that alone.)
oh, and the boss is a little biggity *****, you thought abyss was easy? oohhh maaannn...
if you're looking to import, you won't be disappointed.
Dec 11, 2008
DEAF NOTE ver.2
I liked DEATH NOTE so much, I got an IRON MAN poster.It's been a super-long while since I watched an anime that was actually worth remembering. No, I'm not talking about SAILOR MOON. Well then again, I still remember that garbage, so maybe I am.
But I'm really talking about DEATH NOTE, of course. This was originally a manga AKA Japanese comicbook that used to appear in JUMP WEEKLY. It's now available all over for illegal downloading. I'm sure you really want to know who wrote and drew this series. And lemme tell you a secret: it wasn't me.
The manga was eventually translated into an anime series, which was then translated into English and made available on DVD and illegal Torrents. The English-version happens to be one of the very few animes that is actually very well done. (And available on illegal Torrents.)
Synopsis
Light Yagami is a genius highschool kid. One fine day, he comes across a notebook falling from the sky. Picks it up. It's your standard DEATH NOTE, you know, the book that belongs to a Shinigami. Write the name of a person with her / his picture in your mind, and that person is instantly KO'd. I know 10 people who'd love to do that to me.
So Light starts killing off criminals appearing in the news on TV or on the Internet or in the papers. He starts to like it and continues to write criminals' names in his book. This is his form of justice. LOL Light for prez.
Soon the police wisen up and realize that all these deaths cannot be, like, a normal thing to happen. And they call in the greatest detective in the world - the mysterious L - to figure this out and see if there is a serial killer lurking behind the scenes.
The story heats up just in the second episode as Light and L constantly challenge each other to find out who the other person is. This goes on for the first 5 DVDs, until the story completely changes in the next 4 or 5 DVDs.
Score
Great musical score throughout, except for the intro/ending songs for season 2 which are downright horrible. For season 1, the intro/ending songs are simply fantastic.
As for non-musical score, this is the best anime I've ever seen in my life and gets a 10/10. You should watch it yesterday.
Spoiler
YAGAMI spelled backwards. It applied to EYEORI, and it applies just as well to LIGHT.
But I'm really talking about DEATH NOTE, of course. This was originally a manga AKA Japanese comicbook that used to appear in JUMP WEEKLY. It's now available all over for illegal downloading. I'm sure you really want to know who wrote and drew this series. And lemme tell you a secret: it wasn't me.
The manga was eventually translated into an anime series, which was then translated into English and made available on DVD and illegal Torrents. The English-version happens to be one of the very few animes that is actually very well done. (And available on illegal Torrents.)
Synopsis
Light Yagami is a genius highschool kid. One fine day, he comes across a notebook falling from the sky. Picks it up. It's your standard DEATH NOTE, you know, the book that belongs to a Shinigami. Write the name of a person with her / his picture in your mind, and that person is instantly KO'd. I know 10 people who'd love to do that to me.
So Light starts killing off criminals appearing in the news on TV or on the Internet or in the papers. He starts to like it and continues to write criminals' names in his book. This is his form of justice. LOL Light for prez.
Soon the police wisen up and realize that all these deaths cannot be, like, a normal thing to happen. And they call in the greatest detective in the world - the mysterious L - to figure this out and see if there is a serial killer lurking behind the scenes.
The story heats up just in the second episode as Light and L constantly challenge each other to find out who the other person is. This goes on for the first 5 DVDs, until the story completely changes in the next 4 or 5 DVDs.
Score
Great musical score throughout, except for the intro/ending songs for season 2 which are downright horrible. For season 1, the intro/ending songs are simply fantastic.
As for non-musical score, this is the best anime I've ever seen in my life and gets a 10/10. You should watch it yesterday.
Spoiler
YAGAMI spelled backwards. It applied to EYEORI, and it applies just as well to LIGHT.
I also got one for DEATH NOTE.
Dec 10, 2008
Best Of 08
should be coming soon. I have kind of a lot to say, so it will probably take a while to put together.
Dec 6, 2008
Nov 29, 2008
count em' chumps, 2 new reviews.
happy belated thanksgiving everybody, here's a quickie of what i think is good or bad.
first up, super street fighter II turbo hd remix.
WOW, it looks slick, it plays just as good, properties have been changed as well, for the sake of fairness. some of these changes are balrog and dahlsim's infinite throws, t-hawk's diving move, akuma's brute strength... there also have been some input command changes, like guile's super, t-hawks double circle commands, zangief's spinning lariat.
overall, if you're a serious tourney player, or even a casual fighting gamer, this game may tickle your fancy.
it's a great teaser before street fighter iv hits consoles in february.
sonic unleashed for the 360.
it's madness, it's sparta.
this version obviously trumps the wii's in terms of well, everything. you get the complete experience, the way it was meant to be played, super dizzying fast, with more daytime levels than night-time ones, gorgeous backdrops and level design (though some could be questioned, but i'm not complaining..) they're a lot of quick time events in the game too.. putting more emphasis on that classic "be on your toes" approach the classic sonic games were known for.
i really don't understand the semi-alright reviews this game is getting, i mean, i could understand thew wii version, but the 360 version??
did i mention that the music was great too?
if you're a sonic fan, and hated sonic 06 and shadow the hedgehog, check this one out, you're defintely going to have fun with this game.
it's awesome sonic team.
now, hit one out of the ball park.
first up, super street fighter II turbo hd remix.
WOW, it looks slick, it plays just as good, properties have been changed as well, for the sake of fairness. some of these changes are balrog and dahlsim's infinite throws, t-hawk's diving move, akuma's brute strength... there also have been some input command changes, like guile's super, t-hawks double circle commands, zangief's spinning lariat.
overall, if you're a serious tourney player, or even a casual fighting gamer, this game may tickle your fancy.
it's a great teaser before street fighter iv hits consoles in february.
sonic unleashed for the 360.
it's madness, it's sparta.
this version obviously trumps the wii's in terms of well, everything. you get the complete experience, the way it was meant to be played, super dizzying fast, with more daytime levels than night-time ones, gorgeous backdrops and level design (though some could be questioned, but i'm not complaining..) they're a lot of quick time events in the game too.. putting more emphasis on that classic "be on your toes" approach the classic sonic games were known for.
i really don't understand the semi-alright reviews this game is getting, i mean, i could understand thew wii version, but the 360 version??
did i mention that the music was great too?
if you're a sonic fan, and hated sonic 06 and shadow the hedgehog, check this one out, you're defintely going to have fun with this game.
it's awesome sonic team.
now, hit one out of the ball park.
Nov 22, 2008
Playstation Home
the beta for Playstation Home has launched, and maybe i got a beta code but i`m probably not supposed to talk about it. all i`m going to say is i`m standing in a bare bones apartment with sage green walls doing the running man while i go take a shower for real
~maxie
~maxie
Nov 21, 2008
sonic unleashed and skate it in a few sentences...probably not.
sonic unleashed would've been the best game ever had sonic team focused more on the day-time levels. the werehog levels aren't bad, it just slows down the pacing A LOOOOTT... and it doesn't make it any better that sonic team basically tries to shove the werehog concept down your throat by making you play more night-time acts than day-time acts. but it's really cool to bash the **** out of your enemies while flailing your wii-mote/ nunchuck up and down like a kid with down syndrome, it's satifying in that aspect, the platforming is solid, though it's nothing TOO OMGZREVOLUTIONARIEZ.
over all, this game could've gotten a really high score from me, honestly, but i'd give it an 8. had it not been for the over abundance of werehog levels, this game would've easily been a 9, maybe higher. this is coming from a sonic fan, and it seems to me that sonic team is finally getting it. no cheap deaths, the camera is solid, the controls are solid, the music is awesome, gone are the 80's hard rock stylings of passed sonic games, and in are more traditional sonic themed levels.
they got the engine right, if only sonic team did away with their tendancy to disappoint...
skate it is a great skateboarding game on the wii. probably the best, and probably a little easier to play on the wii that a 360 or ps3. san vanelona has experienced a set of natural disasters destroying the city in the process, now you and your camera guy are left to skate san vanelona, as well as other real world locales.
the control scheme is every bit as rewarding than the 360 and ps3 iterations, feeling that with every bail on the board, you feel the need to nail that trick.
the levels aren't whacky or anything, they're pretty much built to skate in. nothing fancy, this is all about your precision and timing, but if you get extra creative, nothing's impossible.
this is a great way to wet your palette before skate 2 comes out.
my only negative for the game. considering that games like mario galaxy, smash bros. brawl, the legend of zelda, and sonic unleashed look great on the system, EA really doesn't have any excuse for making this game look sub-par.
very washed out visuals, and unproportinal bodies are a real drag considering what the wii is truly capable of the that department.
but the gameplay is there, and that's what really counts right?
8.5
any skating fan who is tired of the tony hawk games in general should give this one a whirl.
no bogus journey review because my next review(s) will be on:
sonic unleashed 360
prince of persia 360
tatsunoko vs. capcom
i'm also heading down to chinatown fair after this little get together with my art buddies is over with, and i'll prolly press my luck in street fighter iv.
maybe a short review there??
who knows, but the three games that i've posted are definitely going up there soon.
-m
over all, this game could've gotten a really high score from me, honestly, but i'd give it an 8. had it not been for the over abundance of werehog levels, this game would've easily been a 9, maybe higher. this is coming from a sonic fan, and it seems to me that sonic team is finally getting it. no cheap deaths, the camera is solid, the controls are solid, the music is awesome, gone are the 80's hard rock stylings of passed sonic games, and in are more traditional sonic themed levels.
they got the engine right, if only sonic team did away with their tendancy to disappoint...
skate it is a great skateboarding game on the wii. probably the best, and probably a little easier to play on the wii that a 360 or ps3. san vanelona has experienced a set of natural disasters destroying the city in the process, now you and your camera guy are left to skate san vanelona, as well as other real world locales.
the control scheme is every bit as rewarding than the 360 and ps3 iterations, feeling that with every bail on the board, you feel the need to nail that trick.
the levels aren't whacky or anything, they're pretty much built to skate in. nothing fancy, this is all about your precision and timing, but if you get extra creative, nothing's impossible.
this is a great way to wet your palette before skate 2 comes out.
my only negative for the game. considering that games like mario galaxy, smash bros. brawl, the legend of zelda, and sonic unleashed look great on the system, EA really doesn't have any excuse for making this game look sub-par.
very washed out visuals, and unproportinal bodies are a real drag considering what the wii is truly capable of the that department.
but the gameplay is there, and that's what really counts right?
8.5
any skating fan who is tired of the tony hawk games in general should give this one a whirl.
no bogus journey review because my next review(s) will be on:
sonic unleashed 360
prince of persia 360
tatsunoko vs. capcom
i'm also heading down to chinatown fair after this little get together with my art buddies is over with, and i'll prolly press my luck in street fighter iv.
maybe a short review there??
who knows, but the three games that i've posted are definitely going up there soon.
-m
Nov 18, 2008
Max Payne VS Hitman (not starring TOM CRAPPY)
Hitman, movie review
I'm not a big fan of the HITMAN videogame series. I remember playing BLOOD MONEY for a whole hour and not liking the experience at all.
The movie is no better either. The movie's only saving grace is Olga Kurylenko, who for some oddball reason strikes to me as quite appealing. But hey, not in this movie. In this movie, she looks like a junkie whom I don't want to know, ever.
Oh yeah, and Timothy Olyphant (who?) plays the character of HITMAN, AKA Agent 47.
Concept: Agent 47 didn't follow orders, so his agency wants to get him killed.
Action: They hire 400 bald extras.
Consequence: Agent 47 kills everyone.
Score: 4/10
Max Payne, movie review
I'm not a big fan of the MAX PAYNE videogame series. I remember playing THE FALL OF MAX PAYNE for a whole hour and not liking the experience at all.
John Cena is not Matt Damon is not Mark Wahlberg is MAX PAYNE are all lookalikes. This is another movie based on a similar videogame. With Olga Kurylenko.
(I swear, I only saw this movie for Olga Kurylenko.)
((Spoiler: she dies in like 10 minutes.))
(((Another spoiler: this movie dies in 20 minutes. )))
Concept: MAX is a quiet police detective secretly looking for his wife and baby's killer.
Action: The killer conveniently pops into the open after maybe 10 years of hiding.
Consequence: MAX kills everyone.
Score: 4/10
I'm not a big fan of the HITMAN videogame series. I remember playing BLOOD MONEY for a whole hour and not liking the experience at all.
The movie is no better either. The movie's only saving grace is Olga Kurylenko, who for some oddball reason strikes to me as quite appealing. But hey, not in this movie. In this movie, she looks like a junkie whom I don't want to know, ever.
Oh yeah, and Timothy Olyphant (who?) plays the character of HITMAN, AKA Agent 47.
Concept: Agent 47 didn't follow orders, so his agency wants to get him killed.
Action: They hire 400 bald extras.
Consequence: Agent 47 kills everyone.
Score: 4/10
Max Payne, movie review
I'm not a big fan of the MAX PAYNE videogame series. I remember playing THE FALL OF MAX PAYNE for a whole hour and not liking the experience at all.
John Cena is not Matt Damon is not Mark Wahlberg is MAX PAYNE are all lookalikes. This is another movie based on a similar videogame. With Olga Kurylenko.
(I swear, I only saw this movie for Olga Kurylenko.)
((Spoiler: she dies in like 10 minutes.))
(((Another spoiler: this movie dies in 20 minutes. )))
Concept: MAX is a quiet police detective secretly looking for his wife and baby's killer.
Action: The killer conveniently pops into the open after maybe 10 years of hiding.
Consequence: MAX kills everyone.
Score: 4/10
Nov 16, 2008
Quantum of No-sense
Movie review for JAMES BOND 007 in QUANTUM OF SOLACE (2008)
heatingpad and I met up today after like 2 weeks at the movies. This review is based on our many random conversations.
heatingpad and I met up today after like 2 weeks at the movies. This review is based on our many random conversations.
Ebert and Roeper Jr.
"We still have 1/2 an hour before the movie starts. You wanna have drinks now?"
"We still have 1/2 an hour man. You wanna pose next to this 007 poster?"
"I'm gonna go find the bathroom."
"How about next to this Indian movie poster?"
"Shut the hell up."
"We shouldn't have had seafood before this movie."
"Yeah, Quantum of Seafood."
"Man, I will never live this down. Being body-searched by a security guard."
"You should've told him you left the bomb in your other pants."
"Ugh. I'm taking a shower the moment I get home."
"Not a cold shower, I hope."
"Yeah, shut up."
"They say Olga Kurylenko is the worst Bond girl."
"They should read the movie title again: it's James Bond. Not Bond Girls!"
"They should make a Bond Girls 008 movie."
"You know what, that will be much better."
"I can't believe these Indian movies. They make me wanna pop a cap in my head."
"Give them some credit, they're the only ones proud of making gay movies."
"Do you want popcorn?"
"I'm happy with Coke."
"Is that legal?"
"I meant Coke, upsized."
"How about candy?"
"It's pricey, and we're 2 guys, so maybe no."
"I meant, you can take some back for your baby niece."
"I don't think she's old enough, just like you're not old enough for Indian movies."
"How about popcorn?"
"Hey it says here, ladies should have their handbags checked at the security area. Did you remember to do that?"
"Hey look, rule no.6 says, no knives or guns can be carried inside."
There was something else heatingpad said after this, but I forgot what it was. And it wasn't funny anyway.
"Rule no.4 says, laser pointers are not allowed inside. So I guess we won't find IRON MAN in there."
"..."
"..."
"Haha!"
"Why did we get designated seats? This isn't highschool!"
"We're in a guys-only row. I'm going to yell out "no more guys!" to the usher."
"Next time I'm gonna ask for tickets in a girls-only row."
"Good news dude, your annoying lil cousin can't sit up in front of us, all the seats are taken!"
"What about behind us?"
"Oh ####!"
"Dude, they totally destroyed like 5 BMWs in the first 10 minutes!"
"I can't believe they're allowed to show this. And everyone's watching."
"Shut up, I'm trying to watch."
"What did he just say?"
"Who cares."
"This movie isn't really all that great."
"At least they didn't cut the hotel scene, which is obviously what everyone came for anyway."
"What hotel scene?"
"The camera was shaking and blurring like crazy in a lot of scenes. How did he stop the second boat?"
"He took an anchor, and then the camera shook a whole lot while zooming in all the way, and BOOM. Pretty simple."
"What the hell was going on?"
"Hey, I understood everything. Like, the direction was terrible and the plot sucked."
"I'm going to read Ebert's review for this movie."
"I think I read a little bit of it, and he wasn't very happy."
"I'm going to write a review for this movie now."
"Call it Quantum of No-sense."
"I'm probably going to give it a 5.5 or a 6."
"Yeah, seriously."
Someone left the barf-bag in his other pants.
Nov 15, 2008
Call of Doodie: Whirl in Toilet
this game is no good, pal
you can`t even 4 player split screen zombie mode, but you can in Death Match
eat a ding dong a long, CoD (crap on delivery)
you can`t even 4 player split screen zombie mode, but you can in Death Match
eat a ding dong a long, CoD (crap on delivery)
i actually went out and bought yakuza 2.
and i'm loving every minute of it.
it's just as solid as the first game, the fighting system brutal, there's more twists and turns in the plot than a standard sonic the hedgehog zone, the voice acting is top notch, the mini-games are even better. so much to do on this disc.
if you like brawlers, go buy this damn game, hell, if you like great games, and are probably tired of the first person shooters that currently make up for 95% of the video game market, buy this game.
it's just as solid as the first game, the fighting system brutal, there's more twists and turns in the plot than a standard sonic the hedgehog zone, the voice acting is top notch, the mini-games are even better. so much to do on this disc.
if you like brawlers, go buy this damn game, hell, if you like great games, and are probably tired of the first person shooters that currently make up for 95% of the video game market, buy this game.
Nov 14, 2008
Call of Duty: World at War
more like: Call of Your Squad Doesn`t Have Real Bullets and You Get Killed by Grenades Every 5 Seconds
this game is so unreal unforgiving and the AI of your squad mates is literally the worst i have ever seen. ever. they shoot their guns non-stop, but they never hit ANYTHING they should be. i had 4 guys shooting a tractor for about 5 minutes while i tried to kill 20 people myself. and don`t get me started on the tank level for the Russians. here are they, starting their big push into Germany. apparently with ONE GUY IN A TANK.
well, here we are, in Germany. better let that one guy who was in the tank have all the real bullets, we will just be using blanks apparently. i had to test this, so i sat back and let my fellow soldiers go to work on a ton of nazis for a few minutes. they didn`t kill a single nazi soldier. NOT ONE. instead they opted to jam their muzzles into sandbags and unload magazine after magazine. they are also a huge fan of getting shot.
the enemy AI, on the other hand. total pricks. first of all, they obviously know you are the only guy with actual bullets, because you are the guy they are gunning for. oh, a flame-tank is driving through the japanese trench lines? nah, shoot the guy who is 50 yards away. and while you`re at it, throw like 15 grenades at him. thats what happened in WW2 right? people threw dozens of grenades at a time towards a single soldier?
oh, and every time i have died it said "WATCH FOR THE GRENADE INDICATOR!" ps: it doesn`t show up most of the time.
also, all the weapons in this game look like ass.
i am only sticking with it to the finish because i want to unlock the ZOMBIE mode, which had better be pretty damn amazing.
~Maxie
this game is so unreal unforgiving and the AI of your squad mates is literally the worst i have ever seen. ever. they shoot their guns non-stop, but they never hit ANYTHING they should be. i had 4 guys shooting a tractor for about 5 minutes while i tried to kill 20 people myself. and don`t get me started on the tank level for the Russians. here are they, starting their big push into Germany. apparently with ONE GUY IN A TANK.
well, here we are, in Germany. better let that one guy who was in the tank have all the real bullets, we will just be using blanks apparently. i had to test this, so i sat back and let my fellow soldiers go to work on a ton of nazis for a few minutes. they didn`t kill a single nazi soldier. NOT ONE. instead they opted to jam their muzzles into sandbags and unload magazine after magazine. they are also a huge fan of getting shot.
the enemy AI, on the other hand. total pricks. first of all, they obviously know you are the only guy with actual bullets, because you are the guy they are gunning for. oh, a flame-tank is driving through the japanese trench lines? nah, shoot the guy who is 50 yards away. and while you`re at it, throw like 15 grenades at him. thats what happened in WW2 right? people threw dozens of grenades at a time towards a single soldier?
oh, and every time i have died it said "WATCH FOR THE GRENADE INDICATOR!" ps: it doesn`t show up most of the time.
also, all the weapons in this game look like ass.
i am only sticking with it to the finish because i want to unlock the ZOMBIE mode, which had better be pretty damn amazing.
~Maxie
Nov 12, 2008
Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia
Anyways having recently completed the game, with a joke of a last boss, I was wondering what the hell Konami was thinking. The game overall is great and very challenging which SOME PEOPLE have an issue understanding as to why the game is so difficult but it has some serious flaws in the gameplay depth. There are lack of uniquely new weapons and abilities and the first weapon is just about the same as the second one. Honestly I kept wondering why my Macir glyph was not doing enough damage on Eligor until I noticed it was Vol Macir not Melio Macir I had equipped. Go figure. Sometimes I wonder what Konami was smoking while making the game but whatever it’s up to them.
Graphics: 9/10
This is one of the best looking Castlevania on the NDS so far. It has an amazing blend of 2D and 3D graphics which makes it much more unique as compared to the previous castlevania’s which felt like the same games only with different sprites. The enemies have also been redone and look much better in looking and killing them. The background, especially in the water levels, are absolutely amazing where you can see the tide rise and fall in the back which is affecting the actual game as well. It is actually very visually appealing to play the game although some of the areas seem a little too similar which seems to imply laziness on Konami’s part.
Sound: 7/10
To be perfectly honest the soundtrack in this game is as amazing as some of the previous games but it does nothing to really make itself stand out. It sometimes feels like “wait didn’t I just hear that track?” But maybe that’s just me. I did expect something like SoTN but honestly that isn’t going to happen. But still the soundtrack is great there is no denying that but I truly wish it was something amazing.
Story 4/10
Well you have to give Konami some props for not making such a crappy story such as PoR. This story itself is quite simple yet interesting. You play the part of Shanoa, who is part of the organization called Ecclesia. The game begins with Shanoa ready to perform a ritual to become the weapon to stop Dracula. (Yay?) The ritual is interrupted by Shanoa’s friend Albus who wants the power for himself. Then the game goes blank and you wake up to find out all your memories are gone and your retraining to go after Albus and reclaim the power to stop Dracula. Yea well that’s not too exciting and the story is predictable for someone with half a brain.
Gameplay 7/10
Ah the real reason for actually playing a Castlevania game has arrived with a brand new glyph system. The game works as such: you can equip 3 glyphs total; two on your arms and one on your back. The ones on your arms are used for attacking and the one on the back is for support glyphs. You equip the glyphs on the X and Y buttons and press the respective buttons to use them. The L button is for your back glyph which can do anything from increase your Intelligence to summon a familiar. The X and Y button can be used to combo (more like spam) the weapons over and over which consume MP per use. Your MP also recovers over time (very quickly too) allowing you to spam attacks over and over as long as you’re pressing X and Y in synch. That leaves out the hearts which are used for the new glyph union function (press and hold up and press y). Glyph union allows you to combine both the glyphs equipped on your arms for a combination attack that most of the times cover more than half the screen. For example you have Macir and Macir equipped on your arms and you use glyph union, you’ll do a gigantic hammer attack that hits about half the screen. Simple yet effective.
Glyphs can be obtained from enemies but are not as abundant as the souls in Dawn of Sorrow. You’ll find yourself using a few goods one and leaving the majority of others in your inventory never to see the light of day. Although the familiars are fun to use you’ll find leveling them takes either hundreds of enemy kills or having to spend time absorbing the same glyph over and over to level them. All the while during boss fights you’re going to be using an Intelligence boosting glyph instead of a familiar.
Glyph Unions are also very limited. There’s about a total of 29 unions you can perform as Konami felt like not spending time giving the game a little more depth. Most of the unions are just for show but some of them are extremely over-powered given the right conditions. Honestly I killed death in 4 hits so that should give you some idea about it.
The biggest issue most people seem to have with OOE is the difficulty. A lot of people have been complaining about how tough the game is or how stupid a certain part it and all I have to say to them is go complain to someone who cares. I’ve been waiting so long for a difficult game to play it’s not even funny. It seems like good old days are gone and games suck so much that they need games to be made easier for them. For me I believe that the difficulty of this game was perfect and I have all the boss medals to prove it. Not to mention hard more 1 and hard more 225 are even better. Unlike previous castlevania’s where bosses were a joke in this one they are actually a challenge. You need to fight them a few times to understand their patterns and them go in for the kill. Enemies possess certain weaknesses as well but that isn’t that big of an issue as most people seem to complain about. Whenever you enter into a new area there are almost always new glyphs to get that actually make the area much easier. You just have to be smart about what you use most of the glyphs suck and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out which ones. Then the good ones are just that good. Stick with the good ones and ditch the rest it’s that simple.
Exploration 6/10
Unlike previous castlevania’s this one is quite linear which, is quite a bit of a turnoff for some gamers. I enjoyed the fact that areas were separated but there I sometimes felt like I didn’t get to do any exploration until the last stage. The fact that each areas map was separated made it much easier to find hidden areas and the overall change of pace from previous Castlevania games was much more fun. The new area by area system is a somewhat new concept to the Castlevania games somewhat like Lament of Innocence for the PS2, although it was done much better in Lament of Innocence. It seemed like Konami just put together certain areas in their sleep and approved them.
Conclusion
A very new concept by Konami which had some very unique features but the game itself felt rushed and could have been much better with a few adjustments. All in all it’s worth a buy if you’re a Castlevania fan nothing revolutionary but fun to spend some time on. My one question for Konami would be “What the hell were you guys smoking?”
Overall Score 6.5/10
Nov 9, 2008
super quick reviews
Fallout 3: the game that gets worse the more you play it, but never gets too bad. 7.5/10
Fable 2: it`s a lot like Fable 1, only good. 8/10
Gears of War 2: it`s pretty much Gears of War with new enemies and guns, and some color. 8.5/10
~Maxie
Fable 2: it`s a lot like Fable 1, only good. 8/10
Gears of War 2: it`s pretty much Gears of War with new enemies and guns, and some color. 8.5/10
~Maxie
Nov 1, 2008
zack and miri make a porno
saw it last night with a friend of mine, what made the experience better was that the theatre's architecture was very well planned and that the balcony seats were stadium seated unlike it's ground level. god i love new york city cinemas...
it was halloween, the costume parades were well under way, all over from union square park, and all over the fashion district.
this film, to my surprise was a product of kevin smith (clerks, dogma, chasing amy) and to my surprise, this film steered away from his view askewniverse.... this proves that he can successfully create a comedy without relying on his old bag of tricks.
it's sweet, it's raunchy (probably his most raunchy work to date.) and most importantly, one of the funniest movies i have ever had the privilege of watching this year, there were scenes in this film that made me laugh to the point of tears.
but i'm saying too much.
go watch it, and see for yourself. if you love comedy, especially kevin smith's style of comedy, this is the film for you, that times 10.
it was halloween, the costume parades were well under way, all over from union square park, and all over the fashion district.
this film, to my surprise was a product of kevin smith (clerks, dogma, chasing amy) and to my surprise, this film steered away from his view askewniverse.... this proves that he can successfully create a comedy without relying on his old bag of tricks.
it's sweet, it's raunchy (probably his most raunchy work to date.) and most importantly, one of the funniest movies i have ever had the privilege of watching this year, there were scenes in this film that made me laugh to the point of tears.
but i'm saying too much.
go watch it, and see for yourself. if you love comedy, especially kevin smith's style of comedy, this is the film for you, that times 10.
Oct 30, 2008
8 hours into C.VANIA ORDER OF ECCLLSCLMXVII
Judging from the preview videos and KONAMI's official press-articles, people were drooling over how awesome it would be for the main character SHANOA TWAIN to not have any weapons, and that instead of weapons, she would be using the glyph system. Getting to begin the game, I was guessing this would be something I'd never seen before.
10 minutes into the game -> Where's this new "system", and why am I still going into the same old equip / unequip menu for everything?
2 hours into the game -> So I guess I have no weapons now, but these "glyphs".. like um.. like a sword.. and a knife.. a rapier, an axe, a lance, basically everything that was there in the last 2 C.VANIA games. I guess the new "system" is that I should start pronouncing the word "weapon" as "glyph" from now on.
2 hours 10 minutes into the game -> CONTRA 4 was hard, but this game is simply tedious, annoying and frustrating. Because I have to switch weapons OOPS SORRY I MEAN GLYPHS every 5 seconds, because every single character in the whole game will have a different weakness. And the gameplay doesn't help because once again you get knocked into oblivion when hit during a jump. And if you're stuck "inside" a boss, or even a normal bad-dude, you get hit at least 4 times before you can manage to get away - and that equals to like 50-60% damage.
2 hours 12 minutes into the game -> I'm supposed to rescue the villagers and feel good about it, but here's what's really happening: everytime I save a villager or go talk to a villager, I'm skipping the dialogue and swearing at that villager IRL because i hate the way their faces are drawn. They all look sinister and evil, but SHANOA who's lost her memory is looking like the stupidest most ignorant character in the whole game who doesn't seem to know wtf is going on. Wtf KONAMI, are you trying to tell me that I'm stupid. Go stuff a VOL McMUFFIN up your glyph-hole.
3 hours into the game -> It's still like playing C.VANIA, only with crappy controls all over, like CRAPPYVANIA 1. I'm still constantly equipping and un-equipping weapons OOPS I MEAN GLYPHS, not to mention armor, headgear, boots and accessories. Where the [bleep!] is your [bleep!]ing "new system"?!
5 hours into the game -> Stupid enemy patterns, lousy controls and retarded AI. This is what's wrong with this game. The only new "system" I can see are the new characters, and better music & graphics. Aside from that, this game suffers from serious gameplay flaws, rushed programming, and very extremely bad game-testing, and is a severe disappointment as far as I'm concerned. I completely disagree with every single 8/ 9/ and 10/10 score it has got.
Last time I played it -> It's like playing MEGAMAN, but with swords and lances and hammers.
I mean GLYPHS.
10 minutes into the game -> Where's this new "system", and why am I still going into the same old equip / unequip menu for everything?
2 hours into the game -> So I guess I have no weapons now, but these "glyphs".. like um.. like a sword.. and a knife.. a rapier, an axe, a lance, basically everything that was there in the last 2 C.VANIA games. I guess the new "system" is that I should start pronouncing the word "weapon" as "glyph" from now on.
2 hours 10 minutes into the game -> CONTRA 4 was hard, but this game is simply tedious, annoying and frustrating. Because I have to switch weapons OOPS SORRY I MEAN GLYPHS every 5 seconds, because every single character in the whole game will have a different weakness. And the gameplay doesn't help because once again you get knocked into oblivion when hit during a jump. And if you're stuck "inside" a boss, or even a normal bad-dude, you get hit at least 4 times before you can manage to get away - and that equals to like 50-60% damage.
2 hours 12 minutes into the game -> I'm supposed to rescue the villagers and feel good about it, but here's what's really happening: everytime I save a villager or go talk to a villager, I'm skipping the dialogue and swearing at that villager IRL because i hate the way their faces are drawn. They all look sinister and evil, but SHANOA who's lost her memory is looking like the stupidest most ignorant character in the whole game who doesn't seem to know wtf is going on. Wtf KONAMI, are you trying to tell me that I'm stupid. Go stuff a VOL McMUFFIN up your glyph-hole.
3 hours into the game -> It's still like playing C.VANIA, only with crappy controls all over, like CRAPPYVANIA 1. I'm still constantly equipping and un-equipping weapons OOPS I MEAN GLYPHS, not to mention armor, headgear, boots and accessories. Where the [bleep!] is your [bleep!]ing "new system"?!
5 hours into the game -> Stupid enemy patterns, lousy controls and retarded AI. This is what's wrong with this game. The only new "system" I can see are the new characters, and better music & graphics. Aside from that, this game suffers from serious gameplay flaws, rushed programming, and very extremely bad game-testing, and is a severe disappointment as far as I'm concerned. I completely disagree with every single 8/ 9/ and 10/10 score it has got.
Last time I played it -> It's like playing MEGAMAN, but with swords and lances and hammers.
I mean GLYPHS.
Oct 25, 2008
NINTENDO SIXTY-FOOOOUUUURRRR
this is the only reason why i scoured the earth for a used N64. this problem could have been prevented had i not given away my original N64 to a friend later in my high school years, but unfortunately, i'm prone to make those mistakes multiple times, (i JUST got my ps2 back almost a year ago...after foolishly letting someone "keep" it.)
i got this N64 around the summer... and it was given to me with two controllers....nothing else. so when i had some extra cash to blow, i made my e-home at ebay, buying cartridges and other useful add-ons to my system, some of which included a memory card that i waited a month for, and having to order a totally new one because the one that was mailed to me crapped out a day after i recieved it. it was also a measly 123 pages....i decided to buy one with 4x the memory, and i've been super thrilled with it ever since.
the titles i ended up purchasing were:
- the mystical ninja: starring goemon
- goemon's great adventure
- wcw vs. nwo world tour
- wcw/nwo revenge (the guy i bought it off of eventually sent me another copy...i have two working copies of this game...neat.)
- wwf wrestlemania 2000
- wwf no mercy
- snowboard kids (in this case it was the japanese version, i bought it with a multi-region adapter for 35 dollars, no tax.)
- snowboard kids 2
- mega man legends (rockman dash in my case)
- star wars : shadows of the empire
- super smash bros.
- fighter's destiny
- hiryuu no ken (flying dragon)
the imports that i bought had ran me about 20 to 25 bucks each... not bad if i do say so myself.
i am currently looking for copies of virtual pro wrestling 64, and virtual pro wrestling 2....(VPW2 is the best 3-d wrestling game ever imho.)
i also have two controllers to play these suckers on.
it was like stepping into a time machine, and reliving my life as a 10-12 year old kid, remembering every song, input, path to these games..i was in awe, and this basically put my ps2 and DC on the back burner for a few months.
my reason for buying an N64 went as followed:
i was having a conversation with my brother about the good ol' days, he reminded me about the mystical ninja starring goemon, and i foamed at the mouth. this was an odd super japanese game that we both fell in love with 10 years ago, everything was great, the off-beat humor, the gameplay (which kinda resembles mario 64 and the ocarina of time), the plot, and the characters.
after a few hundred youtube videos later, i finally decided to buy an n64, SOLELY for goemon. but, after playing goemon, i found myself wanting to play the 2nd game in the 64 series, goemon's great adventure.. i ended up buy that, then i said to myself, "damn, i want to get all those game i always rented at blockbuster, but never actually bought..."
these titles were never bought due to cartridges being ridiculously bat-S*^% expensive, i remember MK Trilogy being 74 dollars when i bought it on christmas 1996. but now, since the system is long deas, and it's titles range from a few cents to about 40 dollars the most, it wouldn't hurt to finally buy all those titles that i always rented, but never bought.
the collection is not complete since i still need the following:
- chameleon twist 1 & 2
- clayfighter: sculptor's cut
- bomberman 64
- Virtual Pro Wrestling 2 (i played this on an emulator 3 years ago, and i've been looking for a reasonably priced cartridge of this for a few months...still no reasonble price.. :-( )
some titles that i owned on my 64 are on my wii, so i won't consider re-purchasing them.
to summerize this worthless pile of jargon:
n64 rules, even if it is a pain in the butt to re-locate every little add-on and hard to find cartridge. with my luck every game i ever loved was always an oddball game that you can't really find anymore.
- m
i got this N64 around the summer... and it was given to me with two controllers....nothing else. so when i had some extra cash to blow, i made my e-home at ebay, buying cartridges and other useful add-ons to my system, some of which included a memory card that i waited a month for, and having to order a totally new one because the one that was mailed to me crapped out a day after i recieved it. it was also a measly 123 pages....i decided to buy one with 4x the memory, and i've been super thrilled with it ever since.
the titles i ended up purchasing were:
- the mystical ninja: starring goemon
- goemon's great adventure
- wcw vs. nwo world tour
- wcw/nwo revenge (the guy i bought it off of eventually sent me another copy...i have two working copies of this game...neat.)
- wwf wrestlemania 2000
- wwf no mercy
- snowboard kids (in this case it was the japanese version, i bought it with a multi-region adapter for 35 dollars, no tax.)
- snowboard kids 2
- mega man legends (rockman dash in my case)
- star wars : shadows of the empire
- super smash bros.
- fighter's destiny
- hiryuu no ken (flying dragon)
the imports that i bought had ran me about 20 to 25 bucks each... not bad if i do say so myself.
i am currently looking for copies of virtual pro wrestling 64, and virtual pro wrestling 2....(VPW2 is the best 3-d wrestling game ever imho.)
i also have two controllers to play these suckers on.
it was like stepping into a time machine, and reliving my life as a 10-12 year old kid, remembering every song, input, path to these games..i was in awe, and this basically put my ps2 and DC on the back burner for a few months.
my reason for buying an N64 went as followed:
i was having a conversation with my brother about the good ol' days, he reminded me about the mystical ninja starring goemon, and i foamed at the mouth. this was an odd super japanese game that we both fell in love with 10 years ago, everything was great, the off-beat humor, the gameplay (which kinda resembles mario 64 and the ocarina of time), the plot, and the characters.
after a few hundred youtube videos later, i finally decided to buy an n64, SOLELY for goemon. but, after playing goemon, i found myself wanting to play the 2nd game in the 64 series, goemon's great adventure.. i ended up buy that, then i said to myself, "damn, i want to get all those game i always rented at blockbuster, but never actually bought..."
these titles were never bought due to cartridges being ridiculously bat-S*^% expensive, i remember MK Trilogy being 74 dollars when i bought it on christmas 1996. but now, since the system is long deas, and it's titles range from a few cents to about 40 dollars the most, it wouldn't hurt to finally buy all those titles that i always rented, but never bought.
the collection is not complete since i still need the following:
- chameleon twist 1 & 2
- clayfighter: sculptor's cut
- bomberman 64
- Virtual Pro Wrestling 2 (i played this on an emulator 3 years ago, and i've been looking for a reasonably priced cartridge of this for a few months...still no reasonble price.. :-( )
some titles that i owned on my 64 are on my wii, so i won't consider re-purchasing them.
to summerize this worthless pile of jargon:
n64 rules, even if it is a pain in the butt to re-locate every little add-on and hard to find cartridge. with my luck every game i ever loved was always an oddball game that you can't really find anymore.
- m
My Top 10 PS2 Games
As the PS2 slowly bows out (actually, it totally died 2 years ago, but fanboys like ATLUS and NIS apparently don't know that), this would be a nice time to make a list of the 10 best games I have played on what is easily my favorite console in 16 years of gaming.
METAL GEAR SOLID 2 SONS OF LIBERTY
This was the very first game I ever played on the PS2, perhaps 3 or 4 years ago. I had only recently finished playing MGS1 and didn't really find that to have been a memorable experience. In fact, I'd say MGS1 was overrated and blown out of proportion.
But MGS2 was fantastic, because (i) the caption "SONS OF LIBERTY" was the coolest thing I'd ever heard, and (ii) the game actually had graphics, as compared to the craptacular murky triangles of MGS1.
Plus the gameplay was rock-solid, this time around you got to look around corners, and the camera would zoom in without making a big green mess of your TV-screen. Plus SNAKE could roll around and stuff. The soundtrack could possibly not have been better.
This was the very first game I ever played on the PS2, perhaps 3 or 4 years ago. I had only recently finished playing MGS1 and didn't really find that to have been a memorable experience. In fact, I'd say MGS1 was overrated and blown out of proportion.
But MGS2 was fantastic, because (i) the caption "SONS OF LIBERTY" was the coolest thing I'd ever heard, and (ii) the game actually had graphics, as compared to the craptacular murky triangles of MGS1.
Plus the gameplay was rock-solid, this time around you got to look around corners, and the camera would zoom in without making a big green mess of your TV-screen. Plus SNAKE could roll around and stuff. The soundtrack could possibly not have been better.
"No, SNAKE, that's a barrel. It's not what you think.
He's holding a gun. No, not THAT gun!"
The only minus point would be having to play as JACK and talk to ROSE. Yuck. But I guess that's Hideo Kojima telling us that outside of the fluke that is MGS2, he's actually completely out of ideas.
METAL GEAR SOLID 3 SNACK EATER
This is the final official MGS game on the PS2. This time, we go back in time to play as.. no, not young SNAKE, but SNAKE's dad. Who happens to look exactly the same, sound exactly the same, and have the same name as the SNAKE we've come to know over the years. But SNAKE looks quite dashing with his rugged stubble and longer hair, and proceeds to completely rip off JAMES BOND.
Among the new gameplay features, you get to body-paint the chiseled soldier-boy and take off his shirt. Fun stuff, I guess. If you're a girl. Or [bleep!]ing gay.
More like 'Tootie Fruity' camo.
Let's face the truth: MGS3 is a frustrated teenager's wild babe-fantasy, with a bunch of music, graphics, gameplay, guns, bad guys, and complex storyline put around it smartly to camouflage it.
I'm not saying that's a bad thing.
RESIDENT EVIL 4
RE4 is the best suitcase-packing sim that I've ever played. It's also the only suitcase-packing sim I've ever played, because it's the only one anyone has ever made.
When you're not busy playing the main game i.e. packing your suitcase, you're working on the game's side-story: dishing out revenge on the distant cousins of the TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE badguys. I'm not sure if that sounds like fun for everyone, but hey, who said this is SUPER SMASH BROS?
On the PS2 version, you also get a bunch of extra-games after beating the main game once. Like for instance, you get to play as the mysterious ADA WONG. Which makes you wonder why she wasn't the main character. I mean come on, if you had a choice, who would you pick? The dude packed in a heavy bomber-jacket in the middle of a desert, or the babe in a thigh-baring red silk dress?
No, i m not posting NE pix of her, k? sry.
SHADOW OF THE COLOSSUS
Imagine you're playing CONTRA without a single bad-guy running around the stage. All you need to do is climb or run your way to the Boss, and fight him to proceed to the next stage.
Now imagine you're playing CONTRA, but you're on a horse.
Now imagine you're playing CONTRA, but armed only with a sword.
Now imagine you're playing CONTRA in super slow-motion.
Now imagine you're not playing CONTRA.
SILENT HILL 2
TOMB RAIDER ANNIVERSARY
ONIMUSHA
FATAL FRAME 2 CRIMSON BUTTERFLY
CAPCOM VS SKN 2
DEVIL MAY CRY 1 and 3
Oct 22, 2008
part time superstars give part time performances (the excellent review)
it's a shame, hardly anyone remember the greatness of bill & ted. they were one of the quintessential icons of the 80's (alongside the ninja turtles, ghostbusters, he-man and the masters of the universe.) it was everything an 80's should be.
the bill & ted movies remind us that if we're ever caught in a bind, all we need to do is travel through the past via telephone booth, and all of our problems will be solved.
san dimas california, 1988, bill and ted are about to flunk history. this is very eminent in how they answered their teacher's questions. " WHO WAS JOAN OF ARC?" and ted responds "uhhh, NOAHS WIFE?" braindead humor at it's finest. our protaganists are looking to form a hard rock band in vein of bands like van halen, twisted sister, poison, practically any glam/hair metal band you can think of.
the duo basically travels through time, collecting a myriad of historical figures including genghis khan, beethoven, sigmund freud, abe lincoln, socrates, billy the kid, napoleon, joan of arc (portrayed by one of the member's of the go-gos one of the only few women that i would have dirty dirty sex with.) and let's not forget the princesses (who eventually become the love interests of bill and ted.).
69 dudes!
oh, but there's history in the future, you see, fast foward to god knows what year it is. the band wyld stallyns are pretty much the reason for peace on earth, and in order to prevent their future from going into TIME PARADOX, rufus, played by george carlin, must travel back in time, to make sure that bill and ted pass their history report.
after some verbal disputes with ted's dad (a total douche, and who is also threatening to send him to an alaskan military school.) the booth appears and the two go on their second quest (i forgot to mention the test run in which rufus teaches bill and ted how to use the booth, they end up going to 1700 france, where they mistakenly pick up napoleon.)
throughout time, these important figures are being captured in order for bill and ted to eventually succeed in their history reports. after escaping death in the hands of a british king, messing up the antenna, fixing that same antenna with chewed bubble gum, and a huuuuuge shopping mall brawl, FINALLY ending with a sweet and clever escape scene from the holding cells in which ted's father works. bill and ted finally make it back to san dimas high just in time for their reports.
in true van halen fashion, their reports become a spectacle an arena rock concert of epic proportions. they pass their reports (obviously) and are seen jamming in their garage. finally we hear what wyld stallyns sounds like! but they suck, and not in a "oh my damn, this band is generic" bad, these poor guys don't even know how to play their instruments. rufus then comes back from the future, to hand bill and ted their mighty axes, rufus pulls of a sweet guitar solo (i forgot who the guy was who actually PLAYED the solo, i wouldn't be surprised if it was van halen, but i may be wrong.) and bill and ted and their new ladies live happily ever after.
"they get better."
this movie is awesome because it's a great blend of comedy, that valley dude stupidity, rock n' roll, parts that just make you wanna go "aaaww", missy, uh i mean mom, 80's nostalgia up the @$$.
it's great, and i'm surprised a lot of people overlook this film, hell, even the effects aren't bad for it's time, and the music is great.
and this is the main reason why when we think of keanu reeves, we always think "woah.."
10/10
bogus journey review coming soon.
-m
the bill & ted movies remind us that if we're ever caught in a bind, all we need to do is travel through the past via telephone booth, and all of our problems will be solved.
san dimas california, 1988, bill and ted are about to flunk history. this is very eminent in how they answered their teacher's questions. " WHO WAS JOAN OF ARC?" and ted responds "uhhh, NOAHS WIFE?" braindead humor at it's finest. our protaganists are looking to form a hard rock band in vein of bands like van halen, twisted sister, poison, practically any glam/hair metal band you can think of.
the duo basically travels through time, collecting a myriad of historical figures including genghis khan, beethoven, sigmund freud, abe lincoln, socrates, billy the kid, napoleon, joan of arc (portrayed by one of the member's of the go-gos one of the only few women that i would have dirty dirty sex with.) and let's not forget the princesses (who eventually become the love interests of bill and ted.).
69 dudes!
oh, but there's history in the future, you see, fast foward to god knows what year it is. the band wyld stallyns are pretty much the reason for peace on earth, and in order to prevent their future from going into TIME PARADOX, rufus, played by george carlin, must travel back in time, to make sure that bill and ted pass their history report.
after some verbal disputes with ted's dad (a total douche, and who is also threatening to send him to an alaskan military school.) the booth appears and the two go on their second quest (i forgot to mention the test run in which rufus teaches bill and ted how to use the booth, they end up going to 1700 france, where they mistakenly pick up napoleon.)
throughout time, these important figures are being captured in order for bill and ted to eventually succeed in their history reports. after escaping death in the hands of a british king, messing up the antenna, fixing that same antenna with chewed bubble gum, and a huuuuuge shopping mall brawl, FINALLY ending with a sweet and clever escape scene from the holding cells in which ted's father works. bill and ted finally make it back to san dimas high just in time for their reports.
in true van halen fashion, their reports become a spectacle an arena rock concert of epic proportions. they pass their reports (obviously) and are seen jamming in their garage. finally we hear what wyld stallyns sounds like! but they suck, and not in a "oh my damn, this band is generic" bad, these poor guys don't even know how to play their instruments. rufus then comes back from the future, to hand bill and ted their mighty axes, rufus pulls of a sweet guitar solo (i forgot who the guy was who actually PLAYED the solo, i wouldn't be surprised if it was van halen, but i may be wrong.) and bill and ted and their new ladies live happily ever after.
"they get better."
this movie is awesome because it's a great blend of comedy, that valley dude stupidity, rock n' roll, parts that just make you wanna go "aaaww", missy, uh i mean mom, 80's nostalgia up the @$$.
it's great, and i'm surprised a lot of people overlook this film, hell, even the effects aren't bad for it's time, and the music is great.
and this is the main reason why when we think of keanu reeves, we always think "woah.."
10/10
bogus journey review coming soon.
-m
Love letter to Robotron
Old vs New
Games used to be different. Way back in time, way back in the early 80s, technology was primitive. There was simply not all that much they could do compared with the technology today. Processors were slow and memory contraints were severe. For example, the jpeg screenshot below is about 1/3 the size of the game it came from. You had 50k in which to create a game, program, graphics, sound, all of it. These severe restraints limited what they could do with the game, but they also forced developers to be really efficient with what they had. Every byte of data needed to do its job, and the concept behind the game needed to be solid or it was no fun at all. As a matter of fact, the idea behind a game was often it's distinguishing feature and some of those old games were quite inventive.
Of course, to a modern gamer, old games are all but unplayable. Graphics were crude and brightly coloured, the controls were unforgiving, the only sounds were bleeps and bloops, and the games themselves were usually extremely repetitive. The only reason you played was to see how high you could run the score. Incidentally, when was the last time you played a game that even gave you points? These old games were played because gamers liked the act of playing them. That seems to be a foreign concept to some modern gamers who want to watch a story and unlock things.
Games nowadays of course blow those early games out of the water in every respect. The graphics today are amazing, and the sound is perfect. A good modern game tells a story well and immerses you in a different world, something a game from the 80s could hardly hope to do. Yet there is something old games offer that new games don't. Old games were about getting good at them, not just walking through them. There's nothing like beating your own personal best in a game you love. Old games were about competing with yourself.
Enter Robotron
Although I'm old enough that I could in theory have played Robotron in the arcade, my mommy didn't like arcades because that's where all the big kids hung out and she didn't give me any quarters anyways. I got introduced to Robotron mainly through MAME. I have since bought a copy of Midway Arcade Treasures.
Robotron is perhaps the greatest pure action game ever made, unsurpassed even until this day. The concept behind Robotron is very, very simple. There are enemies. You shoot them. Saving members of THE LAST HUMAN FAMILY gives you bonus points. Where Robotron distinguishes itself is in the frantic pace of its gameplay.
If you can careful, maybe you're survival!
You're the little guy in the middle. You spawn in the middle of a level of enemies and they pretty much swarm you instantly and try to kill you. When you die, you re-spawn again in the middle, only the enemies you've killed remain dead. When you clear every enemy off the screen (except for hulks) you move onto the next wave. There are a variety of enemies. The grunts (red guys pictured above) who just run straight at you, the hulks (green guys pictured above) which just wander around but they're indestructible, brains which shoot guided missiles at you and turn family members into kamikaze zombies, spheroids which spawn legions of little dudes in grey hats that spit out projectiles of varying speeds and trajectories, and tanks which fill the screen with masses of projectiles that bounce off walls. Oh, and littering the field are mines, so watch where you step.
You are not defenceless. You basically shoot like a machine gun. The controls of Robotron were novel for its time. You had two joysticks. The left one moved you around, and the right one controlled the direction of fire. You also get a free life every 25,000 points.
It's not fair!
Robotron may be a lot of things, but fair it ain't. Sometimes the way you spawn guarantees a quick death. Sometimes a spheroid just flies straight into you intead of hiding in the corners like they usually do. Sometimes a hulk takes a random turn and blocks your only avenue of escape. Sometimes you'll swear the game is messing with your mind. The spheroids sometimes fire extremely slow projectiles that behave in effect like mines. You're expecting it to go past you but it doesn't and you end up backing into it or something. Sometimes the game is just going to kill you and that's all there is to it. Aside from all that, the game is just brutally difficult. You're being swarmed by grunts, the hulks are blocking your fire, and spheriods are shooting waves of projectiles at you from the corners. And those are the easy levels. Tank levels will make you wish you were just getting swarmed by an unstoppable horde. I guess that's why the occasional unfair death doesn't really bother me. It doesn't really make the game any harder.
So what's good about it?
If you've never played a game like this, it's hard to describe. You're always about 1/20th of a second away from dying. The demands it makes on your concentration are intense. Most of the time you're just shooting the thing nearest to you just to survive. Every step along your path is carved out of the horde. Sometimes a volley of projectiles will come at you and you have to be able to dodge most of them and shoot a couple that you can't. After a while your conscious mind isn't even playing because it can't keep up. You'll do something and think "Wow! I can't believe I did that!" and then you'll die immediately and probably lose 5 lives because you've broken the spell. If you resist the temptation to think about what you just did, you'll be doing unbelievable stuff on a regular basis. Playing Robotron for me is a meditative experience. It actually puts my mind in a different state, and that's something modern games have not been able to do for me.
I recommend this game
This game is an incredible amount of fun. You might find a game as intense, but you won't find one more intense. It's on the first Midway collection for PS2 and Xbox, and it's cheap. Shouldn't cost more than 29.99 onlay. There's also a version of it for Xbox360 arcade. It may be only 50k, but you'll keep going back to it. It's that good.
today made me realize:
that i'm not into video games as much as i used to be.... i wonder why?
i met up with a friend from campus, this dude that i used to play brawl with, and he was talking about games and stuff, usually, the 15 year old in me would be like "HOLY EFFING SHI-BALLS U LIKE DIS GAEM TOO?" but it just seemed bleak, and for the first time i shrugged.
this applies to my current subscription to game informer, years ago i would be super stoked, but i flip these pages only to be pummeled to the ground by endless and unsuccessful attempts to grab my attention. this led me to believe that maybe i'm losing my touch, maybe, i'm *gasp* growing older, and really drifting away from a somewhat childish hobby, but in truth. it's not me. it's the stuff that's coming out.
you see, i can claim that the playstation 2 is the best system ever, well...i lied, i think the dreamcast is, as a matter of fact, i still have these two bastards hooked up to my crummy television set in my room.
there was originality on a lot of their releases (speaking on behalf of the DC) , albeit a lot of bad ones as well... i miss those days where i can get really suped on something coming out, in my case this is street fighter iv, and tatsunoko vs. capcom. my wii will actually be used for something OTHER than surfing the web and on youtube!!!
to backtrack, all the way to paragraph...3, i'm a fighting game fan, i may not be the best player of these kinds of games, i may not know every nook and crannie to their technical prowess, i just enjoy beating the tar out of something. this love goes back when i first had a sega genesis at 6 years old (that is either back in 92 or 93...) and i got the first mortal kombat game, and super street fighter 2. i was in loooove with this genre, the fact that it can replace real-life school fights, you can take that straight to the console and or an arcade, and your worth was proved by that.
i have this nostalgic connection with them, and all jokes aside (skn lol.) i really loved these games growing up. fast foward about 15 years later, and i still have that nostalgic feeling. i'm not much of a 3-d fighting fan, perhaps it's a bit too technical for me, but that doesn't mean that i enjoy them, i mean, i think VF 5 is probably the deepest 3-d fighter ever.
if i go to the chinatown arcade, i feel right at home sometimes, seeing street fighter iv there was like me in bayonne at the electric playground, when they first released street fighter III...
anyway, this is a total mess of a blog, and i just wanted to write something to write something.
kinda thrown-off that this is specifically for video games and movies.
i'll write a review about se7en and how after watching it so many times, it still never ceases to amaze me...
maybe i'll talk about zach and miri make a porno next week...
to summarize, you silly video game developers, if you want to truly interest me, you better dedicate most of your development to fighting games.
end.
-m
i met up with a friend from campus, this dude that i used to play brawl with, and he was talking about games and stuff, usually, the 15 year old in me would be like "HOLY EFFING SHI-BALLS U LIKE DIS GAEM TOO?" but it just seemed bleak, and for the first time i shrugged.
this applies to my current subscription to game informer, years ago i would be super stoked, but i flip these pages only to be pummeled to the ground by endless and unsuccessful attempts to grab my attention. this led me to believe that maybe i'm losing my touch, maybe, i'm *gasp* growing older, and really drifting away from a somewhat childish hobby, but in truth. it's not me. it's the stuff that's coming out.
you see, i can claim that the playstation 2 is the best system ever, well...i lied, i think the dreamcast is, as a matter of fact, i still have these two bastards hooked up to my crummy television set in my room.
there was originality on a lot of their releases (speaking on behalf of the DC) , albeit a lot of bad ones as well... i miss those days where i can get really suped on something coming out, in my case this is street fighter iv, and tatsunoko vs. capcom. my wii will actually be used for something OTHER than surfing the web and on youtube!!!
to backtrack, all the way to paragraph...3, i'm a fighting game fan, i may not be the best player of these kinds of games, i may not know every nook and crannie to their technical prowess, i just enjoy beating the tar out of something. this love goes back when i first had a sega genesis at 6 years old (that is either back in 92 or 93...) and i got the first mortal kombat game, and super street fighter 2. i was in loooove with this genre, the fact that it can replace real-life school fights, you can take that straight to the console and or an arcade, and your worth was proved by that.
i have this nostalgic connection with them, and all jokes aside (skn lol.) i really loved these games growing up. fast foward about 15 years later, and i still have that nostalgic feeling. i'm not much of a 3-d fighting fan, perhaps it's a bit too technical for me, but that doesn't mean that i enjoy them, i mean, i think VF 5 is probably the deepest 3-d fighter ever.
if i go to the chinatown arcade, i feel right at home sometimes, seeing street fighter iv there was like me in bayonne at the electric playground, when they first released street fighter III...
anyway, this is a total mess of a blog, and i just wanted to write something to write something.
kinda thrown-off that this is specifically for video games and movies.
i'll write a review about se7en and how after watching it so many times, it still never ceases to amaze me...
maybe i'll talk about zach and miri make a porno next week...
to summarize, you silly video game developers, if you want to truly interest me, you better dedicate most of your development to fighting games.
end.
-m
Oct 21, 2008
Guys I has a confessions to makes.
I like to use ASH CRIMSON in KOF games. He's kinda GUILE-ish, but womanly. I like to charge his SONIC BOOM while doing the ballerina moves, and I like to ROLL WHILE CHARGING DOWN LK LP LP SUMMERSAULT CHOMBOE.
I also like to use REMY in 3S and pick his ASH CRIMSON LP+MK+HP COLOR. I like to dash up after a knock-down and mash crouching jab with the DOWN LP + LK OPTION SELECT so that I can't be thrown and will stuff reversals. And then I punish whatever they do after that with an LK RISING RAGE FLASH. I also like to fake a MEATY LK COLD BLUE KICK. That way I trick them into high blocking, but the kick actually recovery by the time they're up and I grab. Sometimes I will actually hit with the MEATY LK-CBK, so I got a neat tricky lil mixup. I also like to CHOMBOE into SUPER ART II SUPREME RISING RAGE FLASH off of the crouching jabs.
The ONLAY problem I have with my strat is that it's boring, and if I get hit while crouching (cuz I'm crouching all the time to charge RISING RAGE FLASH), I take 29.99 ONLAY million extra damage. OUCH!
Remy >>> Ash Crimson def def
I also like to use REMY in 3S and pick his ASH CRIMSON LP+MK+HP COLOR. I like to dash up after a knock-down and mash crouching jab with the DOWN LP + LK OPTION SELECT so that I can't be thrown and will stuff reversals. And then I punish whatever they do after that with an LK RISING RAGE FLASH. I also like to fake a MEATY LK COLD BLUE KICK. That way I trick them into high blocking, but the kick actually recovery by the time they're up and I grab. Sometimes I will actually hit with the MEATY LK-CBK, so I got a neat tricky lil mixup. I also like to CHOMBOE into SUPER ART II SUPREME RISING RAGE FLASH off of the crouching jabs.
The ONLAY problem I have with my strat is that it's boring, and if I get hit while crouching (cuz I'm crouching all the time to charge RISING RAGE FLASH), I take 29.99 ONLAY million extra damage. OUCH!
Remy >>> Ash Crimson def def
Oct 20, 2008
Dead Space: Complete Impressions (PS3 style)
i`m going to see if i can MAYBE structure this a little bit. if i`m going to write these damn reviews, i might as well get some sort of a system worked out.
lets start with the story. in the future, with the Earth`s resources dried up, huge spaceships called Planet Crackers are sent out to harvest resources from other planets. they are like huge oil platforms in space, essentially. they harvest all the resources they can carry, and then haul them back to Earth. the Ishimura is the largest ship in it`s class, and it has had a total communications blackout.
cue the repair team, including the main character of the game, Isaac Clarke, and engineer. the team is dispatched to make contact with the Ishimura and make the repairs necessary for it to complete it`s mission. upon arrival, you quickly discover things have gone less than ideal, and it pretty much just looks like a slaughterhouse now. after an early attack by hideous creatures called Necromorphs, Isaac is split from the rest of the crew and must make various repairs to traverse the ship. you later pick up other story bits involving a kooky religion and such things, but i`m not going to go into that.
next up i will address the lighting and sound. the lighting is pretty much creepy as hell. it varies from dimly lit, to barely lit, to brightly lit, to flickering lights. the lights cast shadows in a realistic and spooky manner. there are also a lot of different colors of lights, from the flourecent white to the emergency orange-yellow spinners, and even some soft greens. there was never a point where the lighting seemed out of place or took away from the experience. it was just always done so well that you didn`t really even notice it was doing anything at all. it just blended perfectly with the mood of the game.
the sound was also outrageously terrific. from the spinning blades of the Ripper, the footsteps, and even the airlocks opening and closing, the sound was very well done. the music was also very subtle to the point where i can`t really remember any of it. thats not to say it was boring KOF style music. the music just fit and played it`s part. this is first and foremost a game, and i think the developers understood that. nothing really gets in the way of the gameplay. the music is just there to help set the mood, and that is just what it does.
up next is the controls. i generally can complain about something when it comes to controls, but there was really nothing to complain about here. there is no quick turn, but i can`t think of a game that uses dual analogue control and also has a quick turn. you can invert the controls, if you`re ONE OF THOSE. i was concerned that readying the weapons with L1 was going to be a problem, but it really didn`t take any getting used to at all, it just worked.
R1 and R2 are primary and secondary fire, respectively. you also have two melee attacks for when you aren`t aiming your weapon. the wild haymakers and a super stomp. running is performed by holding the L2 button, which is also surprisingly lovely. the directional pad switches to one of your four held weapons, while pressing in the right stick is probably the greatest thing ever. a blue line forms on the ground pointing you in the direction you should be going. no more getting lost a la Resident Evil or opening the map every 5 second like it`s Silent Hill.
onward to the gameplay, the important stuff. i`m only going to touch on the combat as it pertains to the two enemy types: regular dudes and BOSS MEN.
as far as the regular Necromorphs are concerned, most of them are defeated by severing their limbs. this deals extra damage and has the added bonus of making them less dangerous. cutting off a head makes them blind, cutting off the legs forces them to crawl. this turns the game into more of a strategic shooter rather than an "aim for the head" or just fill `em full of lead shooter.
the boss fights i found to be very very awesome. they are somewhat objective based. two of the bosses you can`t even kill through normal means. they require you to use your weapons and skills as a means of slowing them down to spring a sort of trap on them. while this can be mildly frustrating when things aren`t going your way, it`s not by means of the game just being a total prick. it`s more because you simply didn`t do something right.
there is a boss fight done in one of the games gimmick sort of features, the Zero-G. in Zero-G your magnetic boots let you walk on walls, and you can jump from one surface to another. this boss fight takes place in a large tube structure, with an entire end of the tube being clogged by the boss. it had a sort of old-school feel to it.
the final boss also was sort of an old-school throwback kind of boss, in my mind. there were certain points you had to hit, and a certain pattern you had to get into the groove of. it really was an enjoyable boss battle.
well, this structure caused me to miss a few things i`m sure, i should have just babbled like i was talking to someone. hopefully this review was at least helpful to the three or four people who will read it and don`t really play video games of this sort anyway.
~Maxie
lets start with the story. in the future, with the Earth`s resources dried up, huge spaceships called Planet Crackers are sent out to harvest resources from other planets. they are like huge oil platforms in space, essentially. they harvest all the resources they can carry, and then haul them back to Earth. the Ishimura is the largest ship in it`s class, and it has had a total communications blackout.
cue the repair team, including the main character of the game, Isaac Clarke, and engineer. the team is dispatched to make contact with the Ishimura and make the repairs necessary for it to complete it`s mission. upon arrival, you quickly discover things have gone less than ideal, and it pretty much just looks like a slaughterhouse now. after an early attack by hideous creatures called Necromorphs, Isaac is split from the rest of the crew and must make various repairs to traverse the ship. you later pick up other story bits involving a kooky religion and such things, but i`m not going to go into that.
next up i will address the lighting and sound. the lighting is pretty much creepy as hell. it varies from dimly lit, to barely lit, to brightly lit, to flickering lights. the lights cast shadows in a realistic and spooky manner. there are also a lot of different colors of lights, from the flourecent white to the emergency orange-yellow spinners, and even some soft greens. there was never a point where the lighting seemed out of place or took away from the experience. it was just always done so well that you didn`t really even notice it was doing anything at all. it just blended perfectly with the mood of the game.
the sound was also outrageously terrific. from the spinning blades of the Ripper, the footsteps, and even the airlocks opening and closing, the sound was very well done. the music was also very subtle to the point where i can`t really remember any of it. thats not to say it was boring KOF style music. the music just fit and played it`s part. this is first and foremost a game, and i think the developers understood that. nothing really gets in the way of the gameplay. the music is just there to help set the mood, and that is just what it does.
up next is the controls. i generally can complain about something when it comes to controls, but there was really nothing to complain about here. there is no quick turn, but i can`t think of a game that uses dual analogue control and also has a quick turn. you can invert the controls, if you`re ONE OF THOSE. i was concerned that readying the weapons with L1 was going to be a problem, but it really didn`t take any getting used to at all, it just worked.
R1 and R2 are primary and secondary fire, respectively. you also have two melee attacks for when you aren`t aiming your weapon. the wild haymakers and a super stomp. running is performed by holding the L2 button, which is also surprisingly lovely. the directional pad switches to one of your four held weapons, while pressing in the right stick is probably the greatest thing ever. a blue line forms on the ground pointing you in the direction you should be going. no more getting lost a la Resident Evil or opening the map every 5 second like it`s Silent Hill.
onward to the gameplay, the important stuff. i`m only going to touch on the combat as it pertains to the two enemy types: regular dudes and BOSS MEN.
as far as the regular Necromorphs are concerned, most of them are defeated by severing their limbs. this deals extra damage and has the added bonus of making them less dangerous. cutting off a head makes them blind, cutting off the legs forces them to crawl. this turns the game into more of a strategic shooter rather than an "aim for the head" or just fill `em full of lead shooter.
the boss fights i found to be very very awesome. they are somewhat objective based. two of the bosses you can`t even kill through normal means. they require you to use your weapons and skills as a means of slowing them down to spring a sort of trap on them. while this can be mildly frustrating when things aren`t going your way, it`s not by means of the game just being a total prick. it`s more because you simply didn`t do something right.
there is a boss fight done in one of the games gimmick sort of features, the Zero-G. in Zero-G your magnetic boots let you walk on walls, and you can jump from one surface to another. this boss fight takes place in a large tube structure, with an entire end of the tube being clogged by the boss. it had a sort of old-school feel to it.
the final boss also was sort of an old-school throwback kind of boss, in my mind. there were certain points you had to hit, and a certain pattern you had to get into the groove of. it really was an enjoyable boss battle.
well, this structure caused me to miss a few things i`m sure, i should have just babbled like i was talking to someone. hopefully this review was at least helpful to the three or four people who will read it and don`t really play video games of this sort anyway.
~Maxie
Oct 16, 2008
Bad (mash) Engrish
Hey Mash, I promised you a while ago that I'd write something for your communications class regarding the dangers of poor English. I was going to write it in an MS Word document, but I don't know if you have word, so I just put it here instead. Besides, this way our other reader might enjoy it too. Your English is very good, so some of this will be OLD NEWS, but it will be funny anyway. Unfortunately for you, these examples are all Japanese because I don't have any experience with Pakistani ESL people. Hopefully though there will be some general principles that you'll be able to use. I got all of these from Engrish.com, so thanks goes to them for existing.
Spelling in English is really important. Really simple and seemingly innocuous spelling errors can dramatically change the meaning of what you're saying.
This fruit can hurt you
BAD PRODUCT NAMES
I hope you also sell hats
Maybe I'll go find a McDonald's instead.
Can I play?
Referring to someone as "easy" means that they're easy to seduce. Most women wouldn't want to call themselves easy, and the women that do would probably find this jacket boring and opt for a baby doll T that says "slut" instead.
Where do you put the batteries?
After looking at a whole pile of examples, I sorted out what I thought were a few basic different categories of mistakes, and I'll go through them and give a few examples of each. First though I'd like to give you my favourite bit of Engrish ever. I can't fit it into a category because the English is so berserk I don't know where to begin critiquing it.
Please to buy a children for increase the pleasant time! If you can careful maybe you're survival!
It's a little hard to read, so I'll transcribe it:
A dangerous toy. This toy is being made for the extreme priority the good looks. The little part which suffocates when the sharp part which gets hurt is swallowed is contained generously. Only the person who can take responsibility by itself is to play.
I don't know about you, but I don't even know what it is and I want one.
SPELLING ERRORS
Spelling in English is really important. Really simple and seemingly innocuous spelling errors can dramatically change the meaning of what you're saying.
Mmm! Appetizing!
The Japanese often confuse "L" with "R". It's clear that they're selling "Fresh Juice", but "Flesh Juice" sounds like they're offering liquified meat in a cup.
For people who don't like their pets.
It looks like this is fresh grass for your pet to eat. Yes, even dogs and cats love to eat fresh grass. They do not however like to eat GLASS and you shouldn't try to feed it to your pet.
This fruit can hurt youFirst it must be said that this is a perfectly sensible phonetic spelling of "pineapple". In Japanese, "ai" represents the long "I" sound. It doesn't work to spell English words phonetically though, and this is a good example of why not.
BAD PRODUCT NAMES
There are a lot of products with English names or at least western sounding names in Japan, but some of them vitually guarantee that no English speaker will buy them. Bad for the product, but great for us because it's a mistake that can have hilarious results.
Where did this chocolate come from?
Nobody should ever give any food product a name that in any way reminds you of your butt. Ever. This goes double for chocolate because it already looks like poo.
I hope you also sell hats"Woops" sounds like they're mistake prone. You do not want to hear WOOPS when you're paying 29.99 to have your hair cut unless you like looking silly.
Maybe I'll go find a McDonald's instead.This is probably a snack stand in an airport terminal and it seems logical to therefore call it the "Terminal Snack Stand". Unfortunately, "terminal" is also an adjective meaning "fatal". Basically the name of this snack bar says "THIS SNACK STAND WILL KILL YOU". I think I'll eat somewhere else.
INNUENDO
English is full of innuendo about sex and bodily functions. If you're not careful, you end up with stuff like this:
Can I play?BJ is clearly a magazine about J-League basketball. It's also short for "blow-job".
To each his own I suppose.
Fudge is a tasty treat. It can also mean "poop". If the magazine had simply been called "Fudge", probably nobody would have thought it was funny. But calling it "Men's Fudge" sounds like it's fudge that comes from men.
Refreshing honesty
Referring to someone as "easy" means that they're easy to seduce. Most women wouldn't want to call themselves easy, and the women that do would probably find this jacket boring and opt for a baby doll T that says "slut" instead.
From over 40 different breeds!
"Wiz" can be short for "wizard". For example, a computer wiz is somebody who is really good at using computers. "Wiz" can also mean urine, and dogs are famous for their talent for peeing all over everything.
NUANCE
The way you say things matters and can have a huge effect on the meaning you're getting across. I offer these as examples.
Where do you put the batteries?People are "her" or "him" or "he" or "she". People are never "it". That's for inanimate objects onlay. This T-shirt implies that the wearer isn't a person, IT is a robot or something instead.
Slightly less gross than trucker's fluid
I know what they were thinking. Ballerinas are famous for their fluid motion. There's a big difference though between saying something like "fluid ballerina" or even "a ballerina is fluid", which is what I imagine they meant, and saying "ballerina's fluid", which means "fluid from a ballerina" AKA "dancer piss".
Time for a new me.
I think they meant to say "do your own recycling", but it sounds like they're instructing you to mulch yourself up and spread yourself over the garden.
VERBING NOUNS
This one doesn't yield bad results, it just sounds silly. Fairly self explanatory. I'll give a couple examples.
SIMPLY NOT KNOWING WHAT YOU'RE SAYING
Again, fairly self explanatory. If in doubt, don't wear it, don't use it, don't say it.
I wouldn't exactly call you macho, but that's a little unbelievable.
In case you can't read his shirt, it says "BEWARE, I'm armed and I have pre-menstrual tension". Men shouldn't wear this shirt because they can't menstruate. Women shouldn't wear this shirt because bragging about PMS isn't funny or cute, it's obnoxious and a little silly.WTF?
There are lots of obvious mistakes that make the message sound funny, yet you can tell what they were trying to say. These are the exact opposite; there don't seem to be any mistakes, but the message doesn't make any sense. I have no explanation for any of these.
Don't annoy this guy or he'll compliment you. Maybe even give you a hug.
What are bulldogs made of? POWDER!!!
Happy hamsters taste better than grumpy ones.
SOMETIMES ENGRISH SAYS IT BETTER THAN ENGLISH EVER COULD
Yes my friend, it is indeed.
SPECIAL MESSAGE FOR SOUR GRAPES:
That whole going blind thing is just a myth.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
